Will God forgive me if I choose to end my life, will I still go to heaven?

Question

I am 32 yrs old and is unemployed now, I do not know what I can do in life. I have done many types of jobs before but do not like any of them and I feel very depressed and lost of hope in life. I have been a christian for 5 yrs, I started as a faithful christian but has loss my faith over the years. I wanted to end my life as I am very tired and do not want to live any longer.

I live in singapore which is a very competitive country, a person like me is being look down and label as lazy and not contributing.

all the people I know are doing well, they have a great career and are married but I have nothing at all. I am shame of myself, I dont have a job and is not good at anything.

this is not the first time I am feeling this way, I have been feeling depressed even since I was a teen.

Answer 1

First of all, like you I am asian and although I was born in Canada, I understand the enormous pressure there is from parents to be successful and to be well off financially. I also understand the concept of "face".

I was around 21 or 22 years old when my parents said I didn't seem to have any drive and lacked motivation, so similar to your situation, just using different words. I was in university at the time, but I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. My grades were not very good and were dropping.

I tried different things (ie. went into psychology and improved my grades), even got into law school. Perhaps it was the pressure in law school that was one of the triggers, but I developed full-blown clinical depression. Previously it was low-grade chronic depression.

I too wanted to take own life. I had a profound experience that stopped me but also I saw psychiatrists who realized I had a biochemical form of depression. However I also was depressed because I was not happy with what I was doing in life. I believe you may have a biochemical form of depression because after all, you said you have felt that way since you are a teen. Traumatic events aren't the only things that cause depression, but there are also chemical reasons. It is said that certain personality types are more prone to depression (especially those who are more sensitive). I had lost interest in many things and didn't take care of myself like people usually do and isolated myself from people. I was put on anti-depressant medication (I had to try a couple of them before I found the one that was right for me) and they helped to right the chemical imbalance in my brain causing it.

It wasn't a quick fix because there were also alot of emotional, childhood issues that had to be dealt with. This is where counselling with a good psychiatrist helps. You don't want a psychiatrist that just prescribes medication and that's it. You want someone who will help you understand why you get yourself into negative thinking patterns and how to change that. Basically you want someone to help you better understand yourself. Good ones will give you exercises to do on your own. It may take some time to find the right psychiatrist. I also saw psychologists later after I didn't need the medication.

People depend too much on religion, too much on God to solve their problems. Remember that saying - God only helps those who help themselves. You've already made the first positive step. You are emotionally aware of how you are feeling and you know something is wrong. I commend you for this because many people go through life secretly doing things they hate and taking out their misery on others.

Now you just have to take the next step. It will take time to get over this, months or even years. What you need to do is take each day one at a time, pushing your boundary a bit and making a bit of effort each day to see a friend (but not burdening them with your issues because that will drive them away) or go out to do something that makes you feel good.

Whatever you do, don't stay at home and do nothing. Go outside to the park, enjoy nature. I think volunteering is a great thing to do for two reasons. The first reason is because it makes you feel good when you make someone else feel good and the second reason is that it stops you from focusing on your own problem (and making yourself feel worse) and thinking about someone else instead.

Another thing you could do is go help out at an animal shelter. When I was living alone I helped feed some stray cats that provided me with companionship in return. Animals give unconditional love and don't judge people based on what they do in life. Animals at shelters are starved of love and affection because they have been abandoned. They also sense your feelings and will give you affection when you are feeling down.

If you can't find a psychiatrist where you are because of stigma (it is something that is not talked about in the asian community because of "face"), try to find one online, preferably one who understands your culture. Make sure they are registered with a national association for psychiatrists.

There may also be local counselling centres in your city that are free of charge especially for people who are suicidal. You could just call to talk to someone when you are feeling suicidal.

Be careful of depression newsgroups and discussion groups. Reading other peoples' negative experiences may make you more depressed.

I wish you the best of luck. Just remember to take it one day at a time and to not be so hard on yourself. I think you are getting to know who you are and that is a great thing.

Answer 2

Maybe your first step in the right direction would be to talk to a doctor or a family member, friend with regards to the way you are feeling. We all get low sometimes and losing a job or feeling unfulfilled in your work can be both soul destroying and depressing. There is so much out there you can do!! You have your whole life ahead of you. Remember, you are not alone there are people all over the world who feel the same as you do. Things can and will get better but, only you can change it Jack.

I wanted to go to University so much that I worked to pay my way through the 4 years i was there. I typed ,cooked, cleaned and scrubbed floors. Sure, i was tired and sometimes i cried ( well i cried a lot actually) but i did it. And do you know, it was the best years of my life. It enriched it so much. What i am trying to say Jack is give life a chance. Peace to you my friend. I hope you find your way in this world.

Answer 3

You said in your question that "you have lost your faith". Is yours the type of faith that sticks around only when things are good, but as soon as there is a little bump in the road you lose it somewhere. You should be asking God this question , not the Internet. The fact that you woke up today and asked this question means theres still something God needs you to do. If your mission was over then you wouldn't have woken up today. As far as your work history goes, I don't know many people that would rather work than relax at home. Sometimes work as in life is not always what you want. You have to be able to look at the bigger picture. It sounds like to me that every time you stumble a little you want to quit. God has continued to pick you up and dust you off. Ask him what he wants for you. When you get the answer don't say oh! I can't do that it's to hard. Just do it with all your heart, complete it and look for the next thing.God promised not to close one door on us without opening another, and he has NEVER broken a promise to us. You have to look for the open door though. He doesn't want robots, If he did then he would have made robots. You have the gift of free will and the gift to choose between right and wrong, USE THEM. Get to know God again and ask for guidance, he will be more than happy to oblige, GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS!!

Answer 4

Jack, I won't forgive you if you end your life!

You're just probably a right brain thinker, for Pete's sake! I'm a right brain thinker and we just don't work well at a 9 to 5 job. We need more flexibility and space. We need to be self-employed and call our own shots. Geez ..You're only 32! LOL

Okay, first, you have to use your right brain to decide what you love to do most. If you didn't HAVE to work for money to pay the bills, what would you do? Do you like sports or art or mechanics or carpentry? Do you like construction, working with plants, building models or are you a techno-wiz?

Forget about what other people TELL you you SHOULD do. Do what you WANT most to do.

Go to the library and get a book by Barbara Sher called "Wishcraft: How To Get What You Really Want" or go to :
http://www.barbarasher.com/
for info on her. She's the most inspirational "guidance counselor" I know!

Do you want to sail around the world? She'll tell you how. Would you rather be an actor? A millionaire? Or a photographer? Or a dog breeder? Or a forest fire fighter? Would you rather work in the country as a farmer or in the big city as a stock broker? She'll tell you how to find your niche. She'll prove to you that EVERYTHING is possible. EVERYTHING YOU WANT!
:)

If you try to kill yourself, Jack .... I'll find you and throttle you! So don't do it! LOL You never know if the next day you'll save a little kid's life or smile at someone who was also thinking of dying before you smiled at them.

Luv
Kate
XX

Answer 5

I strongly urge you to seek counselling asap and i the mean time tell someone close to you now how you are feeling.

Life is more than employment, seriously what a waste to end your life because you are having a hard time looking for work at the moment.

Suicide is a very selfish act as you are going to cause tremendous amounts of heartache and suffering to your loved ones if you take your life. Do you think that is fair to them?

As for God he doesn't judge anyone we must jude ourselves when we pass over to the spirit world. The problem with taking your life is that you are here for a purpose and if you cut your life before your time is finished you will delay your development in the afterlife and you will regret it not to mention feel the pain and suffering you have caused your loved ones by killing yourself.

So I suggest you reconsider as there are lots of other people that can't find work but they don't give up and nor should you.

Answer 6

Unfortunately not. To be forgiven you need to agree or admit that you did something wrong. To admit you need to confess. To confess you need a mouth. To be forgiven you need to ask for the forgiveness.
Committing suicide does not allow us to confess and ask for forgiveness because before you can confess you are dead already.
At the moment it may seem like suicide is the only way but trust me it is not. Commit suicide and you will regret it for the rest of your life because you will be burning in hell for eternity. Suicide seems like the best and quickest way to end all the misery but it is not.
You said you are a Christian? That is great. The fact that you are a Christian shows you that God is around you and that He does love you. We as Christians all backslide from time to time but thank God that He is full of grace and is always ready and willing to forgive us of our sins. I have gone trhough so much hardship from ever since I was a child and if I have to look back I noticed and trully do realise that God loves me, irrespective of my floes and my everyday mistakes.

What we as human beings go through is very stressful, unbearable, sometimes even so depressing that we think of ending our lives but just know that whatever hardship it is that you go through makes you stronger and everytime you come out as a winner you draw God closer to you and the Devil will not smile and he will want to destroy you even more but just know that the Lord is there for you to fight your battles.
I can see that you are a strong person based on your question. (1) You said you are a Christian, that takes guts and courage and strength to be one because we not only go through persecution from humans but also from the Devil. On top of all that you had strong faith and you still do, it just doesn't seem like it. (2) You tried in life, different jobs and so on, for someone they would have given up and turned to drugs or something. (3) You are alive.

Try and re-establish your faith again. Start off little by little by going to church (even if it is just sitting and listening to everyone sing), buy some gospel music and listen to it. Read your Bible. Don't worry about whether you have a job right now, that is not very very important at this point in time. Every time you feel depressed ask that the Lord comfort you and pray at the same time. Contact me. I mean it. Contact me and we can chat, just don't end your life, it's very precious to God but if you end it then God has lost you and you have lost Him. May the Lord bless you, really really bless you.

Answer 7

No.
Here is what the Bible says;
(Revelation 20:4) And I saw thrones, and there were those who sat down on them, and power of judging was given them. Yes, I saw the souls of those executed with the ax for the witness they bore to Jesus and for speaking about God, and those who had worshiped neither the wild beast nor its image and who had not received the mark upon their forehead and upon their hand. And they came to life and ruled as kings with the Christ for a thousand years.

Would a suicide be given such responsibility?

(Ecclesiastes 9:5-6) For the living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all, neither do they anymore have wages, because the remembrance of them has been forgotten. 6 Also, their love and their hate and their jealousy have already perished, and they have no portion anymore to time indefinite in anything that has to be done under the sun.

IF YOU HATE LIVING, YOU ARE INCLUDED HERE.

Answer 8

Life is like a book and you may be in a bad chapter right now but you don't know what the next chapters involve. To end your life would deprive you of knowing what the future holds. I suggest you cancel those plans and get on with living the book of your life. I'll bet the future chapters are much better that where you're at right now. Good luck.

Answer 9

absolutly not......I know in despair we all get weak and probably want nothing to do with our lives at the moment , but that is not the answer. Things happen for a reason and yes even what you might think is bad is actually in time going to be good. Sometimes if we don't close a door god will on our behalf because he knows what is good for us. Your depression is probably linked to not just your current life in transion but a more spiritual one. Your proabably questioning your existence and need answers. pls go to a site that might answer your ? or at least give you some hope. thedeenshow.com and look up shows and click under Joshua ? to view his video - god bless and be safe

Answer 10

Feel like that sometimes. Please don’t give in to these thoughts… fight them. And keep fighting them. But don’t fight alone. I’m unelopoyed too, and the constant reminder of that from people near me makes me very depressed. But We all have something in us were born to share with the wolrd. And we will share it someday. Don’t give up. You not alone. You WILL get threw this. But get help I know that’s hard. Believe me. I suffer from Bipolor Disoder and getting help to more will then I though I have. But I had it. And so do you.
I BEG you pay no head to thoughts who would have you do anything other then live, and recover. You can do both.

Sometimes G’d’s Love is that voice that tells us to hold on when we don’t think we have the strength to.

Answer 11

Perfect Happiness: Now and Forever

[41:30] Those who proclaim: "Our Lord is GOD," then lead a righteous life, the angels descend upon them: "You shall have no fear, nor shall you grieve. Rejoice in the good news that Paradise has been reserved for you.

[41:31] "We are your allies in this life, and in the Hereafter. You will have in it anything you wish for; you will have anything you want.

[41:32] "(Such is your) ultimate abode, from a Forgiver, Most Merciful."
http://www.submission.org/suras/sura41.html


Murder, Suicide, and Illicit Gains Prohibited

[4:29] O you who believe, do not consume each others' properties illicitly - only mutually acceptable transactions are permitted. You shall not kill yourselves. GOD is Merciful towards you.

[4:30] Anyone who commits these transgressions, maliciously and deliberately, we will condemn him to Hell. This is easy for GOD to do.

[4:31] If you refrain from committing the gross sins that are prohibited for you, we will remit your sins, and admit you an honorable admittance.



MATTER: The Other Name for Illusion

What is explained in this book is an important truth, which has surprised many and changed their perspectives on life. This truth can be summarized as follows: "All events and objects that we encounter in real life-buildings, people, cities, cars, places-in fact, everything we see, hold, touch, smell, taste and hear-come into existence as visions and feelings in our brains".

We are taught to think that these images and feelings are caused by a solid world outside of our brains, where material things exist. However, in reality we never see real existing materials and we never touch real materials. In other words, every material entity which we believe exists in our lives, is, in fact, only a vision which is created in our brains.

This is not a philosophical speculation. It is an empirical fact that has been proven by modern science. Today, any scientist who is a specialist in medicine, biology, neurology or any other field related to brain research would say, when asked how and where we see the world, that we see the whole world in the vision center located in our brains.

This fact has been scientifically proven in the twentieth century, and although it may seem surprising, it necessarily implies answers to two questions; "If our lives are visions created in our brains, then who is it that creates these visions? And who is it that sees these visions in our brains without having eyes and enjoys them, gets excited and happy?" You will find the answers to these two important questions in this book.
http://www.harunyahya.com/matter.php