I have a girl I've been dating for 9 months now and we've moved into an apartment in college together but we both feel kinda bored of each other and she says its not like it used to be...she met up with her ex before she came here but she cut it short to hang out with me...I found that out yesterday...and I kinda miss my ex in a way too but I don't want to lose the girl I have now either! I have 2 classes with her also...I'm 20 and she's 18 what should I do?
2007-09-10 05:48:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, first of all I am now 24 and went thru college and dating at that time too. I am now married and have a baby girl, so I think I will be able to give you a bit of advice that might help. You both are still very young, and I know that sounds stupid coming from someone only a few years older than you, but trust me in about two years you will know what I mean. You are about to hit a time in your life that everything changes and so will your feelings. I went thru some really bad relationships in college and I think the best thing to do for each of you is to maybe take a break from dating. Still continue to be roommates but see what else there is in life besides each other. This will accomplish more than one problem. It allows you to still be close to each other and share each other's company and companionship in a friendly way without the hassle of having feelings for someone else. Next it allows you to explore those feelings you both have for your exes and see what comes of that. This way neither one of you have to feel guilty and you may find that by not being together it just makes you want each other even more and those other feelings will just dissapear. Because there is nothing worse than being in a relationship while still wondering "what if" about your ex! I really hope some of this helps with your situation.
2007-09-10 06:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by jt1107swt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You forgot one important detail...Do you love each other?
You are both young and probably need to focus on school and having a good time more than anything. Also any couple will tell you that it is easy to get bored with each other if you don't make an effort to keep things working and that takes love. If you really love each other than you have ups and downs in a relationship but you ride it out because you can't imagine life without them. I think guys have a tendency to get comfortable in a relationship and sometimes let the little things go that are important to a woman to make her feel special. Maybe you should both talk about what you want out of the relationship, your future together, etc.. and find out where you both stand. If she visited her ex and you are missing your ex than maybe it's time to take a deeper look.
You should be careful also that she didn't tell you before hand that she would be spending time with her ex. Good luck!
2007-09-10 13:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex is an EX for a reason. To think about that. And the bored part. That happens to everyone. You just have to start doing things out of the ordinary. Do spontaneous things you once did together. Try something you both have never done before. It's the element of surprise that keeps things excited and intriguing. But the boredom factor will always be there. Just keep in mind the reasons why you're with this person. And ask her for the same in return. Ask her what's her retrospect with her ex and see from there whether you really want something with this girl. Good luck!!
2007-09-10 12:56:53 · answer #3 · answered by LadyD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you are getting bored already then you need to start pursuing her again. Take her out, leave her little notes taped to the fridge or even in the fridge stuck to her favorite drink, or special treat that you know she loves, do something to reming her and yourself of the fact that you dont want to lose the one you have now, and that she made the right decision and so did you. Do all of these things in the right spirit, dont get angry or resentful if it takes a week or two for her to feel more loving, and remember, when you first move in with someone are the most crucial, moments there is an adjustment period and you CAN make it through it but you have to work on it.
2007-09-10 12:54:24 · answer #4 · answered by imachevygirl2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do some thing romantic and random for her like when she leaves for class or some thing leave a bunch of flowers on her bed with a card saying i love you and cant wait for tonight and make sure she is home b4 you then when u get home get dressed and take her for a walk through the park or dinner or a movie or some thing :) she will just love it
2007-09-10 12:52:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with moving in with her. What ahs happenend is normal. You have both gotten too comfortable and this happens to couple far too often. You need to start planning nights out. It does not have to involve lots of money. Even spur of the moment things just to change it up
2007-09-10 12:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should realize that moving in with someone you have only known for less than 9 months is very unwise.
it takes a well over a year (sometimes longer) to get to know a person, and to make a HEALTHY decision about living together.
2007-09-10 12:51:43 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young and in college, move on. Obviously your relationship isn't that strong or you both would be happy. It seems pointless for the 2 of you to remain in a committed serious relationship.
2007-09-10 12:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you both need another room mate to fire things back up....get your other girl friend to move in with yall and all 3 of yall can have some fun...and to if she needs her ex there all 4 could have some fun and keep things from getting bored...now that's an idea i think...good luck
2007-09-10 12:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the relationship more interesting, take a vacation with just you and her, Spend the while day together, do something romantic....And if it is still boring to be with her, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Best of wishes.
2007-09-10 12:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by mel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋