my son and his girlfreind had a baby 9 weeks ago and right out of the blue i get a call saying i no longer can see any of them ive been very good with them i provided everything they needed for the baby and more i cant understand why this is going on tryed to speak with my son who just seems to be so nasty with a really bad attiued i only have i son it feels like my life is falling apart i had a operation this year and some days i cant walk with pain im not surposed to travel in a car for more than 15minutes but i make the jounery everytime im allowed to see them which is 2 hours im not one of them mothers that interfer if they have rows i never take sides they live with her parents so its hard to go to the house and see them on my own although her mother has said she cant understand why they are treating me this way she said you have been so good to them her daughter says she has an illness which stops people going out but shes always out and about i just wish i could understand why
2007-09-10 23:15:20 · 18 answers · asked by J en 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
try to speak with them and explain how much this is upsetting you and ask why they have been so unfair with this decision and what it is if anything you can do to change this situation. as a mother myself I know how difficult family relationships can be. I hope you sort this out
2007-09-10 23:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a sad situation. It's probably post natal depression causing the problems so things WILL improve with time - you just have to be very patient. It's good you have made friends with the girl's mother though. Stay friends with her because that way you won't lose touch with your son and his baby even if you don't get to see them. Is it possible for you to visit the mother and see the baby without seeing your son and his g/f? That would be a start. Alternatively, would the mother be kind enough to bring the baby to you for a visit occasionally? If not, when you do go and visit, make a BIG fuss of them. Be sneaky. Play down all your aches and pains and the sacrifices you make to visit because with a new baby they want ALL the attention. Maybe they feel that your illness detracts from their being centre stage. Very selfish of them. The object is for you to keep in touch - even from a distance. Falling out with them won't achieve this and there's loads of time. A lifetime to get to know your grandchild. Good luck.
2007-09-11 06:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by chris n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about this - I've seen this happen a lot with ungrateful children these days- discarding their parents like old shoes.
It doesn't seem to matter how good you are to them - it's never enough - I'm saying this so you won't blame yourself for the selfishness. I won't start on what I have gone/going through with my daughter. As someone else mentioned it may be interference from the mother but it won't help to dwell on the why's/how's. I've been doing that for a long time and still have not found the answers. To save you much heartache all that I can say is it's happening a lot with this generation who do not seem to care and you cannot let it make you fall apart. I suggest you write a brief letter letting them know you are hurt and do not understand the reasons (without being accusing)
Sorry I'm not much help but my heart goes out to you.
Hope you can work things out.
Flip
2007-09-11 07:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by flip 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Iam really sorry that you are going through all this. There is not alot you can do as it may make the situation worse. You could pour everything out into a letter and send it to them. Ask them if you have done anything that you can put right. but most of all just tell them how much you love them all very much. If you get no reply I would right every 2 weeks or so just to remind them that you are not giving up but you will not push or pressure them. let them know that you will always be there for them and again that you love them all very much. Goodluck and I hope it works out for you. take care xx
2007-09-11 11:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they refuse to let you see your grandchild, you can take them to court. Grandparents have almost as many rights as a parent does now. If you get along with her mother, then have her mother let you know when they are out and the baby is with her so that you can at least come to see the baby. They are being immature doing this. You will have to make them talk to you in order to find out why they have made this horrible decision. Remember, they have a lot of growing up to do. Hopefully they will come to their senses without having to be drug through court. You should seriously consider going to court so you can see the baby. The baby needs the entire family....including you.
2007-09-11 06:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by Angelic Valentine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has this been going on?
They are being very hurtful and unreasonable, it would be only fair to give you some sort of a reason. I don't know what to suggest except the old stand by 'least said, soonest mended'.
I think I'd write a letter to your son, or text him, saying you can't understand why, but that you love them and will always be there for them all.
My heart goes out to you. Good Luck!
2007-09-11 06:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by proud walker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son should be ashame of himself.This is your grand child and they are taken the glory right from you.I know you cant stand his g-friend i wouldnt either.Maybe he will change his mind and come back around.Kids can be so cruel ....You know the mother of the daughter probably has something to do with this.Just set back and watch and he will come around.Bless your heart i feel bad for you .As a grandma myself that would just about kill me.I only have one child also ,but i have a daughter not a son.if you would like to chat sometimes just email me and ill add you to my messager.
2007-09-11 06:55:17 · answer #7 · answered by lady bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be you should write a letter explaining how hurt and upset you feel, address it to your son and ask if you have done any thing to annoy them. it might be that your sons girlfriend may feel that you will not think shes a good mother and finds it difficult to be around you in case you judge her or try and help her, she may feel threatened. but you are the grandmother and should have a role to play in your grandchilds life. her mother must know why her daughter is behaving this way and you should ask her to be honest even if it hurts your feelings,at least then you can try to resolve this situation. hope this helps. good luck, kerry x
2007-09-14 15:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kerry A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds incredibly odd that your son would just out of the blue say we can't see you anymore. Have you had a good relationship. Could you have said something to upset him without knowing? Think About it. Try to ask him again what you did to upset him so badly that he no longer wants to see you.If he won't talk with you try writing him a short letter. I hope things work out for you.
2007-09-11 08:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by Nick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to write them a letter using punctuation. I'm not noting that they will respond given the imaturity level. Apparently their life is in the pits and they feel you are scapegoat along with their child. Some of this may be being fueled by the mother also despite what she is saying to you.
2007-09-11 07:17:48 · answer #10 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋