2 years ago my mom died through cardiac arrest and until now i keep?

Question

on blaming my self what have i done wrong why God took away my mom?I do really miss her so bad i always dream of her almost every night.
What shall i do to ease my loneliness?

Answer 1

It's hard losing your Mom, I am so sorry. Look at things this way, she is in a better place and she doesn't have to suffer any more. Her physical body is gone but her spirit still lives. Just think about the good times you shared with her and remember what she taught you in live, it is OK for you to still talk to her. I bet her spirit is around you all the time, she doesn't want you to suffer, she would want you to be strong.

Answer 2

My mom just passed away too from cancer. I feel the same way as you at times. What you have to keep in mind is that God doesn't take away people to hurt us. People have to die. God promises us lots of things, but living forever isn't one of them. You cannot blame God or yourself for your mom's death. It is a sad and tragic event, but its part of life. I promise you I am not trying to sound mean, but I don't want you to go through life with this burden on your mind. You really couldn't do anything about what happened.

Now, as far as easing the loneliness, since it has been quite some time since she passed, you may want to consider getting some professional help for what you are going through. It seems to me that since you have so many feelings of guilt, that it may be a large reason as to why you still are in so much pain. Once you deal with the all of this guilt and grasp the understanding that what happened is part of life, you can then tackle your grief over her being gone. Does that make sense?

I will say this...you will always miss your mom. She was a big part of your life. It will get easier with time, but she will always be a apart of you. She can live on through you though in the way that you live and raise your kids and what you do with your life. That is what I plan on doing with my mom's memory. It has been over a week since her funeral and everything I see or do remind me of her. I still cry whenever I think about her and what she did for me. But, I know that it will get easier. But I will always miss her.

Please take care of yourself. Get the help that you need. You deserve a break from what you have been going through.

Answer 3

First, God did not kill your mother to punish you. She had heart problems. It happens. Cancer took my mother. There's nothing to blame but the cancer (well, and a couple incompetent doctors, but that's another story).

Anyways, you need to accept that she has passed on. It sucks, a lot. I know. But you can neither bring back the dead nor change the past.

One thing that has always helped me is to try to live life the way Mom would want me to. Do you think your mother would be happy knowing you're sitting around lonely and punishing yourself because she didn't watch her cholesterol or whatever? Go out there and find a nice spouse, get a promotion, live life and make your mother proud.

Answer 4

Don't blame yourself, It was time for God take your mother. My father passed away when I was 16, 23 years ago. I think of it as God needing my father in heaven to be with the ones that my father has lost.
The dreams could be a sign, you need to be at peace. Your mother will always be with you in your heart and your dreams.

Answer 5

You need to realize that you did not do anything wrong. God has a bit of a 'hands off' policy and unfortunately bad things are permitted to happen (such as the loss of a loved one).
Obviously you have a religious affiliation - - you should speak with your pastor about this. Another option you might like would be Christian counseling. Both will probably help you to come to terms with your religion and your loss.

Answer 6

There are things we can never undo or do all over again. Feeling the way you do is just part of the grieving process. There are always things we can do better...forgive yourself even if you were a total jerk. We are born and we die that is a part of the natural part of life. You will always think of her....she'll always be a part of you....you'll always miss her....but trust me in time it won't hurt so bad, remember good things about your Mom, how much you loved her and the love she gave you....these things help to ease a broken heart

Answer 7

Your never going to get over losing your mom. The hurt becomes easier as time goes on however. You need to know you did nothing wrong that caused her death. Even as a doctor I could not have prevented my mothers death.
I retired from active practice five years after her death, retained my license and I now visit "elderly shut ins" for little brothers of the poor. I don't do it for free, I charge the women a cookie and the men need to tell me a joke.
Not exciting I know but they wouldn't let me ride a Harley with the hell's angles. Do something for others that can't do it for themselves.

Answer 8

my mom died 16 years ago, I wasn't even 5 yet! So I understand, but you have to look at it this way...she is looking at you and watching you everyday!! Make her proud and happy, she wouldn't want you upset!! When you are lonely and something doesn't go the way you plan...ask her to be with you and help guide you!! When something is going good, thank her for helping you to get through it or for helping you make it happen!! Also, thank god for allowing her to help you...I do that all the time!
When something isn't going the way I think it should; I ask my mom, sister, and god to guide me through it! To send me signs and help me out!! I am still here so I must be doing something right!!
If it gets to much to handle, talk to your other family members...or maybe a priest? Someone you can trust with your emotions that will help you and not look down on you for showing emotion!!! Good Luck dear, remember she isn't coming back but she is ALWAYS WITH YOU!!

Answer 9

Accept that you in no way could have done anything to change what happened to your mother. Find a way to honor her life each year, whether it be starting an annual fundraising event where proceeds go to a charity she cared about or to cardiac arrest research and start the healing process.

Answer 10

I have a twin sister who is very ill, and has spent about 90% of her life confined to a bed, she cannot live a normal life. I used to blame myself for being normal, but i realized that this life here on earth is only temporary, you cannot drown yourself in tears or on sadness, you will never live and i am sure you mother wanted you to be happy, just think one day you will die too, and then you can see your mother agian, but it will be for eternity, this is only for a little while, but until you take your last breath, dont live in regret, in why, or what if. live in the now, remember her as she was at her best, and know that one day you will be with her.