i had 3 sex partners: 1: female ex girlfriend, 2: onenight stand w/ femal stripper, 3. recieved oral from a transexual. I also been with other females and just did kissing and touching, no sex: oral nor vaginal. i also been addicted to hardcore porn, but havent watched in months.
if i ever meet special female in life, and want to married her and be faithful, should i tell her about my past??
or maybe, i should not try to find real love in my life, since im so ashamed about my past, there is no way i can tell anyone, except God.
2007-09-10 17:52:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Get tested thoroughly. After that, there is no need to tell anyone about your past. Have you considered that (no matter who you've been with and why and when) your future girlfriend/wife might not want to know? Unless you feel like this is something about you that you cannot bear living with privately and she must know or you will not believe that she truly loves the real you (which, by the way, is an insane notion-- let it go--we've all had moments we're not proud of)-- let sleeping dogs lie. Nobody wants to talk about ex's. What's the point? And DEFINITELY nobody wants mental images of their loved one sleeping with anyone but them. Of course you can tell her you're not a virgin, but leave it at that. If she presses for a number of partners, fine-- but no more information is necessary for ANYONE (not just because you seem ashamed of the people you've been with). No one wants gory details. Put a wrap on the porn (throw it out/delete it and move on if you're as ashamed as you say-- why live with ghosts in your closet to torture yourself?). Consider this period of "sexual deviance" as it seems you see it, to be a CLOSED CHAPTER. Make SURE you are disease free and emotionally ready for a relationship that is loving and then-- go get em tiger. Forgive yourself. God has bigger fish to fry.
2007-09-10 18:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you obviously believe in God, God can help you build a new life that is not based upon addiction to hardcore porn. Good for you that you haven't been looking at it for awhile.
When you meet someone and after some time earn their trust and trust them as well, you can decide then whether or not to tell. You might not need to. Consider this -- are you expecting to marry a virgin, or maybe someone who may have had a sexual relationship before? If you think God can cover you with grace and forgive you, then you could marry someone who has had sex, knowing that God could also grant that person the grace to change.
You don't need to be ashamed. God's grace is not about shaming people. Every person on this earth has or will make mistakes. But now you are sensing there is a better way to live, so trust that God will help you live it!
2007-09-10 18:01:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH man!!-LOL ok honest Opinion.
i would be totally freaked out if i knew the truth, it would have been ok if it was just 3 ex-girlfriends or something or a one night stand with a normal stranger but that is: 2 strippers, 1transsexual and porn to deal with.
. . .BUT u have changed. i would want to know the truth if i asked u the question (don't just mention it) and i would learn to except it if u a great person otherwise.
all people deserves a chance not to be judged. u did go for an A.I.D.S test right?? that will also be important to ur future love.
2007-09-10 18:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just told all of us. Look, the past is the past. If a girl asks you about it you can do several things.
1. Tell her the truth
2. Lie to her
3. Say you would prefer not to talk about it
The option the girl picks and how she reacts to being given the choices should really let you know whether or not the girl is worth pursuing. By the way, don't be ashamed of what you've done. We all make mistakes.
2007-09-10 17:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The condition you set here is IF. IF you ever met any special female, you don't have to tell her. But what you need to do is this : Making sure you are free from STDs, and if you do have STDs, you NEED to tell her before having any sexual encounter with her.
There is nothing you can do about your sexual past, but what you are today will shape you to a better person tomorrow. I say repent, and decide to live a safer life!
2007-09-10 18:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by joulsey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its three sex partners not thirty. Ur wife wouldnt care. Id leave out the transexual part tho
2007-09-10 17:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone deserves a life partner, just don't tell her. What is in past is in the past.
2007-09-10 17:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by nomorequestionsplz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been tested and do not have any sexual transmitted disease, then I don't believe you have to give any potential partner the details of your sexual past.
If you need help with your feelings of shame, I suggest you talk with your minister or priest.
2007-09-10 18:01:31 · answer #8 · answered by ALR 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, please... the past is the past.
Would YOU wanna know all the guys she's been with?
And WHY does she have know all that anyway?
I'm sure there are many people on this site who didn't really want or need to know that about you either.
2007-09-10 17:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well .....the past will always come back @u no matter what u try and do ,i know u wanna change things 4 the better but there is always that chance w/your past, if u really wanna change get help ...i don't know ...hope things go well.
2007-09-10 18:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋