This is happened to me many times. I am beginning to see that there is a lesson here for me. The first lesson is that their problem is not about me. The second lesson is that I can't change anyone else, only myself and my reactions. The third lesson is that people who do this regularly are hurting and being triggered in some way and since I too know hurt and being triggered, I should try to be understanding (this one is very hard for me). And yet another lesson is to not allow those people to be abusive towards me and put up boundaries when I feel it is necessary. Have you discovered any other lessons from having this experience? Thanks for sharing.
2007-09-10 08:17:07 · 19 answers · asked by NONAME 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I step back for a few, then I ask myself did I do something to make them mad at me? If so, then what is it? If I do not know that answer, then I go to that person that is upset with me and ask them, what I have done wrong. I do care, if I made someones life miserable, intentionally or not. I try the best that I can to clear up any and all misunderstandings.
(Please take a moment to refer to the blog comment I left to you, thank you) http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-DQzeUqw7daiQFEO95l0tLSFb.p8-?cq=1&p=9#comments
But in this case, between me and you, I do not know what it is that I have done to make you think that I am a "child molester" that post "nude pictures" that you are "sick of seeing"
You classify "Trolls" to being that certain type of person. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak3m26xlVW4NXSQL2nZYvf3ty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070907091509AAaPgFZ&show=7#profile-info-9df77ae12f17971731e9883919813c91aa Then you went and called me one of those troll. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnapzoYn9rEP1Nvpmx4tJgrty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070906182958AAXKFZr&show=7#profile-info-LlvxiDHCaa
You bet I'm mad.
I don't hate you, and I am not insecure about anything.
I am just mad. YOU won't make yourself clear to me on why I was put in the classification of being a child molester, nude picture posting troll.
My problem, is because OF YOU. You made a slanderous motion against me. YOU won't clear it up. So until then, I will remain upset at you. Learn your lesson quickly. I may I suggest that you don't start something unless you know for a fact that you got your fact straight! Because YOU are in the wrong. Because I AM NOT A CHILD MOLESTING, NUDE PHOTO POSTING TROLL!!!!!!!!
Well, that is my reaction, to get to the bottom of it. What's your way of dealing with my reaction? Will you do your best to clear YOUR misunderstanding up? Or block me.....again?
2007-09-10 09:46:18 · answer #1 · answered by †↓ѕіѕтея•матуІdа↓† 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, The problem is also about you and fail to recognise it, most people will place blame on others. Second, partially true, you can change yourself so others will change to treat you different. Third, All involved are hurting and all involved are being triggered, so this one is correct.
The lesson you should really learn is that putting up boundaries is never necessary, it will keep you from really learning about yourself fully and knowing when you have actually changed yourself by it stopping on it's own. So never put boundaries or blocks on anything otherwise it will continue when the opportunity arises.
Yes, I have discovered lessons from your experience, People will place blame on others, just so that that one will not recognise the problem lies within ones self.
I hope this helps you and any others in some way that is positive.
I react with enthusiasm, I learn more about myself and what I must change, to correct and become a better person by being more positive so this type of behaviour doesn't happen again.
If you still don't understand, You are the one with insecurity and hate and attracted that experience from another with the same thoughts and emotions
2007-09-11 04:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by getaclue 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, when you targeted me and said that we reap what we sow I just blew it off. Kind of interesting you would post this question after that.
Since you ask:
All people are going to be jerks occasionally. Some people are going to be jerks more often than others.
I have a jerk constantly e-mailing me under a variety of names, and getting best answer to the question I asked about him. Now who voted for him I wonder?
There are three consistent things in his e-mails.
He is always insulting. He always claims he is never insulting. He always claims that I think my opinions are better than his opinion.
Obviously how much "better" an opinion is itself an opinion and everyone has opinions. Which is "better" depends on the readers opinion, not the writers. I figure this is what thumbs up and down are for, agree, disagree, admire, etc.
When someone tells me I think my opinion is "better" than theirs, I usually ask myself how they might define "better".
In general I find people think opinions that agree with their own, or, are well written and well researched to be "better". This is not always the case.
I think sometimes we write well researched, well written obviously well thought out opinions that oppose someone else's opinion. The person cannot debate the position we have taken, or the opinion expressed, so they attack us.
I think you should be flattered.
You have probably written an opinion that challenged someone so much that they could not do anything except attack you, or, change their belief system.
What I am doing, and it would be obvious to any educated person, is continuing the dialog. I stay on focus, demanding that the person identify exactly what is they want to achieve with the communication and what they expect to get from that achievement.
I also insult him tit for tat. Sometimes the old testament guidelines are useful and fun :-)
These attacks are pleas for help. Sometimes they are violent and difficult to handle. If you have issues dealing with them you shouldn't.
Not all of us can handle violent, disgusting offenders so society hires people to deal with them. Sometimes we can, and I think that when we can help people we should try.
Maybe we will fail to help them. Maybe we won't. We won't know unless we try.
If we fail or can't help, believe me, you will get another chance to help someone and you can try again.
PS: jayceeinspect, great answer. Thank you.
2007-09-10 08:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I usually do a "consider the source" and 95% of the time it means I can shrug it off, because it's THEIR problem and not MINE.
If I start hearing the same thing from multiple sources, however, I need to take a look and see if there's any validity to what is being said. Doesn't necessarily mean that it is valid, but it means that it bears looking into.
2007-09-10 08:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I have I learned that my hate of others wasn't because of them. It was because of my envy of them or the way they were thinking that I didn't agree with. I learned that if they were a corpse I could be totally content. Why? their body would still exist, but the stinking thinking that the world programs into us would be in hell with them, where it is designed to take us.
I also learned I cannot change people, places, or things. But I can change what I choose to dwell on. I can choose to dwell on going to prison without the possibility of parole or I can choose to dwell on winning the lottery. Worry what others think of you only makes you societies puppets and the blind leading the blind. I have been there most of my life and realize now that the majority use to think the world was flat. So now it's okay to let them have their misconceptions without letting it bother me into their control.But I have alot of work to do yet as well. Take care and may God bless you spiritually.
2007-09-10 08:36:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your thinking is one of a very intelligent and positive person!
First I try to calm down...to build my answer. I am sometimes stunned by the stupidity.
Second, I try to see the abusive behavior as a challenge. Peace is a conquest, not only an ideal.
http://marlotte.reallifelog.com
2007-09-10 08:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Pour la Paix. 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Evidently someone hurt you in some way and you think I had something to do with it. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Was I a target because of your insecurity and hate?
Thanks for the e-mail sweetie. Ancient history as far as I am concerned.
2007-09-10 08:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I simply deny them the pleasure of reacting how they want me to react. After all, what they're usually after is a negative reaction in an attempt to bring someone down.
2007-09-10 08:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by Deof Movestofca 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe your "lessons" include absolutely no indication that maybe, just maybe, some of the reactions you're received have been warranted.
Some things are your fault.
Some are not.
That's the distinction you need to make.
2007-09-10 08:36:37 · answer #9 · answered by LabGrrl 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First, I evaluate their insults to see if there is any truth, any personal growth issues that I need to work on. If not, I usually feel sorry for them, and figure it's more about them than about me. I try not to hold it against them, but I am less open and vulnerable around them after that.
2007-09-10 08:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋