What to expect at my friends funeral?

Question

My friend just died in a car accident. (she was only 18), and we were friends in high school... had two classes together, and listened to ipods together you know typical teenager stuff. but my question is what should i expect at her funeral this thursday. I found out that the viewing is this Thursday. ( What will happen here) & on Friday morning is the Funeral. What is the difference. What can I expect. Im just sad a nervous at the same time!

thanks in advacne

Answer 1

In reality you can never prepare for a loved ones or friends funeral, just go be yourself and know that you were there to show respect for your friend. That is all you can do.........

Answer 2

The viewing is pretty much just that, presuming her body wasn't damaged to the point that it can't be viewed, there will be the casket open with her in view. She will be well dressed, have makeup on, and not look like herself (someone else doing makeup never looks quite right)

on the way to the casket there will be a line of people. Before you get to the casket you will meet her family. They will be standing there shaking hands, getting hugs, likely crying, and hearing everyone's condolences.

Get in to line, shake the family members hands or give them hugs depending on how well you know them. If you do not know them well, then go with short but heartfelt comments, silence is awkward for you and them. Things like "I'm so sorry", "I'm sorry for your loss", and that sort of thing. After that you will be allowed to approach the casket for viewing your friend. At this point people will typically say a quiet prayer or say good bye in their own way.

The funeral the next day is typically a religious ceremony lead by the curch official (paster, minister, rabbi, whatever) where they talk about the meaning of life and death, and how the person is now with God, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and all that stuff. Sometimes friends or family will have been asked to get up and give a little speech in remembrance (called a eulogy).

I am presuming the term "viewing" means she was not cremated not physically damaged to the point that it will be a closed casket funeral. If you have never seen a dead body you may want to prepare yourself for that. Make sure you're well rested, and make sure you eat a little bit. You don't want to be full, but at the same time you don't want to get light headed and pass out either.

Answer 3

At the viewing family and friends come to the funeral home to view the body. This is the time that most people take a moment to say their "goodbyes" to the deceased, as there usually isn't time for this at the funeral. It is also a time to express your condolences to the family.

At the funeral, everyone is seated, there will be some music played, someone will speak about the deceased and usually give a sermon on life and death (if in a church). Everyone but the family leaves first. They usually start at the back of the room and have everyone walk past the body on the way out.

Be sure to bring tissues.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

At the viewing, also sometimes called a "wake", there will be family seated in a "receiving lin" of sorts. You should go over and introduce yourself and express your condolences. Somethng along the lines of, "Mrs Smith, I'm Thomas, a friend of your daughter's. She was dear to me and I'll miss her. I am so sad to learn of her death." A handshake, a quick embrace or a kiss on the cheek are all appropriate. You can view the body or not, as you choose. You can leave after a few minutes or you may stay as long as you are comfortable.. You are not expected to stay for the entire time. There may be periodic prayers, and if so, bow your head in respect. Otherwise, this event is an opportunity to convey personal condolences to the family. Since your friend was a young person and her death is so unexpected, there will be a lot of people in attendance, many displaying grief.

At the funeral, which is usually held in a church or funeral home, there will be a "service" which will consist of a series of prayers and a eulogy, which is given by family or close friends. It is a speech about the deceased extolling their virtues and sometimes reminiscing about their lives. There may be a number of people invited to speak and there may be any number of people who are offered an opportunity to express themselves publicly. It can be emotional and difficult. Unless you are invited to speak, there are no expectations of you other than that you conduct yourself with appropriate decorum. After the service, often there is a graveside service, as well. Sometimes the entire chorus of bereaved are invited to attend and sometimes, due to space limitations, only the family are expected to accompany the body for burial.

Answer 5

a viewing usually happens at the funeral home....casket set up, sometimes open, sometimes not. The family lined up before it, and you walk through the room in a line, greet and give condolences to the family, "view" the deceased, say a prayer, say good bye...whatever you are comfortable with.

the funeral is usually in a church, I've seen them done at a funeral home, or chapel too. is usually a religious services of sort, sometimes a non-religious religious services...if that makes sense....

Sometimes everyone accompanies the family to the cemetary for the burial, sometimes the family does this alone....

Sometimes families then have a gathering afterwards...food....somewhere, at the family home, at a restaurant...it all depends......

I am sorry to hear about your friend. I hope I was of some help.

Answer 6

Most people that can't make it to the funeral go to the viewing of the body. The funeral is the actual ceremony leading toward the burial or cremation. It is going to be strange bc if it is open casket, she will be beautiful as always, and it will just look like she is sleeping. One thing everyone has to face is that she isn't coming back and you just have to hold onto the memories that you had.

Answer 7

Things may vary from family to family! And they will want to honor her wishes,if she ever discussed or mentioned her funeral plans with family.
The "viewing", if I'm correct do you mean Family Hour,or some call it the "Wake".
That's for friends,co-workers,extended family,teachers,etc.to come and hug,and talk with family and give condolences to them.Different people come and go in that time.And have the opportunity to view your friend (if her family has chosen to have an open casket).Say good-bye.Sometimes they may have her favorite poem read.
At my brothers wake, they put together a photo slide.And his girlfriend said a few words.
The Funeral program is usually were everyone waits for the family to enter first,then they may sing a song,someone tell alittle about your friend and her life.Then usually they have a minister read a passage from the Bible.And people again view the your friends body for the last time.And they have flower girls and pall bearers take her body to the heart.And the family leaves out first to get in the cars and everyone else gets in their cars (if the burial site is at there church or other location. Then everyone goes to the burial site,the minister may say a few more words.After they take her casket to place it over the burial site.And everyone usually goes to the family house for refreshments,which is really to surround the family in support and gives travelors a chance to be feed and get themselves emotionally ready if they have traveled a long way off.,before they have to get back on the road.
Things may vary,by religious beliefs and as I said before family wishes!
I am sorry your friend died!It's not easy! I wanted loved ones to stay here with us! I,pray I will see them in Heaven one day!
Take care!
She was blessed to have a wonderful friend in you!

Answer 8

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. At the viewing, people come to tell the family how sorry they are and how much the person meant to them. You may stand a few minutes at the coffin to show your love and respect for the friend.
At the funeral, everyone will be seated and there will be music and prayers and a eulogy. Don't be nervous.

Answer 9

The viewing is a chance to say goodbye, and have closure. Its also where you view the body in some cases, and say your last goodbyes. It is a chance to greet family members and share happier times. The funeral is more formal, you dress in black, and dont get to do or say as much.

I suggest going to both. I have to recommend not viewing the body because it is harmful to your emotions and effects the way you remember that person from then on. I dont like my last memory of someone to be seeing them dead, but thats just me. I cant stand weddings or funerals.

Answer 10

You can expect to see lots of sad mourning faces and some may be crying and some shouting out loud. there may be lots of people there and the Pastor giving last words for the deceased. Some funerals gives a dinner gathering for all those in attendance.

Answer 11

You can expect great grief at a funeral for someone so young. If you have a framed picture, take it and set it on the table for others to see. Greet everybody. Just be there, that's all you can do. Use it as a life's lesson, especially about driving..