I was recently invited to a wedding, and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to bring a date or not. Usually the envelope would be addresseed to myself plus guest, but it just had my name on it. I was confused whether or not to bring my bf, so I called my friend who's a bridesmaid. Hers also just had her name on it. How do you know what to do if it doesn't say on the envelope or the rsvp card? Thanks!
2007-09-11 06:53:28 · 30 answers · asked by mystiflaur 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Interesting question here. to the extent that the RSVP allows an option for number of people attending, I think that at least sends mixed signals about whether you may bring a date or not.
I understand the other comments about how weddings are expensive, and guest lists may be heartwrenching, but on the other hand, it would seem to me to be very rude only to invite your friend at the expense of your friend's feelings (or that of the friend's significant other). Let's assume you stay together -- the bride will be the one who's "too cheap" to invite him along to meet your friends.
A wedding is a celebration -- you want your guests to be HAPPY. Forcing a girl to go by herself, dance and eat by herself (or make the guy jealous over what she IS doing), isn't exactly a good way to get on her good side.
Here's what I would do -- leave an out. Contact the bride or the bride's mom and say "hey, I am thrilled to come to the wedding. I noticed, though, that the invitation was addressed only to me, but the RSVP card allowed for more than one person to RSVP. I was thinking about bringing my boyfriend, do you have seating for him at your venue?" That way, if she's just too cheap, she can simply say "No." as a little white lie. If there was just a mistake, she'll tell you.
Good luck, and I hope your bf gets to come!
2007-09-11 10:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Some people have limited wedding budgets and cannot afford to feed everyone plus their spouses or significant others and/or all of their friends, so when it's only your name on the invite, do assume it's only you who are invited and not your boyfriend.
Contrary to popular belief, one guest DOES make a difference when you only have a limited number of seats and meals available.
Also, make sure to RSVP on time, so the wedding party can make the final arrangements with the caterer. And remember, barring an emergency, it's just as rude to say yes and not show up, leaving the couple to eat the cost of the extra meal, as it is to bring a guest not listed on the invite, leaving them a meal short...or to not respond and then show up anyway.
2007-09-11 07:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by Vangorn2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only the person(s) that are named on the envelope are invited. If there is no "and guest" then your bf is not invited.
And please please do not call the bride and ask her.
It can be quite a struggle to come up with your guest list and you have to figure out where you have to draw the line. You have to consider if you can afford for everyone to bring a guest, or limit it to only spouses and engaged couples.
Depending on the status of the guest list, this could end up DOUBLING your costs. And then if you make one exception, you have to make MORE exceptions. The next thing you know, guests are running your guest list and blowing your budget.
You may think that ONE person won't make that much difference, but you and 50 other people may think the same thing.
If they are not close to your bf, then there is really no reason that he needs to be there to share THEIR special day. They chose YOU to be there.
Just go alone and have fun with your friends that are invited to the wedding. Don't take it personally... and don't put the bride on the spot by calling and asking her. That would really be rude. It's their party, THEY choose the guest list.
2007-09-11 07:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 11⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to accept an invitation that has not been issued. It is incorrect to assume that a wedding is an opportunity to entertain a guest of ones own at the hosts' expense. If only your name is on the invitation, then only you are invited. How do you expect to meet anyone if you're dragging a date along everywhere you go?
Those who host weddings are perfectly correct to limit the guest list to only those whom they actually know and care about. The only exception is couples; one can't properly ask only half of a married or engaged couple. Whether to consider those who cohabit without benefit of marriage as a couple is up for grabs.
2007-09-11 07:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it just has your name on it, YOU are the only person invited. You can call around and ask if you want because the bride/groom may not have known that you're supposed to include "And Guest" if they don't mind someone tagging along. However, their guest list may be very limited because of costs (the main reason couples don't include "And Guest" on their invitations) and you bringing your boyfriend without asking would be very rude. Just always remember that you should never, ever simply assume you can bring some one along when you're invited to an event.
2007-09-11 07:07:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Call the bride and find out. I know when I addressed mine, I gave + guest to only a select few. The reason being is that I knew some people to already be single and not dating anyone. Plus I knew some girls that have already said they were going stag or as each other's dates.
If I knew they had a steady boyfriend/fiance I included their name. I would assume the bride is short on space and chose not to let some people bring dates. Call the bride and find out. Bottom line, it would be more awkward to rsvp for 2 and upset the bride than it would be to make a quick phone call.
Generally if only your name was on it, you were the only one invited.
2007-09-11 06:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa H 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If the invite does not say "and guest" then do not bring a guest! The bride may have had to keep her guest list to a minimum due to budget or location capacity.
Don't ask- it will put her in an awkward situation. Just go and have fun- by yourself.
2007-09-11 08:18:00 · answer #7 · answered by Amy P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If just your name was on the envelope, then you should NOT take a guest, because you are the only one the invite is meant for. Weddings are expensive, and unless you're in a steady, committed relationship, the hosts are under no obligation to invite your significant other.
2007-09-11 08:12:14 · answer #8 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The general is:
Unless the "plus guest" is included, you attend the function yourself.
It may be due to money, size, and formality of the wedding. Some wedding couples wants it intimate, and not have to share it with people they don't know. If you are unsure, you can always casually mention it to the bride for some clarification. Tell her you would respect her decision which ever way, and no feelings hurt. Explain to her you just didn't want to upset her plans.
2007-09-11 07:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It means only you are invited, and you are not to bring a date. You can either attend alone, or you can decline to go. You may not RSVP for two. Don't call the couple and put them on the spot - it was probably a hard, heartwrenching decision for them to have to decide that they couldn't allow their friends to bring dates, and you will embarrass them by calling them out on it.
2007-09-11 08:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋