2007-09-10 19:37:51 · 21 answers · asked by prettybaby 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
If you think that you are not capable of giving your child the care that he or she needs, or you current situation is to impossible for you to bring a child into at this time then I feel adoption may be the best choice at that time. It doesn't mean that you do not care or love your child, it shows you want what is best for your baby. So many reasons and factors can enter into the decision and only you know what is best for you, your baby and your life. Pray and ask for guidance in making this very important decision. Go through all the possible avenues that you could take in order to keep your child and if you still feel that it would be best for the child to be adopted then that is a decision you only can make. Try to make sure that your baby gets a good adoptive home and one that will love the baby and give it the best of care. I would love to adopt, but the expense it outrageous and all the attorney fees, court fees make it all most impossible for a child to be adopted in the USA, that is why most people go out of the country to adopt children, even the rich and famous go else where because of all the red tape it takes to adopt a child here and all the years it takes. This takes a lot of thought and prayer and it is a tough decision to make, but you are the one that has to make it for yourself and make sure it is one that you can live with for the rest of your life! God Bless and take care!
2007-09-10 19:52:02 · answer #1 · answered by gizmo2 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I did about 32 years ago and it was the hardest decision that I"ve made in my life. But I also know that it was the best decision that I could have made for the baby and for myself because I was not ready to be a mother. I was young and scared her father wouldn't support me either emotionally or financially and I had no apartment or any of the other issues that you should have in place before having a child. If you really feel that it's the best thing for the child don't let anyone change your mind unless you're sure that they are going to be there with you when you need it the most. People tell you a lot of things but in the middle of the night when the baby is crying and you're tiered are they going to be there to take the child for you so that you can sleep? If you're still young enough to want to finish school are they going to watch the baby so that you can do that? Unless they are offering real help only you and the father have a right to make the ultimate decision!
2007-09-11 03:51:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kathryn R 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a baby when I was 16. I kept him and tried real hard to do everything I could for him. I didn't have any support like family. All I had were these "God Parents" that said they would help me until I got on my feet. Well, I got my GED and worked as much as I could but that still wasn't good enough. I got pregnant again at 18 and they said I had to put that baby up for adoption. I picked parents for her but then realized that I wasn't going to do something just because they wanted me to . So I told them I was going to keep the baby. They immediatly took me to court and took temporary limited guardianship of my first. They said that when I was on my feet they would give him back. Well, I got married and moved away and took both kids with me. I petitioned the court to terminate the Guardianship. They found out and came from out of state to take him away in the middle of the night. It became a big ordeal. They would tell my son that I didn't love him and that he should tell me he hated me and such. We had hired an expencive lawyer becaue we wanted the best and we tried to fight. Then they brought up a bunch of accusations that I had to prove and they were putting my daughter through hell. So I told them either they give him to me or they adopt him because I am not going to play tough of war with a child. They procratinated and procrastinated just to hold us and keep control. They would call and call and say hurtful things all the time. It was an emotional hell. I signed the papers for them to adopt him because it was so hard hearing your child say mean things to you. He was 8 years old. People may judge me for that but you want to do what is best for your child. I am a great mother and I love my children. He said he wanted to be there and these people were not helping the situation. They are in their 60's. I had to do what I was pretty much forced to do. One day he may come back and ask why and I will tell him. Please don't judge because you didn't live it but adoption for some people is painful and heart wrenching. I believe that if you cannot care for a child give it to some one who can. If you aren't going to do what it takes and make sacrafices, do what is right for that child. My child was "legally" stolen from me. That is not what adoption is about. I guess I have mixed feelings.
2007-09-11 06:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by southern comfort 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am the single mother of 3 children, it's been really hard, but like they say it's the hardest job you'll ever love. I am the type person who loves a challenge and single parenthood is not for everyone. I believe if someone doesn't want the responsibility, it's in the best interest of the child to do that. I could never give one of my children away, it's hard enough letting them go on visitation.
2007-09-11 02:49:48 · answer #4 · answered by omgithinkiknow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm an adoptee - and I had a teenage pregnancy - and I KNEW - without any question - that I would never put my child through what I have lived.
Yeah - I had great adoptive parents - and I love them dearly.
But there are so many losses and hurts in adoption - that I've lived.
I should have been able to grow with the family that I was born to.
That's how it's meant to be.
2007-09-11 03:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think it is a good choice for someone who can not care for the infant but does not want to abort it. Gives a childless couple a chance at being parents. Adoption has been around since Bible times. Moses was adopted even Jesus had an adopted father
2007-09-11 08:40:27 · answer #6 · answered by Done 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Really depends on the circumstances. But if I'm not mentally or physically ill than I would never do it. Besides i look at my little boys eyes and feel something I have never felt my whole life a different kind of love and happiness. I could not imagine my life without him.
2007-09-11 02:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by CanDPac 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
open adoption which is when you get to be involved with the child's life as auntie. this for peple who have given the child up cus they are teen's or they are financially incpapable and want a better life for their kid.
any other adoption is shirking off resposibiliry. the above mother's are resposible
i agree with the savage princess i do have 3 boy's thus 3 pregnancy's each time i fell in love with each child when they were in my tummy you will to.
but as for one other girl said, i gave her a thumb' down she said she would rather abort then to give up the child. that's one selfish person there.
jeeze
giving the reminder of all the story's you hear about adoption's and how they are abused or turned into house maid's and such which happen's ask my mom who was adopted not very nice story's to hear.
i think it's best to know what's happening to your child even if he or she doesnt call you mom. open adoption's are better.
2007-09-11 02:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It should be your choice and not that of somebody else. I've known of cases of where girls were made by their parents to give their babies up for adoption and the girls felt terrible about it for years afterwards.
2007-09-11 02:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by RoVale 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's the right choice in some circumstances. If you get pregnant and can't afford a baby, or just plain didn't want one, but dont' believe in abortion, or just didn't want an abortion, then it's the perfect choice.
If you're unbalanced and can't take care of your children, that's a good thing to do, for the sake of the child.
It's a very selfless choice that a birth mom(and sometimes dad) makes, for the good of their child.
2007-09-11 03:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by E's Mommy 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋