He is the boss and the intention is for me to take over in a few years so he can become semi-retire and work for the company on a part time basis. Problem is I am not a Yes man and I speak my mind when he asks my opinion and he doesn't like being told he is wrong ever. We have been working together now for a few years and we are starting to argue alot more than usual. Any advice would be greatly appreciated??
2007-09-11 03:50:54 · 14 answers · asked by HHHarry 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Of course you are arguing more, he is separating from his work and you are gaining a position of dominance in the company. This is completely natural. If you know your stuff, then you may not have the experience or expertise that he has but he has enough trust in you to let you take over. Make sure you are being respectful and not making him feel stupid. He does know more than you, and you need to really consider if your opinion is the correct one or if its simply that you think you know better than him. While you cannot control his behavior, you can certainly control yours. If you are right and you can back it up and explain the "and this is why" to your thinking, then stick to your guns. Your dad is probably also testing you, even if its unconsciously. You learned from the best, him, so be confident in your responses and vision for the future. Remember also that one day you will be in his place. Men are all about their work, it gives them an identity like family does for women. When you take away a man's work, even when he thinks he's ready, you leave him floundering. You will be well served to find a way to include him in a project that will carry him through retirement and give him a sense of purpose.
2007-09-11 04:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first person who answered had a good idea: to sit down and put everything in an impersonal "contract" (maybe even a FORMAL) type of agreement.
However, since you're so close, other issues may get in the way. Also, if YOU are the type of person who does not believe in being a "yes man" (I TOTALLY relate to that!), then you'll never be "acceptable" to your father, no matter how much he cares about you.
He has one work philosophy and you have another. If trying that first, contract thing doesn't work, I'd look elsewhere for work and tell your dad you're just not "compatible".
A person (like your dad) who ALWAYS refuses to listen to others is not only covering up for deep insecurity but very unlikely to change, in the way you need him to.
Worse, the stress of working w/him and fighting constantly can interfere with your father/son relationship. That's MUCH more important than any job!
2007-09-11 11:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sit down and explain the way you need things to work. If you are going to truly be running the company, then you need to be making decisions now, with him around as an adviser, telling you why you might want to make the decision a particular way. You need to develop some advisers whom you can trust to give you truth, not merely a "yes". If you can do this, then you should become successful.
Never be afraid to learn from your dad. But never be afraid to at least consider doing things a new way. In that way, you learn to make use of the best of both of your experiences, and grow into an even better employer than your dad.
2007-09-11 10:57:15 · answer #3 · answered by Larry V 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I have never worked with my family but for me I know that would hard. Just remember that he is still your boss and your father. You must always respect and honor your parents no matter what. Try not to be so bold in your answers and maybe try to change your attitude and the way you speak to him. Your Dad should feel proud though know that when he does retire that you will be able to maintain and handle the business and not let people run you over. I hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-09-11 10:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by Shelley 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do things the way he wants them done at work, but reserve some time with him away from work to tell him your ideas and opinions, you know, like over a beer or at a family BBQ. He sees the operation his way while the day goes on and thinks your opinions are a way to disrupt the daily process. So hold off on them until you're in a relaxed environment.
2007-09-11 10:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he is having a hard time retiring. You are going to have to be with him be more of the yes man or not say anything when he starts in. It is hard to give up something you have done for years and years....Try to be understanding.
2007-09-11 10:58:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
firstly, whether or not it will work out for you both, depends on both your personalities and the stresses of your jobs and how you deal with that. Both my sister and myself have worked with our mother, i had no problems but my sister and mother were at each others throats constantly. I guess at the end of the day, one of you has to be the bigger person and be the one to keep the peace, i guess it is hard to have a strong opinion and the parent not wanting to listen, but then on the flip side, it would be hard to have lived twice the years of your child and have them tell you whats what, even if they are right. My best advice is to swallow it, even if our folks drive us insane, at the end of the day, you dont have them forever
2007-09-11 10:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
his opinions must be respected and so must his position as the boss. so when the time comes to make your opinion known do it with respect, and often I find that with bosses it goes better to ask them about your opinion. like that sounds good boss or could we try this it sounds better to me. this lets them take the suggestion willingly or tell you why not. either way he still gets to be the boss and train you to take over. not you pushing him out too fast
2007-09-11 11:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by tott1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should speak what you feel. You shouldnt keep you personal feelings kept to yourself, or things can go wrong. I think you should take over from your father, thats if you liek the job you do,a nd you want to take it over. You should tell your problems with your father, as your opinion, dont make it seem like its a fact though...
2007-09-11 10:56:27 · answer #9 · answered by James D 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u sound just like me,I used to work with my dad and after about 2-3 yrs we were phisically fighting on site with each other even tho we love each other 2 bits but not long after my dad moved to a diff place when the work dried out and we are like best mates now we work apart!! Family and work rarely mix unfortunately. Hope that helps
2007-09-11 10:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋