I have a family member that I have continually tried to set boundaries with yet she continues to run all over them and is being a bad influence on my kids. I can't keep my children from being around her, so how can I get her to respect my wishes without losing my cool?
2007-09-10 08:51:42 · 8 answers · asked by Greywolf 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
These issues are related to the previous question I left in the parenting section. The family member isn't respecting my rules for my kids. Specifics are on the othe rquestion. My problem is I feel like I've ran out of decent options to get this woman to understand.
2007-09-10 08:59:10 · update #1
I can't keep my children from her because it's my husbands oldest daughter who lives next door and is home all day where as I work away from home and don't get home until 5 or after. She meets them when they get off the bus along with her 5 y/o.
2007-09-10 09:01:46 · update #2
So, your boundary setting hasn't been effective if she's running over them. Have you flat-out told her what your concerns are, and what you'll have to do if she continues being a bad influence?
Just curious, why CAN'T you keep your children away from her if this concerns you so much?
EDIT: So you're willing to downgrade your concerns to keep the peace with your husband, and so your kids have a babysitter after school? This will be cold comfort if god forbid something happens to your kids. Make other arrangements.
2007-09-10 08:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by TLH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know there are some people in this world who just don't get the picture and you have to confront them head on. These are your kids and she is your family member. If you really believe she is a bad influence then tell her so and if it means you have to keep them away then do it. You have to decide what is best for "YOUR KIDS". Will it be to spend time with this family member who totally disrespects you in every way or to stay away from this person until your kids are old enough to formulate their own opinion of her. Make the call and stop being a wuss about it.
2007-09-10 09:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by Carlos C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Greywolf - you've set boundaries but now you need to take some action. If you told your children to do something and they didn't do it you would punish them. You would let them know that there were consequences to their actions.
Now you need to let this person know there are consequences to her actions - sometimes talking is just not enough. Tell her, if you don't respect my rules, you will have to leave. Be firm and clearly explain what you expect. Then, if she doesn't follow your rules, politely ask her to leave your home. Let her know that she is welcomed back when she follows your rules in your house!
2007-09-10 09:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just checking to make sure I understand the situation correctly: this person watches your children for you after school until you get home. Is that correct? In that case, the solution is simple: get another person to do your daycare.
2007-09-10 12:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that if she can't respect your wishes your not going to allow your kids to hang around her anymore. (You don't want her to be a bad influence on your kids.)
2007-09-10 09:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Hot Chocolate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many individuals use worry and intimidation to get what they wish throughout. for illustration announcing 'excuse me please' is not as affective as announcing 'CAN YOU MOVE OUT THE ******* WAY!'. although it is not as first-class as excuse me, it intimidates individuals and they're much more likely to do what you wish.
2016-09-05 09:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by widdison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't invite her over. Is she an alcoholic? Or are these religious issues you are dealing with?
2007-09-10 08:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
punch faces.
2007-09-10 08:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by roflcopter_candytrain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋