Why does my 15 yr old boy spend so much time in his room?

Question

He plays xbox and talks with his buds. I miss my son. His dad and I try to get him to "come on down", but he seems happy to scowl around and stay away from us. Uh, recently I found some porn under his mattress when I was changing linens. I threw em away and did not say anything to him.

I have 2 grown daughters. This is my youngest child and my ONLY son!!!

Took me forever to learn how to "play trucks".!

Answer 1

lol... You should have just left them - He can probably get more and I save the snooping for bigger battles.

It's pretty normal - we have 15 and 17 year old sons and they would only come out for food, water, and money if we'd let them. They also have about 3 game systems, a computer, cable, phone, etc. They pretty much have all of the stuff they love in there.

My 17 year old is getting better about hanging out and talking, so I do believe that they kind of grow out of it. We also (about once a week or so) have a 'forced' family thing. Whatever it happens to be, they have to participate. They end up liking it once we get them out of there. :)

Don't worry - sounds normal to me.

Answer 2

He's just being a teenager. Did you want to hang out with your parents at 15? I had great parents and it's the last hing I would have done.

As for the porn mag, in my opinion you shouldn't have thrown it away and not spoken to him. it's a violation of his privacy. His room is the only place he has to escape and feel completely secure. It's NORMAL for teenage boys to be interested in girls/sex and the like. If it freaks you out, have his dad talk to him about it. Knowing that you found it (which I'm sure he does if it's suddenly missing) would be so embarrasing for him.
Give him the respect he deserves. it's not like you found drugs in his room, it's just a magazine and something every other kid is probably doing too.

Answer 3

I have a 14 year old and it's the same thing!!

They are just at an age where it's not cool to hang with the parents anymore... unless they want something. I can always tell when he wants something because he starts hanging out with me and his father longer than normal. Usually money or a new pair of sneakers or something like that.

We make it a point to go on family trips as often as possible, as to where he has no choice but to spend time with us. He usually complains as first, but once we are out he enjoys himself. We just got back from camping and got to spend some good quality time with him and caught up with what's going on in his life. He opens up to us when we are away from home.

Also, make dinner time, "family time". Discuss the days events on a daily basis and that will keep the lines of communication open.

As for the porn, you did good by disposing of it and just not saying anything. Boys will be boys and they are curious at that age. But I wouldn't want it in the house either.

I am right there with you, though. We just do what we can keep him as open with us as possible and we're doing okay, I think!?

Answer 4

Well, I think that this is normal 15 year old behavior. I understand that you miss him. You know, it is a sad fact that children break away - it kind of sucks after you put so much into raising them. Porn - if it was a girly magazine - I wouldn't worry. If it was any other kind - I would be alarmed. Maybe try to do something with him that he likes - whatever it is. Rock climbing, taking a hike, camping, something to get you at least alone to communicate with him. Just to make sure he is still okay and just finding his independance.

Answer 5

Hi... kids at your son's age find their social lives very important and their friends are who they associate with the most. I spent a lot of time in my room as a teenager, too. So did my two sons.... (they are grown now, and perfectly fine).

Looking at porn is normal for a guy of most any age... hormones. It's not something to shame them about, really. Just let it go.....

Your son will change as he matures and grows, and he will likely come back around from time to time! give him space, but also, expect him to be responsible while you are at it.

it won't hurt him to help you around the house and participate in family events once in a while.

take care !

Answer 6

Sounds like he's just being a teenager, so let it be. When I was his age, I liked to sit in my room listening to Pink Floyd with the lights turned off! He's just being a teenager, so let him be. If you make a big deal out of it, he'll only want to do those things more and spend less time with you. In time, he'll warm up to you again, just let him be.

As for the porn, most men I know looked admit to looking at porn magazines when they were in high school, and sometimes before, and none of them are criminals, in prison, mentally ill, or whatever other fear you have of them becoming. It's a normal thing, and making a big deal out of it only causes problems. Let things be and he should be OK.

Answer 7

He's a 15 year old BOY. Probably masturbating, probably just playing the X Box. 15 year olds in general think their parents are horrible creatures, that can't understand anything. Keep a check on him, but just accept your cuddly little boy is gone for a few years.

Answer 8

Well your son is a teenager and he is spreading his wings. I think that the best thing to do is to talk to him about the things he is interested in even if it is just the silly X box. The best way to get a response from anyone is to talk about their interests. And mom, why throw away the porn???? What is the harm? Sex is natural and he should not feel shame about wanting to look at the naked people...If it was really weird porn then I would try bringing that up in a conversation .

Answer 9

Why is it so hard for people to remember what it was like growing up? What does your husband say about this?
Listen...he is a 15 year old boy. He is lacking confidence to talk with girls and maybe thinks he can't even get the "girl he likes"!
His hormones are raging and he is getting close to hitting his peak sexually. Let him have the magazines! hell get him some DVD's or videos.
Keep telling him he is handsome....and shouldn't be afraid of talking to girls. The worst they will do is say "no". But they can't say "yes" if you don't ask them.

Answer 10

He's at that age where he doesn't particularly care about hanging out with his mom. It's normal, he a teenager, and probably an as$. He'll grow out of it.

P.S. i agree with the others, his bedroom is probably the only place he can masturbate in private without HIS MOM hanging all over his shoulders. He's curious, let him discover his body.