I've been with my boyfriend for last 5 years incl. 2 years living together.. Now I'm not attracted to him anymore while he's still crazy for me.I even forgot how he looked like when I travelled alone for a few months and didn't miss him at all..
He may be a great marriage material with great job, endless affection for me and reliable personality etc but we have different vision for the future. I want adventurous life while he's conserve and doesn't like activites.
but he's my best friend and we're living together and all my social circle in this country has been developed with him.
Practical things like shared flat contract etc makes it difficult as well. and I don't know how much it would hurt him if I break up with him...he'll be destroyed as im his only and the first love of his life..
Also there's no specific reason to break up either.. I am not seeing anyone nor going abroad..
but what should I do?? I dont see my future with him, i feel there must be someone right for me.
2007-09-10 11:52:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(1) Not all relationships are based upon romantic love. Companionship, friendship, and compatibility are perfectly fine things to base a long term, or marriage relationship on, so long as you understand that's what you're getting (and he may have to understand that too).
(2) Being in a relationship just for the sake of "intertia," though, isn't satisfying. You may eventually become bored, or irritable, or simply horny for passionate sex. Everything may be OK, but for how long?
(3) "In this country..." So are you a foreigner? That can certainly gum up everything, as you may or may not have family to support you if your friends / social circle is pushed away if you leave your bf.
(If you simply don't see your future with him, AND you're not socially compatible, then it sounds like you're in the relationship for intertia and not because you really want to be in the relationship.)
The ultimate question is, can YOU, yourself, have a long term relationship and be reasonably happy with this guy, even if there's no passion. Lots of people do it, and, although I used to think this was reprehensible, many of them live happy, fulfilling lives. It takes a special person to pull this off though.
2007-09-10 12:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not strange. What you're doing is a game that has little risk involved. If you flirt with him or something and he reacts the same way, you win. but if he does not react like how you wanted, its ok cause you know he's taken already. It's just like playing the slots in the casino. You expect yourself to loose and you get thrilled when you win. Be attracted to a single guy next time HAHAHAHA Good Luck.
2016-03-18 03:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to break up with him now.
it's going to hurt like hell for him.
but if you keep it going, it'll only hurt more when it does end.
"He may be a great marriage material with great job, endless affection for me and reliable personality etc but we have different vision for the future. I want adventurous life while he's conserve and doesn't like activities."
you'll never be happy with him, not really. to end up in a loveless marriage would be worse then ending it now.
this is going to sound stupid, but theres this book my mother gave to me (didn't read it forever cuz I hate self help kind of stuff, but it wasn't really that lame as I found out)
its called Date...or Soul Mate? How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less
Neil Clark Warren, PH.D
please look into it!!!!!!! I'm only 17, and I really liked it. I bought it for 5 of my friends, and have ordered like 6 more copies.
I gave it to a girl who went through what you are going through, only it was a 10 yr thing. it really helped her.
if it doesn't help you, I will leave Yahoo! answers, I'm that sure that book is that good!
here's a link!
http://bookstore.neilclarkwarren.com/readmore.asp?prod=17
2007-09-10 12:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by blue_eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that not being attracted to him anymore IS a reason for a breakup. You are going to have to sit him down and let him know everything you just posted her. He'll be hurt by it no doubt but he should know. The longer you stay with him the more attached he'll be. You need to think of his happiness too.
2007-09-10 11:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by Princess 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not being attracted to somebody is definately a reason for a breakup- my opinion. When you are married- you want to be attracted to the person.....
don't marry your best friend..... marry your best friend plus more.... you want it all.
2007-09-10 12:01:24 · answer #5 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A best friend is just that - a best friend! It is great that out of your relationship with him that he is now your best friend. Love him and respect him for that. Now just move on in your life and take your time in relationships and have fun!
2007-09-18 09:20:26 · answer #6 · answered by James H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is your friend most importantly and friends can talk about anything...you dony have to be mean and say he down right ugly but you can be nice and ask him if yall can play the field and see if its reallly meant to be but dont hurt him
2007-09-10 11:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by ღOMGღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk is the key...
communication...
speak w/ him. tell him how you feel.
don't shy away from the topic...
and be straight up and honest.
2007-09-10 11:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
idk but u prob break his heart... talk to him to see if he can be a lil more adventurous b4 u just leave him... if he trully loves u like u he'll try his best...then go from there
2007-09-10 11:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh my god. jesus thats exacytly how i feel. oh girl im so sorry. i know it sucks.
well stick with him he good for now.
im gonna hang in there
peace
2007-09-10 11:57:30 · answer #10 · answered by catherine m 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋