What color should a bride wear when she really can no longer wear white???

Question

After being told, by her lawyer, that she couldn’t use a video she found of myself and my girlfriend to bring any legal charges against me, my girlfriends mother called her and yell hurtful things at her (most of which my girlfriend actually found to be quite funny).

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnmUb15xlUBpxCpZvjfYF2Psy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070910105735AAw2n1W

Among other things, her Mom apparently yelled “well, now when you find the right guy (I love the implication here), you won’t be able to have a white wedding!” After her mom said this, my girlfriend told her that she wasn’t able to have a white wedding long before she met me and hung up the phone shortly thereafter.

While, if we ever actually get hitched, she’s going to wear whatever color dress she pleases (it’s her day after all), we both enjoy discussing absurd intellectual points and began discussing what color a woman would actually wear if she couldn’t wear white.

The Judeo-Christian tradition of wearing white is supposed to signify the fact that a woman is stepping up to the alter as a virgin “pure as the new fallen snow” (yet 99.9% of women today probably can’t make this claim and still wear white).

Men, on the other hand, make no such claim and traditionally wear a black tuxedo to signify that we are anything but “pure as the new fallen snow.”

While most women probably consider their choice of color a kind of implied white lie, there are obviously some women who simply can’t make this claim.

For example, I found it humorous that my cousin, who was widowed with two children, was wearing white for her second wedding which her kids were attending (immaculate conception?).

While every bride should be able to wear whatever she pleases, we were just wondering if there is actually any tenet within the vast unwritten Judeo-Christian rulebook governing what color a bride should wear to her wedding when she can’t wear white???

BTW: My girlfriend’s mom is an atheist and self-proclaimed feminist who shouldn’t believe in the significance of a white wedding dress anyway, since the symbolism comes from the Judeo-Christian tradition.

BTW2: As I said, I’m asking this question simply to satisfy our own intellectual curiosity, if we ever get married, she’s wearing whatever she wants.

Answer 1

I think the most important question here is: Are you going to be able to live with your future mother-in-law?

I've heard of plenty of marriages that have gone down the tubes because of in-laws. Yours sounds ridiculous. How did she get her hands on this video in the first place? Why would she want to bring legal charges against you for something that's none of her business? And why does she care about virginity and white weddings when she is an atheist? I hope at least that the two of you won't be living in the same town as Mommy Dearest. Good luck with that...

Back to the question...
Your girlfriend can wear whatever color dress she wants, although if you want something traditional but not white, there is a color called "candlelight" that is practically white, and there are also champagne colored dresses too.

Answer 2

Well, the closest thing to a Judeo-Christian guide of what color to wear after the 'damage' has been done would have to be etiquette guides of the darker ages (ie: pre-1980s). There were no laws (unless there were a few on the books in Puritan times that I'm not aware of) concerning what color ladies should wear if they possessed broken hymens.

What was usually recommended for older or second-time brides in the Victorian era and up until etiquette manuals began advising folk that the question of how much practical knowledge the bride has of sex is nobody's business but her own and that of her intended, was usually something like dove grey, mauve, or pale blue.

Of course, not everyone chose those colors. And it was a time when many a first-time bride didn't wear white, either, for reasons of economy or ethnic custom. In fact, between about 1830 and 1870, the single most popular color for wedding gowns in the American West was plaid. It was a popular pattern, easy to come by, and wore far better than white in an area where one wore one's wedding gown until it fell to rags, and then turned the bits of it into children's clothes or quilt squares.

Also, Scandinavian and Germanic brides from the lower economic and societal rungs traditionally wore black, virgin or no.

And when my not-so-innocent mother married in 1958, she wore scarlet from head to toe...including her stockings.

But when this atheistic feminist married at age thirty, well, I wore a soft white trimmed with silver gray lace and little scarlet dancing shoes peeking out from under the hem.

Answer 3

Wearing white at a wedding is not a religious tradition that symbolizes purity or virginity. This is a huge misconception. The tradition of a white wedding is commonly credited to Queen Victoria's choice to wear a white wedding dress at her wedding to Prince Albert. White was such an impractical color for non-royalty because they would not be able to wear it again and again. A white dress came to represent wealth, as most people could not afford a dress they would only wear once. Any connections between wearing white and being pure came much later and they aren't the reason white became popular for weddings.
So, no one can or cannot wear white. Every bride has the right to wear whatever color she wishes, white or other.

Answer 4

Women now a days wear what ever color they want. Women who have been married with kids and on their 2nd marriage wears white now. I think it's good because it's like starting off the marriage pure not just the person. If she didn't want to wear white because of what ever reason then she could wear ivory or a cream color. Which you'll have to look really good to see that it's not pure white. Sometimes those colors can be prettier in the right setting. Yeah I do agree with you guys though. Wear whatever color you want. It's your wedding and it's the start of your marriage.

Answer 5

White

Answer 6

I can not remember the title of the movie now, but it was about an older bride, and she was getting married in dark purple, and the comment was made that it represented her depression. Funny movie, I'll have to try to look it up.

There is no perfect runner up color for a bride. Those that are stuck on virginity aren't going to say, "it's ok if you have sex, but you just have to wear this color dress instead." They are just going to get mad and not offer any more opinions.

My friends is in her early 20's and getting married. One of the Brides maids is extremely religious, and when we were out looking for dress, she pulled the bride aside and says "You can't wear white, cause... you know... Do you want me to ask the lady to pick out different colors?" She was being dead serious. haha the bride was very understanding and told her friend that they were not having a traditional wedding, so she was going to wear white anyway. Gave the rest of us a nice little laugh later.

Answer 7

Contrary to what you've been told, women didn't start wearing white wedding dresses to signify purity. Queen Victoria wore a white dress and everyone jumped on the bandwagon. It's simply a trend. While white often does signify purity and innocence, that's not how white wedding dresses became so popular. Prior to Queen Victoria, women wore wedding dresses in a rainbow of colors (and their bridesmaids actually wore the exact same dress, too).

Although white wedding gowns are the most common, wedding dresses are often frequently found in ivory, gold, pink, blue, lilac and red. If your girlfriend opts out of wearing white, she'll certainly be able to find something in another color that suits her.

Answer 8

Color is extremely popular in wedding gowns. Not just white or ivory with color but completely "colored" dresses. In this instance, a red velvet dress would make a wonderful statement.

Edit: and LOLA is right, white never actually symbolized virginity. But the symbolism of white now a days is more about a "new life" than being a virgin. Probably 90% of brides couldn't have a "White wedding" if it was about virginity!

Answer 9

I seriously doubt that the majority of brides who wear white are actually "traditionally" qualified to wear white! I think for those who truly believe you shouldn't wear white unless you're a virgin, they say that cream is the allowed colour. However, my friend wore a very light pink dress for her wedding and I think you could wear any colour you wanted! But for religious people who only wear white "when appropriate" in a wedding, off-white or cream is the alternate colour from my understanding...

Answer 10

I cant really accept your question, because I think every bride SHOULD wear white! Its beautiful, its bright, its clean. Its 2007; white has much less to do with virginity than it does with culture. Im not using that as an excuse to wear white when I wasnt a virgin; white wedding dresses truly are woven into the fabric of our shared culture, nevermind whats its roots are.
Some brides are wearing red, pink, black, whatever, I guess that is their choice. But they dont do it because they "cant wear white".