People have been acting rude and disrespectful to me?

Question

what i don't understand is why when someone is depressed do people act like they can fix them. i spoke to a counselor and she said that the people in my lives are the ones who are making my depression worse becuase we don't share the same values.

im not sure how to better myself so i can move on with my life. im adopted and people have been looking at me weird.

Answer 1

I think that we live in a time when rudeness and disrespect is tolerated more than has been in decades--or may in centuries. You can blame the way people are brought up or the way rude people are portrayed in the media--as being funny or "in charge" type people--but that doesn't help a person deal with it.

I don't want to minimize your situation. Please know, however, that even among people who are related by blood and life-long contact, there can be (and are--believe me!) clashes of values and behavior. I've tried to raise my kids to be polite and respectful towards everyone, but a couple of them just weren't going to be that way. One has a reason (he's got a personality disorder), and one is just a son of a gun! and doesn't want to change.

To keep myself from becoming (more) depressed from living with their loutish ways, I make sure that I have interests to keep my mind off of them and that I make the effort to notice things around me that I do like. In my case that's often something in nature, but at other times of my life it was art and there has always been music, too.

Set your mind on the person YOU want to be. That's the person you are responsible for.

And remember--you are not alone in feeling out of sync with those around you. There are long periods of your life when that's the normal way to feel, really. It means that you're growing and that you are an independent person.

Answer 2

Hello... i'm sorry to hear you are suffering from depression. I'm no stranger to depression, either.

Your counselor may have a point about other people in your life "making your depression worse" however, your counselor is SUPPOSED to be there to help you develop coping skills... has he/she done that at all?

The people in your life may be detrimental, but in the meantime, you really need to do whatever it is to help yourself, despite others.

Hon the only person who can truly "fix" you is YOU. Counselors are there to give us help and direction and and advice on things to do in order for us to move onward and upward. Is your counselor doing this? If not, maybe you could find a new one?

Sometimes medications help. If you are taking one, and it's not helping, let the doctor know now. We are all different and every medication doesn't help every person.

Our depression can stem from our situation but it can also be cause by a chemical imbalance.

You can find more information by doing a yahoo search -- DEPRESSION SELF-HELP, and COPING WITH DEPRESSION are two searches i suggest. Lots of helpful information on the internet.

You might also look for MENTAL HEALTH FORUMS. These are communities of people with mental health issues, so you'd be involved with your peers. These are supportive people who have the same problems as you... and you might get some good suggestions and even make a new friend or two.

I sure hope it works out...

Also, being adopted isn't "weird"... it's NOT your fault you were adopted, and there is not one thing wrong with being adopted. Lots of people are adopted!

sending hugs

Answer 3

It is depressing when you don't have any friends who share the same values. Keep looking; they are out there looking for you too. Have any hobbies you are interested in? Take some classes in something you like or think you would enjoy. You will meet like-minded people.

And being adopted, think about it. That means somebody CHOSE you!

Your counselor is not blaming others but merely stating a fact. It is a sign that you need to do something different, is all. It is not their fault, but you do need to find some friends who feel a lot like you do; not everyone will feel exactly the same however. Just the main points in life are those we have to have agreement on. There are as well, many rude and disrespectful people nowadays. It seems that socity in general has lot its manners; and many, many people feel that way. It is a common complaint.

Get out there and start meeting others. You will!

Answer 4

I think it is in human nature to try to help people. Most people have good intentions. The only way that I know of to meet people that share your values is to go out and find them. Network, volunteer, participate in various activities, etc.
It takes a lot of effort and you need to be motivated enough to do it. It is harder when you are depressed because it's the last thing you want to do, I'm sure. But it's the thing that will help you the most. What do you enjoy? What are your hobbies and interests? Have you tried focusing more on what you can do for others? It's clique to be sure it makes me happy when I am helping others. I love the volunteer work I do. I want to do more and will. Right now it's tough with work, school, and family. I do what I can without feeling like I'm killling myself. I have so many interests and hobbies. I love life. I do get depressed but the busier I stay, the happier I am.

Answer 5

I don't know how old you are, but if you are old enough to spend time on your own or move out then perhaps that's what you should do. I know people sometimes unconsciously push what they think on other people and if you know/feel that you have different values from the people in your life being on your own and finding some friends who share your beliefs would be a good thing.

It doesn't mean you have to completely cut your family out of your life but it is important that you spend time on your own to develop who you really are and nurturing yourself will make you feel better. Its hard enough growing up, but growing up without any support because you are different from your family can be really tough - I know. It can really annoy people to have the fact that they are trying to force something on you pointed out, and sometimes they just won't understand, but everyone can understand and respect that a person, especially a young growing person, needs time to themselves to think about things and perhaps work on something they feel is valuable.

Ignore how people look at you, or ask if you have something in your teeth, is your fly open, is your shirt on backwards, shoes on the right feet, a bugger in your nose, ect every time they do it, eventually they'll get the message. I did that most of highschool and pretty much every day had to ask the same person "am I dressed correctly?" eventually it turned into a huge joke. Most likely you aren't doing anything wierd or wrong, those people just have a problem and you are sensitive to their staring/glares and it's freaking you out - no big deal it has nothing to do with you that they have a problem.

The best thing you can do to better your life is pay attention to what makes you feel good because the ability to enjoy stays with us the rest of our lives - there are some responsiblities with that thou. Some things feel good but aren't, like being rude, or making fun of people, or hurting others or doing drugs- you don't have to worry about those things thou, just be yourself.

Good luck.

Oh, and - until you decide for yourself who you are don't let anyone else tell you! I used to be "depressed" until I figured out that word just meant "confused by other people telling me what to be, do, think, and feel" and I took three months to decompress and figure out what the truth was for myself. The BEST thing I ever did and I'm glad I did it when I was 16.

Answer 6

But you have choosen to come on Y/A with a question.Which hundreds of people will respond.

To ask for advice, you're asking for a form of "fix". Or are you asking for us to "fix" all the people who are trying to "fix" you.

Is the word adapted - to make or become suitable for a new use or situation
Or adopted- people who are non birth parents who legally are awarded rights as parents
You are inviting too many peoples opinion in your mind.
I can sit here and tell you ,you are a special person! That's only a compliment for you!
It takes you knowing you are "special".And believing it,no matter what!
God's the ultimate fixer,try Him!
You take care!

Answer 7

If you are suffering from depression, you need medication to help you pull out of it so you can lead a normal life. See your doctor or go to a psychiatrist.
Adopted people are just like any others. The main difference is that you were CHOSEN by your adoptive parents. That is a good thing. Celebrate the fact that you are special.

Answer 8

Well i share that with you as well i am adopted. not to sound rude at all but they are going to treat you different, bucause they probably dont know your parents back ground, and dont want to hurt you. Also it isnt just them i promise.you may not want to hear this but it was something that i had to get over too. Because of the fact that you are adopted you yourself feel like a outcast, and you constantly wonder if you good enough. you feel like you dont matter but you do. All i can say to help is love the ones who adopted you and have a open relationship with them. you dont always have to agree with them, however you should respect them, for all they have done for you .

Answer 9

Sweetie...you are ALLOWING people to make you feel this way. The counselor you spoke to is probably correct. Let me tell you a little story. It's a very personal story and people on here might look down their noses at me, but you know what??? I don't care, because NOBODY knows what another person goes through or the circumstances that lead to events in our lives, but us. They can be alone in their misery, but I refuse to let them take me to their level.

Here is my story. Some years ago I was working for an entertainer in the Country music industry. I broke my foot and eventually became addicted to pain pills. I was never one to think I would EVER become addicted to anything. I even went to prison because I was forging prescriptions to get the medication that I was addicted to. I spent 3 years in prison for doing what I did. There I was, once a well respected member of society, with a nursing degree and a Bachelors degree in music...fresh out of prison. I had allowed these things to happen in my life, but it made me a much stronger person. When I first got home people looked down at me, thinking they were better than me. I've shown them over time that they aren't. Floored a few of them. NOBODY is any better than another person...NOBODY. It's just the false impression they have of themselves. I don't care WHAT you've been through in your life, NOBODY is better than you are. BELIEVE THAT! NOBODY. Don't allow them to belittle you or make you feel bad. The guy that picks up the trash is JUST as important and his job is just as important as a heart surgeon. You are going to be fine. Watch Joel Osteen. You can go to this link and listen free to some of his positive speeches about humans and their needs. All the best....personally I think you're terrific!!!!!!

http://joelosteen.lakewood.cc/site/PageServer?pagename=JOM_homepage

Answer 10

Follow Seehaze J's advice. You definitely need a new counselor. Seems to me you are having serious issues with self-esteem that distorts your perception of self and the world around you. In the meantime while you are searching for a new counselor click my webpages below to learn about improving your emotional health. Also check out my blog to see ways of improving your thoughts through positive self-talk.