Can someone please tell me what roles and responsibilities the MOH is supposed to have, like certain things she typically would organise when it comes to my wedding?
I have asked my 17 year old sister to be my Cheif Bridesmaid/ MOH and I am happy that I did as she is my only sister. The only thing is that she has not asked about anything I would like her to do and does not show much interest in the wedding. Maybe she will as it gets closer but sometimes I think she only said yes because it's a special role. I don't know what I should get her to do anyway but if she asks it would be nice to have her do something so she feels she has helped. My mum is helping me heaps and I think sometimes my sister might be a bit jealous. It's just I think being MOH is a special thing so it would be nice if she showed just a little bit of enthusiam. I don't know if I want to say N E thing as it may make things uncomfortable between us. Please help?
2007-09-10 23:37:25 · 9 answers · asked by BTB2211 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The reason I have not asked her to do much yet is because I get the impression she does not really want to. I know it's not very nice but my sister is fairly self-absorbed and too wrapped up in her own world (as teenagers often are) to ask about any things I might like help with. With her lack of enthusiasm, I feel as though I would be an inconvenience to ask her help on top of everything else she has to do. I think she is just happy to be all pretty on the day. Is it best just to not ask? Should the only things I ask of her is to pick her dress and jewellery? I suppose I don't really mind if she doesn't want to do anything, I just imagined my MOH differently is all.
2007-09-11 02:00:20 · update #1
The reason I have not asked her to do much yet is because I get the impression she does not really want to. I know it's not very nice but my sister is fairly self-absorbed and too wrapped up in her own world (as teenagers often are) to ask about any things I might like help with. With her lack of enthusiasm, I feel as though I would be an inconvenience to ask her help on top of everything else she has to do. I think she is just happy to be all pretty on the day. Is it best just to not ask? Should the only things I ask of her is to pick her dress and jewellery? I suppose I don't really mind if she doesn't want to do anything, I just imagined my MOH differently is all.
2007-09-11 02:04:07 · update #2
The reason I have not asked her to do much yet is because I get the impression she does not really want to. I know it's not very nice but my sister is fairly self-absorbed and too wrapped up in her own world (as teenagers often are) to ask about any things I might like help with. With her lack of enthusiasm, I feel as though I would be an inconvenience to ask her help on top of everything else she has to do. I think she is just happy to be all pretty on the day. Is it best just to not ask? Should the only things I ask of her is to pick her dress and jewellery? I suppose I don't really mind if she doesn't want to do anything, I just imagined my MOH differently is all.
2007-09-11 02:06:37 · update #3
The reason I have not asked her to do much yet is because I get the impression she does not really want to. I know it's not very nice but my sister is fairly self-absorbed and too wrapped up in her own world (as teenagers often are) to ask about any things I might like help with. With her lack of enthusiasm, I feel as though I would be an inconvenience to ask her help on top of everything else she has to do. I think she is just happy to be all pretty on the day. Is it best just to not ask? Should the only things I ask of her is to pick her dress and jewellery? I suppose I don't really mind if she doesn't want to do anything, I just imagined my MOH differently is all.
2007-09-11 02:23:46 · update #4
The reason I have not asked her to do much yet is because I get the impression she does not really want to. I know it's not very nice but my sister is fairly self-absorbed and too wrapped up in her own world (as teenagers often are) to ask about any things I might like help with. With her lack of enthusiasm, I feel as though I would be an inconvenience to ask her help on top of everything else she has to do. I think she is just happy to be all pretty on the day. Is it best just to not ask? Should the only things I ask of her is to pick her dress and jewellery? I suppose I don't really mind if she doesn't want to do anything, I just imagined my MOH differently is all.
2007-09-11 02:42:20 · update #5
Here's a list of responsibilities from The Knot: http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI980914211009&keywordType=2&keywordID=163&parentID=527
You may not have ALL those things on your list, however. You might just want her there for moral support and to hold your bouquet.
Re. her not being enthusiastic or showing an interest in the wedding: You might want to tell her what you envision her doing, or show her the list and see what she wants to do. You might also want to tell her that if she really doesn't want to be doing these things, you won't be the slightest bit insulted, and she could just be a regular bridesmaid or even a guest, whichever she prefers. Tell her to only accept the role if she really wants to do these things, not out of obligation or fear of hurting your feelings.
2007-09-11 01:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
According to current brides, the MOH is supposed to run everything but the wedding night. And I'm waiting for some over-fatigued bride to suggest she stand in there, too.
But there's a nice older tradition, still supported by Miss Manners, in which the only thing the maid of honor does is to help arrange the bride's veil during the service, and perhaps attend the rehearsal dinner and say Thank you for the gift the bride gives her there.
2007-09-10 23:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by bonitakale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is waiting to hear from YOU what you want her to do.
She is 17, so if you want a wild bachelorette party someone else will have to plan it.
IMO she's uncertain as to her responsibilities OR she's being very private as to her plans for you.
MY MOH/bridesmaids only responsibilities are to show up and stand by me on my day. I know my mom and bridal party are planning a bridal shower, but not sure what else she is planning (which that is how it should be).
How far away is your wedding? That might also be a factor in her lack of enthusiasm.
2007-09-11 01:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she's probably waiting to be given a job. Most people think that the bride knows exactly what she wants, and will just divide the jobs among her helpers. For that reason, people are 'scared' to offer suggestions to the bride.
But of course that's not how all brides are. If you'd like your sis to take a more creative role, you should just ask her straight out for ideas, and tell her that if she has a good idea she should just run with it.
As for specific jobs, the obvious one would be to allow her to organise your hen night (if you want one), but that might be a bit trickier for her if she's just 17.
How about asking her to arrange flowers/candles and other decor. Or how about the wedding favours? If there are youngsters coming to the wedding, you could also ask her to make up 'party bags' for them.
2007-09-10 23:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by bonshui 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this and of course it's NOT meant to mean every high school-aged person, however... In my experience, girls that age are just excited to be in the wedding but don't generally want to do too much of the planning. I was MOH for my friend's wedding and her two sisters (15 and 17) were bride's maids. They did NOTHING for the whole planning. I planned EVERY event like the hen party, bridal showers (2), etc. I even bought the bride's maids' gift to her myself.
Also, my friend who got married this summer had two girls aged 16 and 17 in her wedding adn again they were excited to be in the wedding itself but showed no interest in actually planning anything or throwing the shower, etc.
If you have bride's maids, ask them to help out.
2007-09-11 04:46:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends upon what you ask her to do.
My MOH lived far away from me, and where the wedding was. I asked nothing more of her than to be there with us, support us, and have fun as an attendant! Her only duties on the wedding day was holding my bouquet, and fluffing my train! My family did the bulk of the helping with the wedding planning, work, threw the shower, etc.
Because your sister is younger, YOU need to do the asking.
2007-09-11 02:08:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you try to involve her in helping you make decisions, and act as a second opinion, maybe in place of your Mum for something. It depends what her strengths are, if she's arty she could help plan/design/put together/order stationary, table settings, decorations etc. If she's better at talking to people get her to ring around and check arrangements and prices, or chase people up regarding invites. If you think she's feeling jealous of your Mum then why don't you give her a "really important" job to do, that your Mum is not involved in. Go girlie shopping together: jewelery, make up, shoes, outfits. She needs to feel she is apart of the day, and I think she is waiting for you to give her instructions on what her role intales.
2007-09-11 00:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by iccleanne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I'm asking of my maid of honor is that she stand there and look pretty, oh and I let her pick out the style of the bridesmaids dresses because I didn't have a specific style in mind and she would be one of the women wearing the dress!!
2007-09-11 00:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
has she orgianised the girls night out ,strippers etc blue movies xxxx the donkeys,
2007-09-10 23:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by matty60 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋