I am so stressed out?

Question

I am under heavy stress and my mother has added to it. My 15 year old daughter and I are living with her currently. She was living with her Dad from age 10 until now. My parents pick her up from school.

Now, my mother has asked me to move out. She is basically kicking me out of the house.

My ex-husband does not want my daughter and I living on our own in an apartment. I do agree that my child should be under adult supervision.

I was thinking of reuniting with my ex-husband in the state where he is living. However, he keeps saying that I must return some jewelry that he thinks I took from his house. I do not have it and did not take it. He also keeps saying that I must change and be a different person. Everything that went wrong in our marriage was basically my fault.

I am so confused and do not know what to do.

I do not want to be responsible for anything bad happening to my daughter. Yet, living with my parents is hard also.

Answer 1

You ex husband doesn't have the right to tell you that you and your daughter cannot live in an apartment on your own. You are a big girl with an almost fully grown daughter. Time to start living your life. You don't need him or your parents to tell you what to do. Sounds like he is extremely controlling. Time to take things into your own hands.
I would not advise going back to him with an attitude like that. You divorced for a reason. You should probably stay divorced.

Answer 2

Do you have a job? Is it possible for you to make it on your own with your daughter? Why would you not want to live in your own appartment? Wait...how old are you? Are you not an adult with a 15 year old? Why is your mother kicking you out?? Does your ex-husband want to reconcile or is he offering the two of you a place to stay for a short while? Sorry for all the questions.
Sounds like you're in quite a 'pickle'. But really, there are so many single moms who are out there making it on their own. If you are concerned about your daughter having an adult around, it may be worth it for you to look into a mentor for her, which would help keep her out of trouble and teach her a few things about life at the same time.

Answer 3

You should do whats best for your daughter not yourself however in this situation i believe that you could find a compromise. She is fifteen not five and quite able to be home alone. If you trust her you shouldnt worry about her so much if you have to work late. If that is a problem perhaps you can move out but let your mother spend time with your daughter after school then you can go home to your own place.
Stuff what your ex says it is your decision your life and your daughter's you need to do what is best for both of you. Why dont you talk to your daughter about what she wants perhaps she will have some ideas. And together make a decision that will benefit both.

Answer 4

I strongly dis-agree with your ex-hubby in telling you that "YOU" must change and be a different person. It always takes two to tango. A certain relationship in order for it to work has to be give and take. One should not enjoy something at the expense of another. Both of you has to sit down, keep your cool, be humble towards each other, don't look down neither look regard your partner so high. Just an open and honest heart to heart talk with each other could be a key to solving your problems with your family.

As regarding your daughter, I do understand your concern, since as a mother, you cannot withstand seeing your daughter suffer in any form, but your daughter will be most likely the victim if you guys won't be serious in resolving your problems.

Answer 5

First of all, I assume you are in your 30's, 40's, 50's, etc.?? If you are, then it's time to grow up and move out and live with your daughter on your own. All of us have had to do that eventually. You shouldn't reunite with your ex for financial support, if that's the only reason you are doing it. If your ex doesn't want you and your daughter to live in an apartment on your own then tell him to pay for the deposit and monthly rent for renting a home. Otherwise, if an apartment is all you can settle for right now, then you should do it.

You didn't explain why your parents want you to move out of their house. They probably want you to try to make it on your own and not depend on them anymore.

It really doesn't sound like your ex wants to reunite with you because if he did, he would of forgiven you for whatever he thinks you took from the house, and he would of jumped at the chance of having you & your daughter move in with him.

You can and will make it. I assume he pays you child support. If he does, at least this will help some in the meantime while you are out on your own.

I'm a single mother with two teenager's and a pre schooler. I had to start somewhere. I started off living in an apartment and I currently live with my children in a new home, have been working for years to support my children and I really enjoy the independence and freedom from living under someone else's roof and being told what to do. It you apply persistance, perserverance, hard work and pateince, you will make it!

Answer 6

I wouldn't reunite with your husband, he sounds very controlling. If he doesn't want to take responsibility for your daughter, then he has no right to tell you where you can and cannot live. I understand that you are going through a tough time right now but it's time to stand on your own two feet and make things happen. Find a nice apartment, and cut all contact with your ex. Sounds to me all he is doing is making you feel bad about yourself and your marriage, focus on your daugheter and love her with all your heart becaue this has to be hard on her too. Good luck!

Answer 7

Hey, you need to move on...and start your own life and not be dependent on other people. Your daughter is a teenager and can thrive in a apartment...she will probably love it. Your ex-husband is your EX-HUSBAND and is in no way the person of authority to tell you what YOU need to do. Get your own place, improve yourself in someway, meet new friends and go out...CREATE THE NEW YOU!!!!

Answer 8

Good grief! Why, at your age , are you letting other people dictating how to live your life??Why are you still living under your mother's roof? It's time to assert yourself and do what is necessary. Tell your ex husband to shove that jewelry story up his butt and then get an apartment. Once there... please start making adult decisions on your own. It's time for you to step up to the plate.

Answer 9

hi, sounds like tuff times. Im 18 and have lived alone with my dad most of my life. I love it though, his a great parent and has done a good job, he is easy to talk to. it sounds like your ex is blaming you for everything, im sure your better off without him. You need to talk to your daughter. She may be young but she loves you and would still want to try and help you out.

Answer 10

wow sorry for you , but if you do not love this man do not go back for your kid sake its not worth it and you both will suffer, anyhow i know how hard it can be living under someone else's roof, so if you want to go back with yr ex than you need to be honest with him about yr feelings about how you need to work this out for your kid sake that it takes 2 people and yr willing to put yr part in this but he needs to see that there has to be more trust and communitcation in this to work out, if u cant well you will not be the first single mother to do it on yr own at the end its always worth it. down the road you will be more happy!