I had surgery on Fri. and her Grandmother had to watch her. Her father was working and her uncle is there all day. I noticed a common rash on her rear end and on her vag. lips so I washed her up. While I was doing that I asked her if anyone had ever touched her down there(she said only grandma wne she washes her) I said ok no biggie she has to do that. I took her to my room to put some cream and powder on her and I noticed as I was checking her that inside her Vag. she was really red. I have never seen that before on her(or any of my other two daughters) I was kinda shocked. I said whoa you are really red and she said well tio(Uncle) touched me there and I asked her where and she pointed down there. Sometimes she tells tales.I dont wanna be that mom that calls my kid a liar. I dont know what to do...Please if anyone has had a situation like this please help.
2007-09-10 14:43:50 · 25 answers · asked by chellywelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, this is a tricky situation. I remember an incident I heard of where a mother discovered a scratch on her daughter's vagina, questioned her about it, and the girl named a boy in her class. The mother went to the school and was severely questioning them about not properly protecting her daughter. After some investigation, it turned out that the boy she named was retarded or autistic and could not have been the perpetrator. The girl was questioned again, and she named a teacher at the school. It turned out that the teacher had not even been there that day. The whole incident sprang out of the mother's frantic reaction, pressing her daughter for a culprit, so the girl named whoever she could think of first. She probably just scratched herself while masturbating.
However, what you describe does sound a little more suspicious. I would suggest you remain calm so as not to accidentally lead your daughter to make up something she thinks you want to hear. You could take her to a doctor for a checkup. If the symptoms do indicate abuse, a doctor should be able to identify it. However, be aware that a doctor is a mandated reporter. If he suspects abuse, he is required to report it to Child Protective Services or a similar agency. This could have serious repercussions. CPP gets a bit overzealous at times, and if the social worker thinks you aren't providing proper protection for your child, s/he could take the girl away from YOU while the case is decided.
It sounds like your little girl was not seriously traumatized by what happened (if something did happen). You could take the more cautious path and take this time to tell her that she has the right to decide what is done with her body, and that anyone who tells her different is trying to trick her. Tell her that if anyone touches her in a way she doesn't like she should tell an adult she trusts, like you. Tell her any promises not to tell that she gets talked into are more tricks, and she should always tell. Tell her father if you think he won't go off half-****** and pound the girl's uncle into the ground. Make sure she isn't left alone with anyone you're not absolutely sure of. If you have to leave her somewhere again, tell the people to be very careful and watch her closely because you suspect she may have been molested. If she always has two adults around, there shouldn't be an opportunity for more mischief.
2007-09-10 15:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should have no further doubt as to what happened. If you dismiss it, then you are worse than the Uncle. You need to be sure she is never again alone with him and sure he knows you are aware of it. You would be best off to report it to the police. Even if nothing else is done, it will at least be set a clear limit. Otherwise, with the passage of time and the natural tendencies within a family to forgive and forget, circumstances will turn his in his favor again. There may even be those who take his part. If you report it you will have it over with. If he ends up in jail, that's where he belongs.
2007-09-10 15:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by richard d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would do because a three year old would pro ably not come up with a tale like that is bring her to her doctor and see what they say I mean will look at it and if they think something happened they would do what they had to do but you need to go to the docs quick before time goes by the quicker the better I mean just tell the doctor you seen it asked her questions and tell them everything they will beable to help alot and then after the doc says that something is wrong go to the police so he can not do this to any one ever again
2007-09-10 14:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by MEMYMOM 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm almost 15, but I know that if I were in your shoes I would go on Google and research it. See what you come up with and if there are any sites that say what caused that. If you can't find any help on the web or start to think she may be telling the truth, talk to her uncle and confront him about it. It's better to be safe than sorry. Contact her doctor asap too, make sure it's no infection or anything.
'Hope you find the answer to it soon and everything works out!
2007-09-10 14:51:07 · answer #4 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to point fingers or name names, but I think it would be in the best interest of the child, and her safety, to call the police and report that you noticed it and what she said. And then take her to the nearest hospital for tests. If she got raped, they can find out, and also they can do kinda like finger prints, yes its' possible.
Please email me with the outcome, and if you need to talk also. Been there done that, it sucks..Don't play around :(
2007-09-11 05:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring her to a dr asap. They can check if her hymen has been broken. Although even if it's not doesn't mean someone hasn't been touching her. A counselor might be able to get that info from her better. Please take this seriously. This happened to my daughter when she was just able to talk and all she could tell me was "the big man touched me here" A highly recommended babysitters husband may have been the one but we'll never know since she was sooo young. We never brought her back to that babysitter and brought her to a pediatrician. Thankfully her hymen was not broken but I'll never know what may have happened. Please take her seriously. Good Luck and hopefully she was just telling tales.
2007-09-10 14:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by G 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Take your daughter to a doctor and have it checked out. This is a serious matter. My sister found out her husband was molesting not just other people's kids but her sons as well. She did not want to believe it when her brother in law told her about his daughter being molested and then ,his cousin came forward and knowing mom was going to support them her 3 sons came forward to. the doctor supported the boys they had been sexually abused
2007-09-10 14:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never take a chance in these situations.Get that child to a doctor immediately and have her checked.Then rip the Uncles nuts off with a pair of nail clippers.We all hope it never happens to our child but I do know I would not take the chance.Find out for sure.
2007-09-10 14:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by kittykitty 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously consider taking her to her pediatrician FAST. Like haul her in as soon as the office opens in the morning!
They would know best how to approach this.
They will probably use a swab to take some samples from inside... looking for genetic material.
If they find anything, they will let you know.
Be prepared to have Tio dragged in for DNA samples.
2007-09-10 14:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you are EXTREMELY concerned your FIRST move would be to take her to a doctor.
He can rule out a natural rash or bug bite and know if you truly have a case against them. But as more time goes by and the rash vanishing then the harder it is for you to have a case against them.
2007-09-10 14:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Pepsi 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋