What am I doing wrong in my relationships?

Question

I FEEL SO DEPRESSED! i have never had a real boyfriend. where he calls me his woman or his girlfriend you no? but ive had 3 long time relationships and few short ones where the man would take me out places & flaunt me like a diamond ring as if i was a prize hed won, bragging to all his friends & making me meet them. i do everythin for him. i wash his clothes iron his work clothes make his drinks cook him food play with his hair scratch his back massage him have sex w. him sleep in his bed night after night, & if i wasnt working i was with him. but heres the catch, i am never there "girlfriend" just a home girl! why do all men treat me like this? am i not good enough to be there woman? & they always try to spend money on my & buy me things as if to justify it. & im always their main chic but i no they mess around with other woman, i guess thats y they like to not have me as their girlfriend so they can be with many woman. i feel so used y cant i find a good man to treat me right? :(

Answer 1

It sounds like you jump into relationships a little too willingly and quickly. These guys may see you as their trophy girl rather than a girl they really love. Before you commit so much to your relationships, make sure that the guy isn't using you and that you both have feelings for one another.

Answer 2

You are trying WAY too hard. Don't do any chores, laundry, ironing... As far as sex goes, wait until you have an emotional relationship established and know the man really cares for YOU, not just your body.

There's nothing wrong with a man being proud of the woman he's dating. However, if you're feeling like a trophy, you probably are being seen as an object by him. Don't allow this to continue.

The key to finding the right man is to take your time. Don't be in a rush to give your heart to anyone. Wait and see if they are truly worthy and sincere, then slowly give and see if they are truly trustworthy or just good actors.

So far, none of the guys you were with are MEN, they're all boys playing at being men. When you meet a real man, you'll know what I mean.

Answer 3

First off- your dating the wrong kind of men. If you ever want to experience true love, you will have to avoid this type. He isn't in it for the long-term, he simply wants as many woman "toys" as possible. This lad could have Neurotic Pathology- where he was raised into a very masculent man- In later years Since he doesn't have as much Motherly Love, he tends to abuse women since they have no central signigicance to him. Aside from that-Compatibility has a lot to do with the way you were raised. Maybe you were more closer to your mother than your father. Maybe your parents fought a lot while you were growing up. ( There are many combinations).This all has a dramtic impact on you and it sculps you into the person that you will become. Love is an art. To master an art you need Patience, Concentration, Discipline, and Passion. this can be applied to many things that you do in your life. Most things are related to Art. It can be practiced throughout your dating years. One day hopefully you will find the right man. Where the both of you click on all fronts. You will be truly happy- For Love is the most precious thing that our human race has brought into this world.

Also- much of what I've said is in depth in this book called The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. I never like to read but- This is like a small bible for everyone in the world. Everyone should read it. But hey- if your not into reading at all, just forget about. But I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.

Answer 4

I'm sorry my friend but you allow yourself to be treated this way..make them earn the priviledges. The priviledge of even your company should be earned. You can't play house with them. This is why they never take you serious because you are too free. I think a lady should be picked up at her door and escorted back..not dropped into this bed. You are worth the world and you should be treated like a queen. If you talk this out with Mr. Big Spender & nothing changes, move on, Princess!

Answer 5

You just have a habit of picking all the looser of the world, the way you say you treat these guys, I don't know what else they could want. Be a little more selective next time, get to know what the guy is really like before you give him your heart and your body, Trust me, there is some guy out there waiting for a woman like you.

Answer 6

The problem is you are doing too much for them. You are not their girlfriend so why are you washing their dirtry draws (?sp) . Y buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Stop giving these guys your all. These men treat you the way you treat yourself some how you go to them letting them think you are a piece of meat so they treat you that way.

Answer 7

Because you have no self respect. People won't respect people that don't respect themselves. Your too needy and do everything you can for them because you think that's whats going to keep them. Start putting yourself first and stop being a doormat. Get some theraphy and once you treat yourself right , men will also treat you right. They treat you more like a kept woman rather than a gf.

Answer 8

I think you have just not found a man who is secure in himself enough to bring out the beautiful woman you are. A real man completes a woman, and a real woman, a man. A truly beautiful woman is a healthy needed and welcome soul-mate to any truly blessed man. A real man who knows he is a real man, is a wise man. Wait for such a man and he will come along in your life as a gift not a reward for what you do to earn it. Love in its true meaning is always a gift from God. To be given away freely.

Answer 9

thats not necessarily a problem with you but the guy, he just probably dont want a serious relationship. And you cant really force that. It sounds like you are doing good stuff to keep a man happy. I mean if I wanted only one woman i hope she would do all that for me :)

Answer 10

Stop doing "girlfriend" things (washing & ironing his work clothes, cooking, & sleeping in his bed night after night) until he SAYS you are his girlfriend. Until he says you ARE the girlfriend, be the other woman too and let him wine you, dine you, and 69 you!