left me alone in a new state at 16, chasing a man, never attended my 3 graduations, never came to my babyshower, let other family members kick me out her house because my boyfriend yelled at them for yelling at me, i told her i want to go finish school and want to save, she let me use her car to go to school, then took it when she found i gave my cousin a ride too, to the same school, who lived on my block and never asked for gas, when she got mad that i wouldnt charge family for a ride, she began to charge me for me, my daughter, my fiance and my dog to sleep in the empty room where her cat slept, when we couldnt afford it, she kicked us all out, she lied and destroyed my name with my fam to make it seem like she only asked for a little bit and we refused. she always favors my sister and all her kids but will charge me for my daughter to come over her house. she failed a drug test and lost her job and told me i can just pay her to keep my daughter for the hour she comes after school.
2007-09-11 01:57:04 · 9 answers · asked by badbitty101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i knew i couldnt afford 400 a month for my 9 year old to watch tv at grandmas for 1 hour so i asked my dad to do it and he said of coarse. he knows i am trying to pay for my own wedding and said its the least he can do. i told her, she got mad and the whole family is calling me asking what i did to her. she is telling them that i am a no good daughter and why dont i take care of her but we dont talk, we are very different and if i met her on the street i wouldnt want to befriend her at all. she has a husband and is capable of getting another job and since i have my own family, i cannot take her on as an expense. she lied and told the family that she lost her job because the doctors wont let her work instead of the truth about failing the drug test now they think i am so wrong. what doctor says u cant work cuz of asthma you had all your life. she doesnt want to work, she wants to milk me because i work hard for mine and i am soo sick of this cycle with her. i do fine without her. WTF?
2007-09-11 02:02:33 · update #1
my daughter asks me all the time why she cant go to grandmas when her cousins stay for the weekend and why is grandma always mean to me, i can easily answer these quest. but it hurts me to even hear her ask and i refuse to talk badly but her dad is outraged because him and his family have taken care of me for the last 11 years and i think that hurts my mom but she left me and his mom took over. she always calls me ms rightous like that so bad. she was mad because i asked her why does she cheat on her husband that is a good man and provides for her. she says when did you get all rightous, you dont know anything. well i do know i wont cheat on my husband so maybe thats why we waited so long because i couldnt make that promise being so young but i can now and we are getting married.
2007-09-11 02:15:29 · update #2
YES! it's called "toxic family". i had to and my life got much better. she throws u a rope to help u and then she uses it to hang u.
you're going to have to choose ur family. i did. no regrets. less pain. my counselor told "me bad people don't make good parents." there's no hope for her. so sorry.
parents need to remember that one day their child will be the one picking out their nursing home. one day ur mother will be the child.
best wishes.
2007-09-11 02:26:06 · answer #1 · answered by (!)listen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have more issues than can be answered here. In a nutshell, your mother is toxic. Distance yourself and your family. Get some family counseling, you seriously need it. That will give you the tools to learn to cope with the fallout of this toxic relationship and to let go of the past. Start protecting your kids by not getting them involved with this drama. Good luck.
2007-09-11 09:40:44 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life, let go of the past. Your family sounds a lot like mine. They want something from you when your up, and they want to kick you when you are down. I only have contact with my siblings at funerals, or if we bump into each other by accident. It's easier that way. You just need to hold your head up high, and move on with your life, take care of your child, teach her to be proud, and helpful to other people.
2007-09-11 09:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by misskitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like mama has a substance abuse problem. Until she gets help and cleans up, this behavior will continue and probably get worse. It's best that you stay away from her and do your best to make a life on your own. Sounds like you might have to depend on Dad for awhile? Do everything you can do to make your life work and look for help from your higher power. Al-anon is a great meeting for you to go to.
2007-09-11 09:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family is causing you that much stress, and clearly they are, I would definately back off. Your health and your daughter's health is at stake and you are responsible for your daughter. It sounds like like your father is the better one to be around. Don't worry about what the rest of the family say. It is your life and your daughter's life and kids grow up quick.
2007-09-11 09:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by Deb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for the situation you are in, some time away from it all would be best. Just distance yourself bit by bit, but don't distance yourself from those you like to be with, as family can get weird about funny little things. Just remember you might need them in the future.
2007-09-11 09:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by zeon2b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep doing you. don't let her bring you down. Misery loves company and she is living proof of it. I have issues with my family also, and I used to let it get the best of me. I had to learn to stop focusing on them and worry about me. ANd that's what you need to do.
Focus on you, your daughter and your fiance and getting ready for one of the happisest days of your life (your wedding). When people treat you bad, don't get angry and dont try to get even..... just keep getting better... it hurts them more. Because as long as they feel you need them, they'll treat you like shyt. Just Keep moving forward. One day she'll have to answer for every wrong thing she's ever done to you in your life.
Just never stop loving her because she is still your mother..... Just gotta love her from a distance.
Best of luck to you hone, It will get better. Trust me
2007-09-11 09:14:20 · answer #7 · answered by thick & beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiw rediculous!!! i think that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard of!!! that is ur family that should't be dissing you like that!!! well i have a family problem too but not like that!!! My problem is different but basic situation is the same I gave up on them long ago i Just didn't have the patitance or gut to deal with them anymore, maybe you should do the same
2007-09-11 09:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Madi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh....yes.
2007-09-11 09:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by tellme.lies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋