My 3 year old and I were in a department store today, and passed by a halloween display. He and I continued to talk about it as we were walking out. He said "Oooh spooky!" Problem was, we were passing several black ladies who gave me the dirtiest look. Should I tell my son that's a naughty word? We've never used that word in an ugly way, so when he said it it was in total innocence and wasn't talking about black people at all. Should I have tried to explain to the ladies, and risk bad turning to worse?
2007-09-10 15:45:57 · 28 answers · asked by tonya_momma 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
There are many words in the english language with multiple meanings and a 3 year old can't be expected to know them.
Logically then...a black child of your son's age would have to learn to "filter" the word "cracker" from their vocabularly....in the presents of whites when dining out.
No, I would not tell my son that's a naughty word. The intention was not there and he isnt old enough and too innnocent to process abstract thinking of that nature.
You and your son understood the context it was meant in. I have a strong sense of social justice but this didn't trigger anything. It was so minor and loose of an interpretation. I wonder if you misinterpreted the "dirty look" ...like she might have been reacting to something her friend said.
A three year old doesnt have the language development or abstract thinking to turn a noun "spook" into an adjective form. This would be the requirement to make it a "directed insult". If so, he must be speaking very proper English for a three year old.
Remember, YOUR positive behaviors/interactions toward all races, creed, etc. will impact your son more positively... than teaching rules and boundaries to be applied ../ that implies ...that people should be separated, sorted, and treated differently. It sets up the foundation for feeling abused when all the deliniations are made.
Very interesting and thought provoking question.
2007-09-10 17:59:55 · answer #1 · answered by Steve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No he didn't. You were talking about a Halloween display, spooky is not disrespectful in that context and shows a child's innocence. I know you do not want the ladies to think bad of you and your son, however, under these circumstances, I think you did what was best for your son. Let him remain innocent for as long as possible!
2007-09-10 16:11:06 · answer #2 · answered by michelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to have innocent words taken the wrong way, particularly when you have no intention to offend.
On this occasion, your little chap obviously meant nothing wrong, so you have no need to feel awkward, you are not responsible for the way others react to an innocent remark made by a child.
It's also possible that you were being a little over-sensitive, and the ladies may not have been reacting to his comments but to something else, of which you were unaware.
However, as he gets older and you begin teaching him to watch what language he uses, such as no swear words, you will also show him by example that he needs to moderate his language in company.
Good luck and best wishes :-)
2007-09-10 16:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by thing55000 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like Steve's answer. I think this is an excellent question. My contribution is that offense is a two-way street. Offense can be intended, but it also has to be taken. Hopefully a wise person would realize that your son was talking about the display and not take offense where none was given. I'm also hoping that the woman was not reacting to your son but perhaps something that her friend said.
Good for you for wanting to teach your son respect for others. I'm sure that you'll do a lot with your example.
2007-09-10 18:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. Your son didn't say anything wrong or naughty in any way. If those women would allow themselves to get that worked up over something said by a child that young, then clearly they are the ones with the racist issues. If you had tried to explain anything to them it would have made the situation much worse.
2007-09-10 16:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by romer151 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, spooky is not a bad word in any way, and it is virtually impossible to use it as one unless you directly insult someone, for example, "you're spooky!" Besides, all that would mean is that the person the insult is directed to is scary.
So no, don't bring it up to your son or anyone else. Just smile at his cuteness and give him a kiss. ;)
Good luck!
2007-09-10 15:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by Mandy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, let it go. There is so much emphasis on racism today that sometimes it makes us white folks paranoid. We are so afraid of saying something wrong. Who knows why they gave you a dirty look, or if it was even directed at you and your son. Forget about it! When was the last time you heard that expression used, anyway. I'm sure the ladies paid no mind to it.
2007-09-10 16:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by DPL06351 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't tell him it's a naughty word, it's not. The ladies should have realized he's 3 for cryin' out loud. It's really kinda funny.
Before my sister had her baby 2 weeks ago she was showing my 2 year old her tummy and told him there was a baby in there. So now he goes up to every female, tries to lift their shirt and asks "baby tummy?"
Aren't kids fun?!!
2007-09-10 15:55:17 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Um, WHAT?!?
SPOOKY is not a naughty word.
I'd just ignore the ladies.
He was talking about the Halloween display, NOT THEM.
2007-09-11 05:35:31 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No explanation to them or your son was needed. Spooky is NOT a naughty word.
2007-09-10 15:51:52 · answer #10 · answered by Chris B 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋