One time when we were off he dated and slept wiht someone else and threw it in my face. Him and her tried to remain friends but everytime I found out, and him and I were working things out I would break up with him.
He tells me now he doesn't want anything to do with her. He wishes he never met her. I threw her up in his face alot and he was getting sick of it.
He Told me if I cant trust him we shouldnt try. But I love him so much he is my best friend.
I take my insecurities to him - all my "what if" and he gets so irritated.
I am getting on his nerves asking questions if he has talked to her, etc etc.
Why can't I stop? He told me if it does not stop he is leaving.
2007-09-11 01:57:35 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you my son's girlfriend? Same story! I tell her that by her coming to him with all of it and being so insecure about him and the relationship, it will only drive him away further. I tell her to bite her tongue or call a friend when she has issues. Trust him until he gives you reason not to. If he wants to be with this other girl, you won't stop it no matter how many times you talk to him about it. He will do it if he wants to. You nagging him and being clingy/needy will only make him want to break free. He has already warned you that if it doesn't stop he will leave. That means even though you are driving him nuts and making him angry he is still hanging in there with you. That should make you feel a little more secure. BUT, if you keep being this way he is going to go because it will just be too much to handle. Show him you trust him. Be more secure and confident with yourself. Let him see a strong woman who isn't so insecure that she is driving away her boyfriend. Give him the wtfc (who the fk cares)attitude and watch him be amazed. Remember, no man wants to feel cornered or not trusted. You are driving him away. If you forget everything I have written...remember this one thing for sure. If his heart is somewhere else or he wants to do something so badly, he will do it, no matter what you say or do to him. Being the way you are is having an adverse affect on him....instead of giving you reasurance like you want, you are pushing him away. Good luck.
2007-09-11 02:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has broken ur trust so what does he expect from u. ask him if the shoe was on the other foot how would he deal with it??
it just shows u that as soon as use are over for a wile he doesnt sit back and think about things he goes out and sleeps with someone else!
i have been in ur position before. the only thing i can say to u is that no matter what u wil never be able to stop throwin things up at him, this is what ended my ex and i., because i knew i could never get over it, and no matter what little petty argument we had that was the only thing i could get at him with. in the end i think he got so fed up with it that he could have cheated on me again, and i dont blame him for that as thats what i was more or less accusin him off anyways!
u know.
u have 2 choices.
u can try, and i mean TRY which will be so hard i know, to learn to trust him again. if this means that much to u then thats what ur goin to have to do. but be weary if he done it once then theres nothin to say he cant do it again, and this wil always b in the back of ur mind. some night he goes out with his mates, or somethin..
or
u can let all of it go. as it isnt healthy for u or him to go on like this. trust is one of the main things that keeps a relationship together, and believe me if u aint got this then its not worth holding on for.
u might be doin each other a big favour doin this. in time, u might make him realise how much u mean to him, if u give him some time apart, and he might surprise u and come begging for u to come back. time is a great healer but time also gives people a good time to think.
its ur choice. personally i went with the 2nd one, and yes he came back to me, after i gave him time to think about how stupid he was, we lasted another wile but we parted for a totally different reason after that.
what ever u decide good luck.
xxxx
2007-09-11 02:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys were REALLY 'off' for a while, then he wasn't cheating. He was seeing someone else. You could have easily done the same thing. Now, if 'off' means 5 days, then I think that's a different story.
If you were broken up, then you have to let that go. I can understand you not wanting him to see her, but I can't understand throwing it up in his face.
I can see how he would get sick of hearing that. Just stop doing it. It's pretty simple. If you trust him and you've never known him to cheat on you (this would be when you were seeing each other), then get over it. If you can't, then let him go because eventually he'll get tired of being hounded about something that is in the past.
2007-09-11 02:04:47 · answer #3 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What sounds like a good relationship to you has turned into a troublesome issue filled with obsession, insecurities, and paranoia. It is not healthy for either of you especially for you. To me he sounds abusive, untrustworthy and has a complete lack of morals. Abuse isn't always physical, but on a emotional level can be very harmful lead into depression and really mess up your life. Guys sometimes believe that they have the right to control their female partner in any way necessary, that they possess their partner, that they should demand intimacy, or that they may lose respect if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends. It's very sad and I pray you can find the strengh to get your self-esteem back up and stand up to him and tell him his behavior is not acceptable. The only person who can help you is YOU... and the first step is admitting this is a problem in the relationship and that you are too good for this nonsense.
In other words tell him to GROW UP!
2007-09-11 02:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by wnxcinderss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's completely unfair for someone to NOT want to deal with your insecurities when they are responsible for much of it. Let's face it, if he cheated on you and he is trully sorry, he needs to be putting up with any crap for having cheated. He f#4cked up big time, and it seems that he may be using your insecurity as an insurance to keep you there. I am not saying you need to keep him out of your life, but he needs to understand that there are consequenses to his actions, and listening to your complaints of insecurity (specially since he's still snooping around the other woman) is just part of living with a mistake he made. Now, two, three years down the road, if the guy is truly committed, there are no signs of cheating, and you feel that he's truly in love with you, then he shouldn't put up with your complaints, but not now. Sometimes, forgiving is by far the hardest part of loving someone.
Good luck,
Gary
2007-09-11 02:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by Gary R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either have to trust him completely and with that stop questioning him were he's been and with who, and just belive that he's commited to you and the relationship. OR just relize you can not truly ever trust him agian and give up. Sounds mean but you can't say you love someone and then throw something in their face repeatedly. No he only slept with someone when you guys were broken up so he's been faithful, it may still hurt just becasue you still wanted to be togther, am not sure why you have taken so many breaks but am sure there good reasons to you, but you can not hold that agianst him.
2007-09-11 02:08:09 · answer #6 · answered by pen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering why you are bothering to stay with him at all. Just because you love him doesn't mean you are the right match.
Usually after two to three years of dating, a mature couple knows if it's going somewhere. Seven is much too long...
2007-09-11 02:03:39 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez, your english is HORRIBLE. Go back to school instead of worrying about some guy. Get your priorities straight. School. A good education. A good job. Your own house. A cool vehicle. Nice clothes......then find a man.
2007-09-11 02:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by holeeycow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe its time to move on. If you cannot move on with the issues and keep raising them, then you probably haven't dealt with it at all. So you have two choices:
1. Deal with the issue properly and live happily ever after together
2. Choose to move on and live happily ever after apart.
2007-09-11 02:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you how often? I wouldn't trust the bastard either. Go to someone else who will treat you right, with respect and GIVE you a reason to trust them, not try to bribe you into trusting them.
2007-09-11 02:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋