People Who Touch Your Hair?

Question

I know this is a strange question, but it's a strange situation. I have very long, thick hair. I often get compliments on it. That is no problem. The problem is that some people (my co-workers and even some customers or total strangers!) seem to feel it is OK to say, "Oh, your hair is so pretty." and then grab a handful of it! Occasionally a co-worker or acquaintance will come up behind me and start braiding it without my permission.

How do I handle this? I consider it the same as if they were touching me without my permission, but apparently other people seem to think that hair doesn't count as a body part. I don't want to make a scene, but I really don't like it. Usually I just move far enough away they have to let go or risk pulling my hair. But I hate being so passive!

How can I politely but firmly tell these people to get their hands off my hair?

Answer 1

Wow... I've never touched a stranger's hair. I sometimes touch my friends, but I always motion my hands in slow motion, giving them ample time to stop me.

I do that step back thing too! I usually laugh nervously and back a step away. I don't like people poking me (I'm notoriously ticklelish), and when people, even strangers, poke me, I step back and give them a slight warning look. They always know to back up. Of course, I don't keep looking that way. I smile and continue on, as if they didn't poke me in the first place, so I don't make them feel bad. It's all about the warning look.

I guess since they have a firm grip on your hair, it's a little difficult. I would probably play with their fingers until they let go. Playing with their fingers, gently wrestling their fingers off of yours will surprise them, giving you time to say something. Then politely remind them that you don't like people touching my hair, but you'll let it go, "just this once", especially if they were strangers. If my co-workers keep touching my hair, I'll remind them again, then have a talk with them, and at a worst case scenario, threaten to file a sexual harassment suit on them.

Nobody has to feel a certain way because of the way you look.

Answer 2

omg! this use to happen to me all the time when I was in school all the way from elementary to high school I used to HATE it. You don't know where their hands have been! they could be all dirty or greasy then you start to get all grossed out. it would just creep me out. I would pull my hair out of their hand and just say "I don't like it when people touch my hair. Sorry but it gives me the chills." or " Are your hands clean?" or "can I have my hair back please?" or " Sorry but it bothers me when people touch my hair" or "I've noticed that with people touching my hair I end up with alot of split ends so can you please not do it anymore?" If they keep doing it then you gotta get a little mean. I remember this one girl used to always flip my hair after I had told her to stop when she went to do it again I said " LOOK! I already told you to stop if you do it again I'm gonna pull your hair hard!" She thought I was playing and did it again later that day so I turned around and pulled her hair hella hard...I mean hard! she got mad but I said "I told you what would happen so it's your own fault." Ewwwww just remembering bout all those hands is creeping me out! hope this helps!

Answer 3

I feel the same way!!

Telling them to don't touch it blankly will make them get offended or think you are up in your self even if they don't show it.

I often say "No don't, I don't want it to get messed up. I just got it _______" [calmly and without being tense]

Sometime just say "No, don't" or "Please,don't" and pull away at the same time with a smile. Eventually, if you do it all the time, your aquantances will get the clue you don't like when people touch your hair without thinking you are annoyed.

Don't ever say "Don't touch it or don't touch my hair, when you don't identify the direct object it comes of less offensive]

-Hair is dead..... you don't feel it when they touch it so it's not the same as a body part. lol! Like nails.

Answer 4

I agree with you that it is like touching another body part. The first time someone does it, simply say, "I'm sorry; I don't feel comfortable with that." If the person persists in touching when you have made this clear, report it to the boss.

Answer 5

I have the same problem. I have long, thick, curly hair, and people (especially old ladies), seem to always want to touch it. I just try to be friendly and discretely move a bit away. What I really want to do, is just scream, "don't touch me!". lol

Answer 6

I think I'd be inclined to take a more passive approach and wear it pulled back/braided, or just somehow close to my head, to make people less aware that it's there. An out of sight out of mind kind of thing. In the case of coworkers or people who you see often, who touch your hair, I'd just come out and say, "thanks Jane, but it gets tangled really easily if people monkey with it, so I prefer that it be left hanging straight., and if people didn't touch it. Thanks for the complilment though!" Good luck.

Answer 7

Take it as a compliment, people always want to touch me too, I don't take offence. It's like the old saying about animals and babies are attracted to a good heart. I thank God for giving me this auora that makes people feel at ease, and it wouldn't be right for me to shun them when they obviously need a hug.

Answer 8

Omg specific! I consistently pass it to diverse factors with my arms and gently tug at it. My well-known factor to do is placed my hand on my brow and slide it from the decrease back of my head to my hair.

Answer 9

I definitely have this same problem. My hair comes to my waist and is like crazy thick. I just pull away very slightly and say something like can you please not touch my hair, I don't like it. If they keep doing it you could embarrass them by yelling out HARASSMENT!!! or something.

Answer 10

Say, "My baby wouldn't like to see you do that." And smile really big and walk away. It used to happen to me all the time, even when I shaved most of it off.