I've been asking questions about the current girl I'm dating. some times she's all over me, telling me she's so attracted to me, she thinks i'm great, and asking me deep questions about marriage. then on the other hand she's telling me she's not ready for anything serious. I'm like OK. then yesterday she texts me something and i couldn't respond for 3 hours. she text me 3 hours later and said did i say something wrong? I said no, i was just busy. like she might be upset that i wasn't talking to her. then last night i get this long email how she's not into me as much as i'm into her (huh?), she doesn't know what she wants, she enjoys her freedom, and she just wants to be friends. I texted her this morning and said "look i have enough friends, i don't need anymore. I appreciate the offer but i don't want to be just your friend. i need a confident woman who knows what she wants" she went back and forth like a yo-yo. it drove me nuts. what the hell does she want? she seems scared.
2007-09-11 03:32:10 · 18 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
in addition this woman loved to be affectionate with me and then the next morning would back off. she would tell me nobody has a touch like mine and then get all confused and be distant. then she would text me, get upset if i didn't text her back right away, then drop a bomb email on me like she just wants to be friends. I have no idea what's going on but i told her flat out "i don't want to be your friend. I want more so good luck". I don't have time to mess around like that. she's into me...then she's not into me. Huh?
2007-09-11 03:34:22 · update #1
she is undecided, confused, wishy-washy and apparently not near ready for a committment.
take it or leave it... she would drive me nuts, tho.
2007-09-11 03:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like she may have some issues in her life that she hasnt worked out, and that is why she is so unsure about a full whole hearted relastionship with you.
I wouldnt push the issue, I would just leave it alone and leave her alone for awhile. If she is the right one for you and you for her, then she needs to figure things out on her own. She needs to get things right in her mind and soul before she can get things right with the relationship. If and when she comes back and says she is ready, it will be up to you to try again or not, but I would back off and give her a lot of time to get her feelings straightened out.
Its gonna hurt you to do this but its best for you and for her, she needs time and space and just doesnt really know what to do right now and if you keep going on with the relationship the way it is your going to get hurt in the end. Worse than you are now.
Good luck and hope you find your true love.
2007-09-11 04:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by BLUE EYED ANGEL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh My God!!!... Welcome to my world..I have been through this same thing as you with more than just one girl , the way I handle it is not to argue with them and when they say " I don't need a man in my life or I just want to be friends I just say okay even though they are driving me nuts like this one is you I let on that I really don't care..I'm not sure if it's a female chemical inbalance in the brain or a mental problem , then I get thinking this crazy crap is probably why they were single when I met them , they pulled the same crap on the guy before me and what is strange after you move on and get her out of your head months after she will contact you because she probably just got done pulling the same crap on some other guy..I know it hurts but you should move on to another girl and you will know she is the right one when you don't have to come on Yahoo asking questions about her and if she was attracted to you there are a million other girls in the world that will be attracted also and one of them won't drive you crazy...GOOD LUCK!
2007-09-11 04:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by Confused 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all I respect your stance of not tolerating her back and forth behavior.
The truth here is that she doesn't know what she wants in the long term. You are there and easy to be with when she wants to have company. That isn't fair to you, as you are obviously aware.
She is clearly attracted to you, but is unsettled in her life. She needs to understand where she is at. She is probably scared that she feels something for you. She is likely used to being in charge and guys falling for her. However, you have something that appeals to her greatly, but she is not at a place in her mind where she can give you a stable relationship. The problem is that if you are attracted to someone (as you appear to be with her), we want to give them more credit than they deserve. You have made your position to her clear, and she needs to treat you with the same maturity and respect.
I think you are doing the right thing, but I think you need to stop seeing her entirely until she can make a decision and stick with it. You are going to need to fight the chemistry by avoiding contact.
I would tell her either via phone or in an email that you care about her (I mean, don't get sappy, just be straightforward) and see something between both of you, but you are tired and not willing to play games. Tell her to contact you when she knows what she wants and is sure of it, otherwise don't bother keeping in touch. Tell her that if she does contact you again, says she wants something, then changes her mind, you will say goodbye for good. You need to be that blunt with her and stick to your convictions.
You obviously like her and want to believe, but you are going to have to be blunt and decisive. If she is given that kind of ultimatum, she will eventually make a choice and either way, you will know what you are truly dealing with. You also need to keep in mind that if this is the way she is treating you right now, she is probably indecisive in all aspects of her life and this could cause you frustration in many aspects if you enter into a relationship with her.
2007-09-11 03:49:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women looove to be chased. They dont want a man who is too proud to chase them. If you are really that into her be persistent. The next thing you know she will be like putty in your hands.
I think she is just trying to see how much you are really into her. Do you really dig her? I think you do.
Maybe she also has some trust issues. Maybe, in her past experience when a man ignored her for a couple of hours it meant he wasnt interested anymore. Sometime women make the mistake of bringing old baggage into new relationships.
So if you are that into her, call her back, be nice, sweet and tell you cant stop thinking about her. If that dont work then nothing will.
2007-09-11 03:48:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. I know this behaviour. She's in love with you. She's also majorly insecure about the whole thing. If you love her, please try and be patient. Believe it or not she's just testing you. I know, why play the games... it's not right and it's not fair. Hopefully she'll settle down with time. If you can just hang in there and remain your same, lovable, kind, understanding self, she'll hopefully regain her sanity and settle down. It's very scary for some people to be in love. It's like they're on a roller coaster ride. One minute you're soooo happy and everything is perfect and then the next you're worrying that you're going to get hurt and maybe the guy doesn't love you as much as you love him. It's insecurity and the fear of getting hurt. Simple (and as complicated) as that. Hang in there and try to keep in touch with her, it will really calm her down to know that you're there and thinking about her too!
2007-09-11 03:47:51 · answer #6 · answered by spiffy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break it to you but it sounds like you're not her "one and only".. As a woman who has found myself tore between two lovers, I acted very similar to what you are descrbing. I could be very affectionate and "in love" one moment, but then the next, I was cold and distant. My problem was I didn't know who I wanted. Or, I wanted them both. When I had been with the other guy and everything had been great between us, I was cold to the current. If things had not gone as planned, I was warm and affectionate. I went several months in love with two guys and it was tearing me apart.
So my suggestion is, set her down and have a deep heart to heart with her. This can only be done face to face not by texting back and forth. It can't be done quickly, but you can't be pushy and accusing either, or she'll never be honest. Start by telling her how confused and unsure you are about what you have. DON'T start by telling her how crazy you are about her, that'll only have her telling you what you want to hear, even if its not the truth. Just open up your heart and be honest, or she won't be honest with you.
2007-09-11 03:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by sticky nikki 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
yes she is short a few french fries of a happy meal, keep her around as long as ur enjoying the sex but also start looking for another women that u feel more comfortable with and when u find her drop this one like a hot potato.
2007-09-11 03:44:37 · answer #8 · answered by robert d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a woman with some emotional problems when it comes to commitment. Not your fault.
Move on if you are looking for a permanent gig. She may never be ready for you and you deserve more out of a relationship.
2007-09-11 03:40:31 · answer #9 · answered by Deb 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would move on, she is playing games with you. Sounds like she is on a ego trip and you will only be filling her ego by staying in contact with her.
There are better fish in the sea.
2007-09-11 03:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by bambam 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋