How do I work on getting a close relationship with my real father?

Question

After many years of not really knowing or associating with my real father, I feel the need due to our age for us to be close or try to have a relationship of some kind.
For years my mother made me beleive that he didn't care much about being my father and my step father had always been there for me, so I should just forget about a relationship with my real father.
My step father, couldn't ever handle even the mention of my real father, so if I have anything to do with my real father, my step father will not understand and will get upset. So I have to keep it a secret if I have anything to do with my real father which makes hard to build anykind of relationship, if you know what I mean.
How would you work on this if you where me.
I do desire very much to have my real father in my life, but live in fear that if my step father finds out he will think I don't care anything about him anymore and my real father has always known this that is why he has always kept his distance.

I have had contact with my real father and he is the kind of man that doesn't want to be in the middle of hard feelings so that is why he has always kept his distance from me, although what you need to know is he is now in his late 60's and I am almost 46, and I thought it time we lay aside past issue's and just spend some time knowing one another, so not to have regrets.
my step father is just going to have to get over what his issues are about my real father even if he didn't fight for me.

Answer 1

If your "real" father really wanted a relationship with you, he would have fought for it. That's what a real father would do.
I have no doubt that there is a lot you don't know about him. If your mother and stepfather have been good parents, I would respect their opinion in this. They probably have good reasons.
If you do start seeing him regularly, be very very careful. There may be more at stake here even than upsetting your stepfather. Your father is actually a stranger to you. You don't know what kind of man he is.