...he needs space and time? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months and we are having a tough time. He thinks that he has changed and may not want to be in this relationship anymore. He said that he needed time and space. I told him I would give it to him, but now I am afraid to call him because he said that he wanted time away from eachother so he could think. He asked me if I thought we should still be together, and I said yes. He said that he feels like he has changed and doesn't know what's going on. Now I feel like I am suppose to wait around for him to call me a couple weeks down the road, and hope that he decided to stay with me. He doesn't know how much power he has over this relationship right now. He is making the decision that will make or break this relationship, and I am suppose to wait around for him to make that decision? Wouldn't u think he would want to hang out with me so he doesn't forget what he likes about me while he makes the decision? any suggestions
2007-09-10 07:30:24 · 40 answers · asked by Mandy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It depends on the guy. For _most_ guys I know, this is what they say when they have someone else in whom they are interested, but they want to break up with you first because they figure the other person wouldn't want to be the "other woman".
in _some_ cases, the guy is having some sort of serious issues in his life, and wants some peace and quiet, without someone calling him all the time, wanting to be together all the time, talking all the time around him, etc. so that he can think and try to figure out what he wants. Even in this case, however, the guy in general has reached the point where he really would rather be alone than remain in the relationship.
There are probably guys who also just want to be left alone to think and, after that time, decide not to move on, or at least regret having decided to ask for time and space.
In all the cases, what the guy has asked you to do when he says this is "don't come over, don't call, don't IM, etc." If you happen to bump into each other accidentally, say hi pleasantly. I would think it is time to start thinking about what you want to do next. And generally, when I talk to people in this situation, I advise them to take some alone time themselves, to try to figure out how to change up some things in their lives, to get some of those "dusty corners" in their lives cleaned up, and to get a fresh and positive outlook on life - then when someone new appears in your life, you are not sitting around in mourning over the breakup (which is a real downer to the new person in your life).
2007-09-10 07:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by Larry V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waiting for someone to make up their mind about whether they want to be with you or not makes you feel helpless, and by doing so you give them all of the power in the situation. You can only control you, so start making your own decisions. Don't go looking for another guy, but start making your own plans in life. Ask yourself what you would do if you weren't in a relationship. Would you continue your education? Would you travel and make new friends? By waiting for your boyfriend to arrive at a decision you are putting your entire life on hold. Don't sit around and make yourself completely available to your boyfriend. Be strong . Be independent, and have your own agenda. Many things in life are all about balance. When your boyfriend steps back to take his time and space, and you're the one left holding all of the feelings and the desire for the relationship, that's an imbalance. If he's taking time to think, then you do the same. Don't just think about how much you miss him, honestly consider whether this is what you really want.
2007-09-10 07:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by mt75689 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well girl I do have to give your man some props because I recently came out of a one year relationship...but in this case your man did tell you what was going on as for me he didn't he just stoped calling me and its been a week now that I haven't talked to him or know any news...but going back to your question...I mean 7 months is not long, so what has been his longest relationship?? well he might want some time off so respect his decision don't call him at all even though is killing you inside...you should also think if you want this relationship to continue take this time to go out with your friends...I know is hard, but your stronger than you think...
2007-09-10 07:39:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl you cant let a guy bring you down, it could mean he likes you and it could mean he just want to be casual and date other girls. You need to work on building yourself up and not let a guy decide your fate ok, once you do that no guy can really hurt you, know who you are and what you want, but most important know what you cant put up with and wont tolerate from a guy, if you know this you will never ask the question you just asked again. Most guys 50% are more won be serious with girl for a while so take it slow and watch with your eyes and ears, the truth is in the pudding meaning if you hang around him long enough and pay attention you wll find out his real motive. GOOD LUCK!
2016-05-21 05:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to let him have his space. If you start calling him then he will think that you're needy if he's having commitment issues, it might scare him off. If he says he needs time and space let him have it to realize how great you are. Remember that whole thing about absence making the heart grow fonder? Play it cool. It may seem agonizing, but wait it out. Just don't wait too long. If he doesn't call you after what ever amount of time you agreed on, get on with your life. It's one thing to take some space to make sure you still want to be in the relationship, but it would be unfair of him to leave you hanging. Definitely don't let yourself be miserable, if he doesn't get back to you soon, he is not for you.
2007-09-10 07:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by Laurabelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him have his time and i think being away from some one that you really want only makes you want that person more you definitely don't forget the qualities that you love of that person. I recently went through something similar and very different because there is a child involved and i couldn't just walk out on the child but i did give the space he asked for and i think it's going on two months and thinks are working themselves back to normal and very slowly i don't know you just have to wait around but by all means don't stop your life
go on go out go about your own stuff like that if he decides your not what he wants anymore then you'll already have things going on for you again....
2007-09-10 07:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by Violet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like he might have met someone else and keeping you hanging in case the other one doesn't work out.I may be wrong,but in most cases after you have been together this long and bf wants space....it means they want out of the relationship for some reason or they are interested in someone new.I would not call him! Go out with your friends and start something new.If he calls don't jump on it...you had to wait and wonder...so let him see how it feels!Now,if he really loves you...you should feel it,but if you have any doubt....move on. Best wishes!
2007-09-10 07:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by ana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he thinks he might want to break up with you, but he isn't sure yet. Although when people separate like this, they almost always end up breaking up, even if they aren't sure about it when they first separate.
If he tells you that he needs space and time, then you probably shouldn't call him the very next day. But if you want, you could wait a week, then it'd be ok for you to call him, if he hasn't called you yet. If you give him a week, that should be plenty of space and time. Then you could press him for an answer. If he's going to break up with you, he ought to let you know sooner rather than later, so you can move on, rather than waste your time waiting for him.
2007-09-10 12:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a guy says that he needs some space it is usually not good. He probably has moved on. Just let him be but dont just wait around for his call. Go out and have fun. Get the girls together and go out. Give it a couple of weeks and if you dont hear anything from him, move on.
2007-09-10 07:39:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me he knows...... i think he's already made up his mind, but found an easy way out by saying "i need some time"!
If he still wanted to be with you, he wouldve called and made the effort to still keep you around and close... If he apparently doesn't make that effort, then he has clearly moved on... and so should you....
Or if he's like a lot of people, he wants to go out and have a great time and still wants you to sit at home and wait until he's "ready!"
People don't act like that on purpose, but i think subconciously, that what they want.... to know that if being "free" doesn't go as well as they had hoped, that there's always someone they can go back to... don't let someone else dictate your happiness....
2007-09-10 07:37:34 · answer #10 · answered by russiansgirl5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋