ADHD Diagnosis?

Question

My son has always been hyper and defiant towards me. I could handle this at home with a good ole spanking or punishment. Well, the spankings didn't work so we stopped that measure. Now the punishments don't work.
We're in the 3rd week of Kindergarten now. He has had 3 days where he had a green frog(good day). 3 days with a red frog(horrible day) and the rest have been yellow frogs (warnings/time outs). Already we have a parent/teacher conference. I'm at my wits end and had no idea what to do anymore.
We went to his doctor this morning. After extensive testing and speaking with his teachers I was told that he tested positive for both spectrums of ADHD...the inability to focus and the hyperactivity. I asked about diet changes, behavior modification.
She prescribed him Focalin. I've read up on it and it does seem a little better. It doesn't have all the side effects of Adderall or Ritalin...which I would have walked out of the office had she said Ritalin.

Also we will be attending family counseling to help him..which I think is an awesome idea.
I just can't shake the feeling that I'm a failure as a parent if I medicate my child for school! My fiance and I already decided he would only take it during school..which the doctor agreed was fine.
Any other parents with ADHD children?? How did the medication affect your child? Did you feel bad about the decision?? When I say I've tried everything from punishments to positive reinforcements but when it comes to school and attention...nothing has ever seemed to work.

Answer 1

I'm not a parent of a child with ADHD, so I realize your question is not directed towards me...However, I'm an elementary teacher, so I do have some insight to offer. The problem with the whole ADHD thing is that it's so over-diagnosed that many parents will completely disregard it as a very real diagnosis. There ARE children who have ADD or ADHD, and there ARE children who do extremely well when medicated for it. On the flip side, there are kids who don't truly have ADHD but are put on medicine, and they DON'T do well on it. It's a tough issue, and so many people feel they have to "take sides" that real information about it gets lost in the mix.

My opinion as a professional who has seen both the positive and negative results of medicating children with ADHD is that you are not inherently a bad parent if your child needs medication. Along with medication should be behavior modification both at home and at school AND research. You can't just "take a side" if you haven't done your homework. There are lots of books out there on the subject, so visit your local library and stock up.

Remember that neither the medicine nor the behavior modification will likely change the behavior/focus right away, so don't give up on any of the treatments you may try too quickly. Although I've never personally witnessed a child who has successfully done well in school simply through diet changes, it definitely wouldn't hurt to research diet and make changes in addition to other plans of action you will take.

My brother was diagnosed with ADD (not the hyperactivity) in elementary school, and he took medicine until he was in high school. His grades improved and he felt far less frustrated (because, after all, if you're frustrated, imagine how your son feels constantly getting in trouble). When he was in high school, he was able to modify his own behavior without the use of medicine to help himself focus. He did well in high school, but in college with newfound freedom and responsibility, he struggled. It's a real problem with real solutions, but it's not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis, which means there's no one-size-fits-all treatment.

Best wishes! You're not a failure as a parent if you're trying all you can to do what's best for your child. :)

Answer 2

We spent several years with our son using behavior modifications and diet changes with our son. We don't see the issues with hyperactivity and defiant behavior, but rather ADD with the inability to focus. We did decide to use meds after 2 1/2 years of no success, and chose Strattera. We liked Strattera because it was non-narcotic. The first time we gave Strattera, it worked wonders, but we had issues with extreme weight loss. The dose was changed, and now our son experiences virtually no side effects. He is a little tired at the end of the first day of the week, but a 15-20 minute nap on the way home resolves that quickly. The benefits far outweigh the side effects - there is nothing better than seeing your child cry tears of happiness at bringing home his first progress report ever with all A's! It can take a while to get the dosage correct; if you are seeing drastic side effects or no results, contact your doctor for a reevaluation. We also choose not to medicate during school holidays, weekends or summer vacation - it doesn't seem to affect the effect at all. Best of luck to you all!

Answer 3

My daughter was the same way. She was hard to deal with at school at home. She felt she had to be the boss of EVERYTHING! At first I thought it was only child syndrome..but the more it became a problem, the more concerned I was. All her teachers and the school nurse called recommending we have her tested for ADHD. I am so anti believing in such a thing, but we finally gave in and took her. They put her on Adderall. After that she was a completely different kid. Well, not completely but better. She focused on her work, she wasn't a hellion at home. I hated knowing she was medicated but if ADHD is truly a chemical imbalance and the medication helped re-balance her to bring the real her out, then I was all for it. She is now 18, she quit taking her medication a couple years ago and turned into a real pain the rear. She got pregnant, quit her job, quit school and has absolutely no patience with the baby. Her behavior from before has returned and is worse than it was. I finally made her call her doctor because i thought she had post partum blues. They put her on Zoloft and poof, the old self was back.

I too feel like a failure as a parent. We were never too strict or too lenient with her. We completely believed in spanking if the situation called for her and we didn't hesitate to take something away she really valued for acting up. We don't believe in rewarding for good grades, that should be what they want, but I do believe in punishing for bad grades. We tried not to spoil her and made her earn things she got so she would value them, but off medication it didn't matter, but on it she was just different. I am glad she is back on something else I'd probably have to kill the girl. Good luck..I feel for you, but definately him on his meds.

Answer 4

As a teacher, and a mom, I'd want to know what that 'extensive testing' included. For a proper diagnosis, it would had to have been a brain scan interpreted by a neurologist; chemical, hormonal, blood tests, etc.; nutritional evaluation by a dietician or nutritionist; and serious psychological testing and academic testing by a psychiatrist/psychologist. You need to read the book on ADD/ADHD by Dr. Frank Lawliss.
There are plenty of side effects to Focalin - serious anxiety (kids have even chewed their fingers); total loss of appetite and serious weight loss; and some feel suicidal.
If they won't allow the child back in school without being medicated, homeschool him.
And back off the 'punishment', mom. You should be using serious discipline - positive reinforcements, not going for the negative. Your son needs serious guidance and structure.

Answer 5

My son is 7 years old and was just diagnosed with ADD not ADHD this past spring. The teacher brought it to our attention that he may have ADD. Well after testing and seeing the doctor we agreed to start him on Addrerral XR 5mg (the lowest dose) and he has done great on it. Not much side effects..maybe eating a little less. When he was testing for reading in Jan. he was reading at a 9 month kindergarten level (he was in 1st grade) at the end of the school year in May (2 months on meds) he was reading at 1 year 9 month reading level...so he gained a whole year reading level in just 4 months. We feel the meds worked for him and we can def tell when it wears off. He knows as well when its working and not working and he will tell us. Its sad but in no way is it anyones fault. I always think it could be worse...he is not handicap or has some horrible incurable disease. It can be dealt with. Counseling is a good idea as well. It will give you information on how to deal with tantrums and managing moods. ADD and ADHD children need lots of praise b/c they can have very low self esteem. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

You've spanked, punished, and rewarded. You haven't mentioned getting to the root of all of it. I have 2 kids who both almost had a diagnosis of ADHD, but I wanted to look deeper into their behaviors. I had them evaluated by an Occupational Therapist who is trained in sensory integration, and giving the SIPT. They both have sensory integration dysfunction (and a host of other issues). They are also both allergic to whey protein, which is a protein in dairy products and used as a filler in other things. I'm the last to say negative things about milk, exceot for my children. Their allergy is confirmed by a few positive blood tests. If you give my son dairy, he gets a rash, and some nasty poop for a week or so. If you give my daughter dairy, she's off the wall. Hyper, impulsive, inantentive, rude, and annoying. Another cause of my daughter's behaviors is that she doesn't really feel the normal sensation of having to pee until she really has to go. The result is that she's holding her pee and acts out. If you're driving somewhere and can't pull over to pee, you're aware of how much you have to move around, you can't just sit still when you have to pee.

Regardless of your end decisions, there are a few books I live by, two of which are amazing. "The Out of Sync Child," and "The Out of Sync Child has Fun," both by Carol Stock Kranowitz. The ideas in these books are amazing, and the "sensory diet" used for my kids is very involved, and time consuming, but well worth it. There are simple school fixes for hyperactivity and not being able to focus. For my daughter, a Movin Sit cushion has increased the time she'll sit in her chair. She has picture schedules, because verbally, some things get lost. The picture schedule helps remind her what she's supposed to be doing. There are certain students she can't sit with, and she has scheduled bathroom times.

Since your son is only in kindergarten, I would use this school year to attempt to get to the root of his issues. Maybe he's really sensitive to some noises, and people moving around distracts him. Maybe his vestibular system isn't up to speed yet, and he may feel dizzy unless he's moving. There are so many things that can cause ADHD symptoms.

Answer 7

Does he have an IEP? If he does then having the prognosis of ADHD maybe the one factor serving to him preserve it. If he does no longer have any diagnoses then getting an IEP will likely be extra problematic. Why are you seeking to battle the prognosis such a lot? If you don't agree then you'll be able to write a letter inquiring for a neuropsych comparison. Chances are that the college district might no longer have anybody certified to do it after which they might ought to pay so that you can get an IEE Independent Educational Evaluation in that field.

Answer 8

i have 2 sons with a.d.d both of them are on focalin,my oldest has been on straterra,and aderall also,he is 15 ys old and was diagnosed when he was around 10,he says that focalin is the one that seems to help him the most,and he says he can feel a huge difference when he doesnt take it,now my 8 yr old, its amazing how much it has made a change in him and his performance in school,he was diagnosed in kindergarten he was constantly bringing home bad marks,and we did everything to get him to stay out of trouble also, mainly he was disruptive,could not concentrate or sit still, would sing, make noises,and just disrupt class,well we got him on the meds and he went from being at the bottom of his class to being at the top,they just gave all the kids a test and a high score is in the 100's and he scored over 300,the thing is he can now focus...i was very hesitant myself at first about "drugging" up my kid but i see the benefits...now..

Answer 9

You can't feel guilty about this. As a teacher, I have seen both aspects, and I also believe my son is ADHD. He is not on medication, but at this point, we are friends with his teachers, so she is able to work with us and him without it. This is a very difficult choice to make, and right now, you are making really the only choice available to you. Without the ability to concentrate in school, your son will fall behind, and will only get further behind as the years progress. He may eventually grow out of it, and will no longer need the medication. You are not a bad parent at all, ADHD is not something you did. And think of it this way, if he had a problem with his heart, would you feel guilty about putting him on medication for that?

Answer 10

My fiance grew up with this condition, at times I believe he still has it, constant need to fidget and move around. I talked to his parents about it and asked them how they managed him growing up. Unfortunately they had him on ritalin which in my opinion is just bad. Kids diagnosed with this condition don't need drugs, they need parents to understand what it is. In a lot of cases the kids have a different learning style that the schools can't always accomodate, although I really believe they should learn to. My fiance was in a 'special' school for most of his elementary years where they were able to keep him interested in the activities they were teaching.
Let me just say that it is in no way a direct reflection of your parenting skills, it just takes an amazing amount of patience. Be understanding of your child. When he does something that is inappropriate or is acting wildly try to explain to him that it's unacceptable using very plain terms. Use an example of things he likes. Even now with my fiance I find myself having to bring myself to his level to help him understand things. His passion is cars so I often use cars when I'm explaining how I feel or when I'm trying to get a point across. You just have to find something that your child can relate to.
Sorry, I don't know how helpful any of what I'm saying actually is. Don't blame yourself. You will just need to find a different way to identify with him.
I have not had any recent opportunities to work with a child with ADHD but I really don't think they need to be medicated.