How do you feel about Dating a co-worker?

Question

Is it ok?

Answer 1

I am dating my co-worker! :-)

I find that, so long as we're professional about it at work, and just act as 'friends' and don't massively flirt with each other, its not a problem.. Its a bit difficult, i must admit, just acting as his friend, but the spark i get from eye contact with him is electric! Like a secret we're sharing that only we know about.

Sure, if it doesn't work out, i can imagine that it will be quite uncomfortable to work with him, but at the moment, its worth that risk!

Answer 2

I think it's generally a bad idea unless one of you is planning on leaving the company fairly soon (or at least moving to a different location). Why? A few reasons. (1) Other co-workers will do you in with gossip and your relationship will become fodder for the rumor mill (that's hard to escape once you're in it).(2) Bosses hate that dynamic in the workplace, not because they fear they'll catch you making out in the stockroom, but because of the danger of your squabbles spilling over into the office. (3) That much closeness has a tendency to put you on overload....you never get a chance to "miss" each other because you're always around each other, so one or both of you begin to feel smothered or like you're losing your own identity. This can significantly shorten the life of a relationship. (4) In the event of a breakup (God forbid) working together would be too awkward.

Answer 3

No

1) You will lose some objectiveness when there is work issues or conflict between you and your co-worker. (Esp manager and those under him, but that is outside of this topic). Anyway, e.g If you two have a flight, and you bring that emotion to work, it can be killing. Jealousy can kill it too

2) If you exclude everyone at work except the two of you, it would be aweful for your team spirit

3) It will distract your work. You might end up chatting a lot with each other, or glancing at each other

4) You might think adult can behave, but hey e.g if you love to watch TV, you would put a TV in your office?

5) Your boss might not like that, cuz you will make an example for other worker to do the same

6) If you do have work disagreement, it might turn into a disaster in personal level too. The more often you meet with each other, the more friction it create. Balance level of person space is healthy in any relationship

Answer 4

It may sound like a good idea but can lead to real trouble. Having witnessed it for many years in different jobs, I generally think it is not the best of ideas. Working for the same company, OK. Working in the same office; will cause problems. If you get a raise or good assignment, you slept your way into it. If the relationship goes south, you still gotta work with the guy.

Answer 5

It is never okay to date a co-worker. If there is a conflict, you have to see this person every day. In addition, many companies will fire one of the people if they are involved with another person in the company. Furthermore, there will be some conflict if one gets a promotion before the other. There are numerous problems that can be avoided.

Answer 6

I think it totally depends on the situation. Now normally I would say I don't think it's a good idea! However... I know three couples who met at work who either just got married (one year ago) or who are engaged.

My boyfriend's colleague met his now-wife at their work. He was her manager (he's 30, she's 24) and they dated for about two years before getting married last September. They still work for the same company but once they became serious she asked to be transfered to a new department.

My brother met his fiance (getting married in December) at work. My brother was her manager. They only dated for about 3 months while working together and then he resigned to go back to school.

One of my good friends from school met his fiance (getting married October) at work. They shared the same position at work and dated for a year before getting engaged. They still work together in the same office, but my friend has moved to a new position so they no longer work side by side.

I think that as long as you have your own space at work and don't have to work side by side, it can work. (As shown above!) But I think if you have to work together all day, every day AND try to date outside of work, then it can be really difficult. What happens if you break up? I think you really have to be prepared for that.

(Oh, and someone above mentioned not to do it because it's like dating a roommate. In that case, I moved in with my boyfriend - we didn't know each other at the time - and have now been together almost 18 months. We plan to get married within the next couple of years.)

So basically... it can work but be very careful!

Answer 7

i think it's fine, BUT there can be a lot of strings attached. do you care if everyone in the office gossips about you? or, what happens if you two break up...are you gonna feel comfortable when he's talking to other girls? really, as long as you two are mature...there's no big deal. i've had a couple of sexual relationships in the past with coworkers (never anything serious), and they always worked out where nobody was uncomfortable.

Answer 8

I wouldn't recommend it. My friend went through it.
She started dating one of our managers (shift manager), and lots of rumors started around the 2 of them. How since she was dating the manager she could get away with anything.

Or even if you do date there might be other female co-workers around him that might make you feel uncomfortable.
It will distract you from your work.

Answer 9

to me it doesnt seem like a problem, just as long as you keep your relationship out of the work place and when your at work focus on work than everything should be cool. Unless your job doesnt allow you to date co-workers than thats another story and you would have to decide whither you want your job or the guy.

Answer 10

It's risky...relationships can be brought to work (which causes trouble). If you two try to keep the relationship discreet, ignorning one another at work can become stressful or even hurtful...however if you are open about it, gossip is likely to fly.

A lot of people vote against it, and I always have, even though I've taken that risk before...it does present additional challenges.