Some parents raise there kids to not clean up after themselves, but what happens when they go into the real world and realize that things aren't handed to them, and people don't want to clean up after them? Should i feel stupid and selfish because i expect some respect?I live with my boyfriend and his lil bro, his little brother does nothing!! when he does laundry..he does his..he leaves his fast food trash on the table, and dishes wherever he is...Im 7 months pregnant and about to hit the roof with this kid. Am i over reacting??He also was not living with us for 2 months and just got home last night because he had a car accident and was staying with a buddy..now..if you go on vacation you can't tell your landlord you are skipping a week or rent or so..AM I WRONG HERE??we have tried to talk to him, but we shouldn't have to be parents to him, what should we do? I get called a neat freak blah blah blah..but i just do what is needed around the house!
2007-09-10 12:08:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Should you feel selfish and stupid because you expect some respect? Good question ... should you?
I know that if anyone did to me what your bf's brother is doing, he'd be out on his behind as quick as look at you.
No-one treats me like the maid, unless they're paying for maid service.
From what you say, I'm guessing he is not a minor, so he is legally old enough to leave home, so you don't have a responsibility to him.
As for your bf, what's his role in this? How come it's not his home too?
Or is he also expecting full time maid service, AND child rearing duties thrown in?
Truly, no-one will ever respect you until you respect yourself. You will only EVER get the respect you demand.
Stand up for yourself, and let these two little boys know that you are about to be a mother for real, so you no longer have time to play mummy to them.
They either behave like grown ups or find somewhere to live where they can have the lifestyle they prefer.
Is this the life you want for your child? You can choose, but time is running out. Every day makes it one day harder to stand up for youyrself.
If you need support, contact these people and talk things over:
http://www.letswrap.com/usadv/
If you don't feel in need of support, just tell them how it is and what the rules are.
PS: I don't think he should have to do anyone's washing but his own. Neither should you. people should do their own chores, but cleaning is everyone's job because everyone makes mess!
Good luck, and best wishes :-)
2007-09-10 12:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by thing55000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just how OLD IS this kid??? If he's older than 10, then he should be expected to clean up after himself and contribute to the "clean" running of the household. If you and your BF "own" the house, then lil'bro lives under YOUR rules. Take some wisdom from my mother's 3-word phrases:
-- Put it back.
-- Pick it up.
-- Clean it up.
-- Don't go empty-handed. (hyphenated words count as one!)
That covers most housekeeping situations. For the rest, just make it up as the situation arises.
Don't try talking to him, obviously he's not to be reasoned with. Don't REASON with him... TELL him... you either go by the rules of the house, or you're outta here.. PERIOD. Of course, it is vital that your BF be "with you" on this, or it will do no good.
Not only are you currently 7 mos pregnant, but even after the birth of the baby, you will have the baby to tend to, and you cannot run the entire household without the help of lil'bro. Does your BF also help out? If not, he's not setting a good example for lil'bro.
Anyway... as I said, lay down the law, or OUT he goes. He's got a "buddy" he stayed with once, he can bum off the buddy again.
Have a polite day!
2007-09-10 12:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by wyomugs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you and your bf should sit down and define acceptable and unacceptable behavior from your bf's brother? Present them to him and make a unified front. (Since it's his brother, your bf should take an active role in this.)
As for being accused of being a neat freak, etc, guess what? It's YOUR home and he's a visitor. He has no right to complain about the way you want to keep your house. If he doesn't want to abide by the rules, then perhaps it's time for him to find somewhere else to stay -- some place where being a pig is acceptable.
You will have your hands full with a newborn. You don't need to take care of two "children" -- especially if one is a grown adult. Lay down the law now so that, when the baby arrives, life is as smooth as possible.
Good luck and best wishes on your pregnancy.
2007-09-10 12:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by JC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it is your house, than it is your rules, PERIOD. You absolutely should make him clean, do chores and be responsible. He may not like you now for it, but later down the line, he will appreciate what you did because it will have helped to become a better man/adult. Continue to do what you are doing. Demand the respect and chores. He needs to learn responsibility. If you do not, he will grow up to expect everything to be given to him and wont even know how to keep a clean house. You are definately right. Plus, with you being pregnant, you should not be stressing out at all. Tell your boyfriend to take over for you and demand from his brother all that you are asking to be done. Good luck and do not stress. Let your bf do it from now on so you dont stress the baby. But make sure your bf does make is little bro do it!
2007-09-10 12:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by crystal nw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're an unmarried, pregnant woman, living in a place that charges by the week with your boyfriend and his "lil" brother who apparently is at least old enough to drive.
Look lady, you are destined for this type of life, and you might as well get used to picking up the trash until you wise up and get some order in your own life. You aren't going to change the people you hang with, they sound low class. Bit-ching and whining do little to make your life better and it is an embarrassing bore .
2007-09-10 12:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO. You deserve respect. Sit the boys down and give them a list of chores that they need to do each week. IE, Vacuum, sweep, dishes every other day.
You are not their mom, but unfortunately, sounds like you are going to have to train them.
You are pregnant. Even if you weren't I would tell you the same thing, but that makes me upset at your boyfriend that he won't listen to his pregnant girl. Just tell them what to do, don't ask. Imagine how life will be if you don't make him help now, diapers and a dirty house, oh no! You will loose your mind.
Good luck
(Congratulations too!!)
2007-09-10 12:44:04 · answer #6 · answered by FridaY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't like any of your names. Sorry! i would connect the names more like for example if i had a boy and girl i would name them Caleb and Carly. these girls at my middle school were twins and named Sabrina and Katrina.. but i hate those names. or you could do the A and B thing. my best friends are triplets and there names go A B C its pretty cool. I wish you luck! :)
2016-05-21 08:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a simple solution: you could move out and find more appropriate living arrangements. If this kid isn't paying rent, you (meaning people who are paying rent) could also ask him to find another place to live unless he agrees to follow certain rules.
2007-09-10 12:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out if he is not willing to do his share of the work, or ask him if he'd like to pay you to be his maid.
2007-09-10 14:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what was the conditions of him coming to live with you the first time and where is your partner on backing you with this.
regards
2007-09-10 12:20:27 · answer #10 · answered by candy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋