I want a baby! but bf doesn't?

Question

I've wanted a baby for ages now, I'm 20 and been with my b/f for 3ish years. We do want kids but he keeps sayin 'just not yet'.

However I have such strong broody feelings and he is not helping! He points babies out to me when were out and tiny baby clothes. I'm torn inside by my desire to have a baby now. I know I'm strong enough to wait, but I'd like some suggestions to make it easier or help to persuede him otherwise.

Answer 1

you're too young and you're not married and he doesn't want one...i think it's obvious.

Answer 2

Watch the talk shows and the judge shows for a week. Most of what is there is unmarried couples who have babies and are now fighting over money. Few of the guys pay child support.

If you have a baby now without being married it will be tough being a single mother. You might want a baby now, but will you want a kindergartener when you are 26? It never goes away, and neither does the fighting with him, over child support and visitation.

Suppose after you have a baby the next man you adore isn't that psyched over taking on another man's child? I am talking like this because you have not mentioned wanting to get married. The assumption is you will break up someday.

You might be "broody" (what a disgusting term). Go get a job in a daycare.

Answer 3

Like you i really want a baby, im only 19 but that doesnt change a thing to me.
I dont see my people keep saying your too young, no one is too young. If you have thought about it and really want this then why not! but then there is the fact that ya bf isnt quite ready yet and this is a big factor, give him time I know it will be difficult waiting and I know that when you see baby clothes and little babies in prams being pushed by their mothers you will probably feel slightly envious but you are still young and have plenty of time to have a baby of your own.
Giving it a year or so will prepare you more, it will give you time to plan and hopefully over time your fellow will grow on the idea of having a baby.
Good luck with it all and remember to be patient i'm sure that eventually he will come round just dont push him into it or you may lose him.

Answer 4

OK I have to be harsh here... you need a reality check... you are only 20, you are a baby yourself. You have such a lot of life ahead iof you before you settle down and have children for goodness sake.
You go and talk to people who have had kids at 19/20/21 year old, see how they feel after they had them, see if the 'father' is still there or if he buggared off after the deed was done...
Have you no friends for whom you could babysit?
At least that way, you get to give them back!!

Its absolutely heart rending to go into shops and see all the lovely baby clothes, granted. Have you any idea how long babies stay in those clothes? Not long. They grow so quickly... into little monsters that go round screaming trying to get their own way, run you ragged, answer you back, get you sent to jail cos they wont go to school. Argue with you, throw tantrums...and thats up to the age of 7!!!!!

Please dont be too quick at throwing your life away..Have you no ambition to travel or anything like that? Once you have kids, thats all out the window you know!

And one thing I am urging you NOT TO DO , no matter how tempoting you may think it is .. DONT trap your man into anything... That will NEVER work, and at its very best will bring you a heap of heartache.

When the time is right for you to be a Mum, Im sure you will be a perfect one; just please try and wait. You will get your baby, when its the right time for you. Just make sure you are ready when that day comes!!
GOOD LUCK! to you and yours.
And when he tells you NO believe me, it might not seem like it at the time, but he is being a very sensible young man indeed

Answer 5

I was married for only 3 months when I got pregnant (I was a lot older than you so the circumstances were very different), however, under different conditions I'd have loved to have waited to spend time with my new hubby, have long holidays, lie ins at the weekend etc. Don't get me wrong, having children is wonderful but such hard work! My advice to you is to enjoy your youth while you can - I know it's hard when you're broody, but think about all the fun you can have while you still can, and live your life to the full before you're responsible for someone else's!

Answer 6

My wife is a college student and she wants to have a baby. She is 25 and complains about wanting a child. I am 37 and I told her I think we should wait. We both want kids, but I know that now is not the right time to begin the road of parenthood. For one thing, we are not financially prepared, but she says nobody really is and she gets impatient. I am not waiting to hit the powerball but I'd like us to be more prepared than this. I'd like her to complete college (in 3 years). We are a lesbian couple (been together 3 years and are married now) and we have selected our donor of choice and some day we will get out the turkey baster and begin pregnancy. My god she's such a beautiful woman and it makes us both sad that she cannot have MY child even though we'd love one of OUR own. But I know that just because you want a baby doesn't mean you're ready for it. I am sure your man loves you and wants a baby with you in due time. But tell him not to point out babies and baby clothes if he's not ready because it's not fair and it only makes you sad.

Answer 7

takes two to tango!! If he does not want a baby now tricking him will not change his mind and the baby will be with you for a very long time. If this is a big thing for you perhaps you need a change of bf! If you find one that is in the same stage of life as you all things are possible. If he is the one for you then you must respect his decision and wait until he is good and ready.

As a mum of three I know babies are very hard work, but worth it, I would not have managed without a very supportive husband to help me along the way.

Any baby you have deserves the best and that includes being wanted and loved by both parents.

Answer 8

i know its hard but you have to wait until he is ready to. it takes two to make a baby, if one parent isnt happy then they could end up resenting the baby and the relationship might have too much pressure to make it last. you still have plenty of time to have babies with him, right now concentrate on enjoying your life while you still can and build up on all the things you will need to provide a baby with such as money, house, a car etc. as for your boyfriend pointing things out to you, it sounds like hes rubbing it in your face and thats not nice at all. you need to talk to him about this and ask him if he does ever want children with you, as this could be a game to him right now. you need to work out what you both want from life and decide from there. without a plan together its going to be very hard to get what you want. if you keep waiting your broodiness will become stronger and if so later on down the line, you will know it was the right choice you wanted and the wait will have been worth it. build up your relationship and be young and free for as long as possible then bring up the subject again. if he keeps putting it off, you might have to accept it wont happen either at all or for a very long time with him. how would this make you feel? would you be willing to wait another 5 years to have a baby with him when hes fully ready? if not consider what your even getting from this relationship, if anything and rethink what you want to do. as i partly think its about the relationship as well as your desire for a baby. if its meant to happen it will so dont worry keep holding on to the dream, i know how it feels ive wanted a baby for over 5 years and im still waiting for the 'right' moment. good luck

Answer 9

I think he's right not to want kids yet, but he's cruel winding you up about it. Have a word with him and tell him to stop!

I'm in my mid-twenties and have been broody for a while but I'd much rather be in a better position before having kids.

I think the most important thing is to secure the environment that your child will be brought up in, i.e. income, house, relationship, future plans.

If your boyfriend isn't ready then you're not ready as a couple. You should only have children when you're both in it whole heartedly. You CAN'T 'persuade' someone to have a child with you, why would you want to??

There's no rush, focus on other things for a few years. You're still young!!!

Answer 10

You cant persuede someone who isnt ready for something that Big. Besides it would probably come back to bite you in the butt later! Any little fights you might have on later.. he might bring it up all the time.. how he wasnt ready and you pushed him into it. I know its hard.. but you really do have to wait until he is ready.. and I know you dont want to hear this.. and alot of people will say it.. but you are too young. You still have alot of time to have babies.. and when the timing is right and the Good Lord wants you to have one.. then you will :)

Answer 11

You'll kind of need his assistance in order to become pregnant, until then keep in mind you have MANY years to make your baby dreams come true, I'm 27 and on my first and in no way shape or form do I regret waiting this long. It is a beautiful thing to bring a babe in this world, but also alot of work and not something that can entered upon lightly, make sure you want to spend the rest of your life with your mate and try and live up your younger years before they slip away.