My roommate is a self-professed "prude," while I'm somewhat more liberal. She doesn't want to change clothes in front of me, and I respect that. The problem is, she also doesn't want me to change in front of her. I'm forced to go into the bathroom or usually the tiny closet in our room to change, which is awkward to say the least. It's my opinion that I should get to change in open space and she can look away (her desk faces the wall anyway), but she doesn't like that idea either. I have no intention of switching roommates, but any other suggestions as to how to resolve this would be greatly appreciated.
2007-09-10 16:40:13 · 12 answers · asked by Aura 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
lol, kat_sparrow! This is actually the second year we've lived together but last year there were four of us so it was less of an issue. She's quite outgoing and very resolved about this. It's just her thing, and I only have to deal with it for 9 months.
Thanks for the advice, guys! I'll be picking a best answer soon :)
2007-09-10 17:44:37 · update #1
Make a cute changing corner. Like take a corner of the room and put a screen around it to make a little room. Have a mirror back there and little clothes hooks. cute. Better than the closet.
2007-09-11 05:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by undone 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My friend had the same problem! So frustrating...
I would suggest putting up makeshift curtain to divide your room so you can be free to do whatever. It might not look pretty, but usually any sort of housing involving a roommate is temporary. Depending on the size, you could string up some rope, get a pressure rod, or even something like a Japanese screen. My friend used a sheet on rope to divide her room. If your roommate gets insulted by the suggestion just be sure to let her know you have a different lifestyle. You're living there too!
Hope this helps!
2007-09-10 16:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Try to remember she may come from a background very different than yours, or she may be painfully shy. Maybe if you start very slowly, eventually she'll ease up a bit.
For example, instead of just stripping down naked before getting ready for bed, start by just changing a blouse where she can probably see you in your bra for a moment. Or take off your jeans and walk to your closet in your underwear to grab a robe. Give her small doses for awhile. Engage her in some small talk while you're changing, so she won't feel so self conscious.
If she's that uptight about it, she may never want to see you walking around naked, and you may have to respect that. But you should at least be able to change your clothes in your own room without hiding in the closet. I have a feeling after awhile, she'll be more comfortable about changing in front of you too. (she must have to take a Valium to go to the gynecologist!)
2007-09-10 16:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by kat_sparrow 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Get a Japanese shoji screen to place between the two of you, or in front of the closet. This will give you additional 'private' space, but you won't have to leave the room or be forced to use a small closet.
Good luck!
2007-09-10 16:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by curious gal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A room divider makes sense, but have her buy it since she won't simply LOOK AWAY! Seriously, it does not take that long for someone to change...
Ask her to go into the little closet or bathroom when you change, and if she says no, change anyways.
You're making an effort to respect her but she can't simply look away? I don't think so.
I get that you don't want to change IN FRONT OF HER, but rather in the open space you pay to live in.
:)
2007-09-10 16:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by sofia 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
well she shouldnt feel wierd unless she somehow had some sort of problem with you. i see no problem of her just looking away or you wanting the space to change. it sounds like you and your roomate dont mesh well together. get a room divider or change roomates
2007-09-10 16:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd either go into the bathroom or the closet to change or get one of those partitions and change behind that.
2007-09-11 05:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I feel it's not so much an issue of her beliefs- rather one of her insecurity and comfort levels. Just change quickly, and let her know beforehand. It's something she needs to get over. I'd ask her about it.
2007-09-10 16:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by avatar 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Get one of those gorgeous room-dividers! They look so nice and you can put them away when not in use.
2007-09-10 16:43:41 · answer #9 · answered by Suddenly Me 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
She's the one with the problem. Let her come up with a solution and the financial support for it.
Typical prude expecting you to cater to their eccentricities.
2007-09-10 16:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by mindoversplatter 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋