My bf is like a drug?

Question

i just broke up with him. he ruined my self-esteem after becoming abusive and i know that if i stay with him he's going to cause even more damage to me.

we've broken up plenty of times and i always ended up going back. how do i find the strength to move on without needing him like a drug?

Answer 1

Listen to Kelly Clarkson's "Addicted." Then listen to all of Mandy Moore's new album "Wild Hope." Then a couple weeks later, listen to Kelly Clarkson's "Sober."
You can do this. Just surround yourself with POSITIVE people who love you. You deserve better for your life. Don't you think so? I hope so. You are a precious being and you don't deserve to be ravaged like an animal. You really don't. Let go, heal, and let some amazing man treat you right. Please.

Answer 2

Give yourself some alone time to grieve the loss of this relationship. Do not have any contact with him while your feelings are still in a state of confusion. Once an abuser quite often things will only get worse so think about your own mental and physical health. The heart is a strong instument and will heal itself, soon enough you hopefully will find someone else to fill this void and/or drug, and find someone who you can share your life with and will treat you with respect and honour. Best of luck to you and be strong and all will be good for you in the long run.

Answer 3

Try a REHAB. My X and I are the same way though. We have been broken up THIS TIME since last Tuesday. She came by today and we had a very nice conversation on the back porch. We were talking about going out to my cabin tomorrow evening and spending the night. I still am not sure if we are actually GOOD FOR EACH OTHER, but, I do know that I love her deeply and will just have to see what happens with our life.

Answer 4

You know what you need to do is sit down and on a sheet of paper write down all the bad things he did to you and moments in your life where he treated you bad and hang up that list on your dresser so you can be reminded of all the sh*t you have been through. Throw away all the pictures and all the stuff he ever gave you. Break-ups are so hard to take but don't expect to get over someone in a week...expect about a couple of months....but move on and step away from anything that might remind you of him....you need to see that you are way better off without him and there is someone just waiting for you who could give you want you need and deserve.

Answer 5

Wow that is almost the same problem my friend has right now. You see her boyfriend started controlling her, telling her who she could and could not hang out with, he even got her pregnant (she just got the abortion). and he is an asshole all around. What you need to see, just as she does. Is that this person you used to love, changed over time. You cant keep picturing them as they used to be, or what they say they have not become. You see what they are, and you know what they are. And if he is going to hurt you, no apologies can make that scar go away. Get him out of your life, move away, don't keep contact cause that only gives him a chance to drag you back in. Please, people can quit drugs, you can quit him.

Best of luck
~Taylor

Answer 6

Girl let it go. It he is abusive then you are right, it will only get worse. You can be strong and Im sure you are a beautiful young lady. Pray about it and ask God for strength and understanding. There are plenty fish in the sea. You deserve to be happy and you definitely deserve better.

Answer 7

it`s hard, I`m having the same problem w/ my sis in law, recently i told her her man is like a drug to her, and he`s supposedly married, that's the bigger issue. I don`t know what to say in this situation, i cross it all the time, what you need to realize first is that you don`t need him! that's your biggest mistake, you don`t need him, as long as you keep going back. he`s going to believe that you can`t live w/out him that's the worst thing you could let a man know, you need to find something else that will take you away from thinking about him, find a social group or women's group or some one you could confide in or talk to, secondly because i`m a man of GOD, pray, pray alot, find a church to go to, low self esteem is spirit you can`t just drop it off somewhere, you need the Lord to help you w/ this, I`m praying for you, i don`t know you, but i don`t want you end up in the news.

Answer 8

this best predictor of his future behavior is his past behavior, which is rude at best, and damages your self esteem.

Everytime you go back with him, you will be MORE damaged, more hurt. he isn't going to change, and you can't make him change.

you deserve better, but you have to MAKE that happen my moving on, not having second thoughts, not looking back.

You said he was like a drug - which i assume also means addictive. If so, that means that in some way, he reduces pain that you don't want to deal with.

So i think it would be good to start a journal about your feelings, about him, about why you go back, about what you want in a relationship, if you feel unworthy or if he just made you feel that way.

Answer 9

You sound like me! You just need to put it in your head that it is the best thing for you and do it. It will hurt for awhile..Trust me...but take one day and step at a time.
Hang out with a friend and see how you feel when you are laughing and having a good time and then imagine that's how it could be with a guy that treats you well and is not abusive.

It's gonna be hard at first but you can do it. BE STRONG!

Answer 10

If he abused you then it's not worth it. You need to be strong and move on. There are other guys out there that I'm sure will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. My ex-wife did the same thing to me. Abuse (verbal and physical) and the cheating on me behind my back almost made me go crazy. I confronted her about it and she left me over it. Now I'm dating the most wonderful girl in the world so see it can work out for you. Trust me when I say "Just be strong". Hope that helped.