Ok, so there's this girl that lives in the same dorm as me and she has been giving rather extreme signals with her physical actions and words which seem to oppose each other. She says that she is not interested in anyone in the dorm, but she hasn't given me a straight answer as to whether she likes me or not. She spends lots of time with me and we get rather close physically (massages, cuddling during movies etc) and she is completely comfortable with me and has been since shortly after we met. She has strongly suggested verbally that she isn't interested in me, but has not given me a clear "No" and by this point I know she is aware that I like her. The past couple days she has even gone to full lengths to make me jealous of other males whom she knows from home. In fear of altering our rather close friendship I want to be as sure as possible of the situation before I make any advances. Please let me know what you think her intentions may be and what you think I should do.
2007-09-10 19:03:57 · 8 answers · asked by Nick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She sounds like trouble and someone who either doesnt know what they want or a huge teaser. Youre better off not pursuing her or she will drain you fast.
2007-09-10 19:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OKay, I don't think anyone is ever really ready to go into a relationship, they just do. THere is a lot of evidence that points to both sides of this question: Does she like you or does she not? You already like her, and she knows you do.
She may like you very much, but not know how to react or may be scared of what she feels for you. She is obviously comfortable in your presence, and being around you makes her day. However, if she is scared of her feelings then she would be getting other guys to try and see how you would react. Or she could be trying to run away from her feelings for you so she doesn't have to face them in a sense. The fact that she hasn't given you a clear answer enforces the idea that she isn't sure about her feelings for you. She may not want to go into a relationship with you, because if you two ever break up the friendship will most likely go with it.
On the opposite side, she may like you, but not enough to date you. This whole time she may have just seen you as a really good guy friend. The fact that you two clicked so quickly could imply that she saw you as a really cool guy that would be an awesome friend. So she is comfortable around you, because she believed that nothing would ever go past that "Just Friends" barrier. You said she knows that you like her...this can be what caused her going around other guys. She realized that she was leading you on down the wrong road unintentionally.
It really is a toss up, everything can be interpreted 2-3 maybe even 4 different ways. This is just the two I think. My recommendation on what to do: find a way of having a one-on-one conversation with her, and ask her for a clear cut answer about how she sees you? Is it just as a friend or more than a friend? Is there a chance of the two of you being together? Ask her everything that has ever come to mind. Like why does she cuddle with you, get massages, etc.? Is it because she likes you or just feels really comfortable with you and that's all it will ever be?
Hope this helped, and I hope you get what you want.
2007-09-10 19:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by Koala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly college aged girls are a confusing breed. Understand that she is probably fresh out of her parents' house, most likely behaved well in high school (if she had already rebelled and been through anything interesting in her life she'd be a hell of a lot more mature than she is now), and she is in a place where she is coming into her own as a woman. That being said, she is most likely determining her sexual prowess and stringing you along because you make her feel hot and good about herself. Chances are she knows you like her. OBVIOUSLY or else you wouldn't be trying to cuddle with her and stuff. Sadly though, it sounds like she just likes ATTENTION. Girls are excellent at reeling men in, if they want to. i.e., if she likes you she would make it clear. She wouldn't tell you that she doesn't like anyone in the dorm if she really liked you. She hasn't told you to your face that she DOESN'T like you because that would mean that you (a self-respecting dude with more fish in the sea) would not be fawning over her and giving her back massages and her much needed fuel to her insecure flame. Still, she says vaguely that she doesn't like anyone in the dorm so that she has given herself a sort of moral disclaimer against hurting your feelings. If you fall for her big time and someday profess your love to her, she doesn't have to feel bad because "she told you from the beginning".
Basically, whatever friendship you think you have with this girl is probably more based on what she needs from you (security, attention, confidence boost) than what she's willing to give you.
If you really like her, have reasonably big balls, and don't mind putting it all out there, I suggest saying something to her now before this goes any further. Tell her you're starting to develop feelings for her and may want to be more than friends. Put her on the spot and force her to be honest. ABOVE ALL: DO NOT LET GIRLS PLAY MIND/WORD GAMES WITH YOU EVER.
2007-09-10 19:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by drivenmusicnyc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls are enigmas, you wouldn't know what they are thinking. Sometimes, they themselves don't even know what they are thinking. You can't generalize and say that in this situation, she likes you or she doesn't like you. From what I have gathered, she isn't detested with you, that is for sure. As to whether she likes you or not, maybe she doesn't even know. However, there are a some tests you can do to elucidate the matter.
You can try distancing yourself from her for a while, not like intentionally, but rather pretend you are busy with work or studies, etc. If she comes looking for you or starts being angry at you for not having the time, then it is a clear indication that she likes you. You can also try talking to her about some other girl that you like, not like you really like that other girl, but talk about the girl's qualities and ask for her opinion about the other girl. If you sense jealousy, then it is also an indication.
2007-09-10 19:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by ali 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she likes you, but at the same time does not desire to be involved in a relationship at this time in her life. But don't worry, usually girls will cave in on this. They don't typically cuddle w/ guys who aren't friends, in fact that'd be really rare. And there's no reason to try to make a friend jealous, right??
At this time, she's conflicted as to what she wants. I'd just keep on trying to gradually expand the limits of that physical comfort zone. Eventually you'll end up making out and then a relationship will likely blossam from there.
2007-09-10 19:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by asig33882003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a situation exactly like this.I thought she wasnt into me like that and I finally made a move on her and things went from there.There is only one way to find out.And thats to just try.Oh and this is my wife now by the way:)
2007-09-10 19:14:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plat it slow and give her time and space, she may not even know herself!
2007-09-10 19:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2007-09-13 05:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by simran s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋