she done us a favour when we were on holiday,she worked in the caravan park in the shop,she picked up a few things from town for us and we paid her well.she had his mobile number to let us know when shed got our stuff.weve been home a month now and she rang him last week asking some question about a toy we had given to her little girl(well thats what he says she rang for)and he asked what work she was doing now the season is over,she said shed have to claim dole as there is no work and he said hed send her 20 pounds,he then asked me if i thought that was ok and i said well no not really,he said well she did do us a favour and i said we paid her for that,but said for him to do what he thinks is right.Hes said nothing and when i ask if hes sent it he said no not yet,but i think he probably has.Usually i do all the posting of letters i joke im like his p.a. so i find this suspicious.shes only in her twenties,im older.
2007-09-11 01:15:37 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry sweetie but I would be sus about this. Not sure what to do except talk to your husband and ask him outright if he had any ulterior motive about keeping the contact going with her. Good luck
2007-09-11 01:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does your husband think he has to send her money. She did you favours and you paid her well. End of story. I would put my foot down now and tell him no way is he to send her money ever. I think the phone call re the toy is an excuse, perhaps she sees your husband as a 'soft touch'. He needs to stop all contact with her as £20 now could be £100 in the future. Your husband needs to ask himself how he would feel if the same situation were reversed. Would he be happy for you to send money to a relatively complete male stranger. I think not.
2007-09-11 01:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He didn't have to ask you about it at all but he did. Give him that credit and secondly you did tell him to do what he 'felt' was right. Sounds just like he has a big heart. It's only 20 pounds...let this go. He told you he didn't send it right? Believe him...it'll come out later if he lied. I'm sure he's telling you the truth. Let this go...for your sake. Final note: jealously kills a relationship. Communication is the key to a great marriage. I wish you the best.
2007-09-11 01:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by OMGiamgoingNUTS 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see one of four things here.
1, She is taking advantage of your previous generosity and trying to speeze a little more out of you.
2, She is on a mission to take as much from you as possible seeing as you showed before how gullible you are.
3, There was some mild flirting going on and he thinks there is either chance of something on a later date or just like the attention he's getting from a young girl. (the latter being not so bad i guess)
4, Something happend you don't know about, more than a flirt, maybe a kiss, maybe more and now he's worried she's not going to keep quiet.
The fact she rang HIM and it was regarding some stupid reason leads me to believe it was no 3 or 4, maybe they just flirted a little and she's now taking advantage of the situation.
The problem is you can't start making allegations about anything with no proof, it will start you on s lipperly slope of no trust, arguments, etc.
I would say to him that it's the one and only time you will accept him sending her money, and say it with conviction so he knows your serious.
If he does it again then you have reason to challenge him, and then there's definately something to kick off about, lying to you, going against your wishes, keeping something secret, etc.
Tell him you want you both to end any contact with her, change his number or at least ignore her calls as there is no need to be in touch in the future.
If he carries on then that should be enough for you to know that all is not well.
2007-09-11 01:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh dear, this sounds very sus - it is not ok for your husband to be sending money to a young women. He shouldn't even have her phone number. Be honest, give your husband a chance with this one - state you have had time to think about this situation. Say it makes you feel uncomfortable him sending money to her or to contact her. Tell him sending money will encourage her to expect more money. It is not appropriate. Ask him to delete her phone number and perhaps get a new sim card for his phone. If he refuses to do these things explain it will make you feel suspicious about the situation. I think that honestly in this situation is the best way forward. You actually dont have to be nice all the time, your husband may be totally innocent of any wrong doing, but may just be a little gullible. Good luck, kind thoughts x
2007-09-11 01:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by candy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sorry to say this to you but is your husband usually so soft? I can see paying the girl for services rendered whilst you were on your hols and she was actually doing something in return for the money but paying her still when you've got no connection with her anymore? You have to ask yourself why is he continuing to do it? Is he a soft touch generally speaking, in which case deleting any number from your phone memory and then avoiding all calls from her number for a few days should give her the hint to push off. OR why does he feel so guilty? Sorry to raise this point but what hold does she have over him that would make him want to give her money for nothing?
And if he's handing out money for nothing, I can e-mail you my address!
2007-09-11 01:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
only you know your husband....as far as i am concerned he may just be a kind hearted man who is having his heart strings pulled by a woman with a child who is pleading poverty. Sometimes we all do irrational things because we think it is the right thing to do...but that doesn't mean he has done anything wrong.
Maybe you should point out to him that if she can afford to call his mobile from abroad then she is not in as much need for money as she is making out.
2007-09-11 01:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put you're foot down. You are his wife and that is crossing a line. On both sides.
May sound harsh but i'd call her and politely tell her not to call your husband again, because he doesnt need the stress and worry. Explain how it could look to other people and if she should need to contact him for any reason she should call you.
Then tell him to delete her number. This is perfectly reasonable and your husband and this woman probably iknow deep down that its not on. She's clearly taking advantage of you both.
2007-09-11 01:47:34 · answer #8 · answered by Tartan Duck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she's preying upon his good heart, looking for more money. I don't think he's shady, quite the opposite. I think he feels sorry for these poor people & may be taken advantage of. Why would he ASK you what you thought if it was more than that? Short answer, he may be getting suckered by a sad story, but he is not a heel.
2007-09-11 01:25:12 · answer #9 · answered by Angela J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He could just be helping her out. If the calls continue and things like that, then you should worry about it. As of right now though, there is not too much to worry about. She should not have called, but she did, and he is trying to help her out some. As long as this is the last time, then let this one go. If it continues, then put a stop to it. Most men would not have even asked if it was alright to do.
2007-09-11 01:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋