Ring and Wedding Sizes?

Question

Why is it that if you want a big engagement ring, you are vain or don't love your boyfriend. I would never ask for certain requirements in my engagement ring. But, I do think if you date someone for a long time you know their standards.

So, what if I want a one carat ring. IMO, if he can afford it, then why not.

People try to equate "bigger rings, bigger weddings" with bad marriages. I know lots of people w/ smaller rings and smaller weddings and they still had bad marriages. And vice versa

What's so wrong with being a little vain. I've been with my Fi for 3 years. If I didn't love him, I would not be with him this long. He's not "loaded" but makes decent money. As do I. Why can't we have a bigger ring and a bigger wedding.

I mean, why do the women get "blamed" for wanting the larger rings. In the end, the men are the ones that make the purchase and decide on the size and amount. So, aren't they just as vain as the women they love?

Answer 1

Women don't get blamed for bigger rings....women get blamed and pooped on because they are selfish and demand their fiancee's go into hock and/or spend all their savings to get them the bigger ring or the giant wedding.

It's fine if you want "standards" but you should accept the guy for who he is. If he's broke and can only afford 1/2 carat that's who he is. You want 1 carat better be prepared to cough up your half.

I want a classic mint condition Stingray...but I would never get mad at my fiancee because he didn't go into debt to get me one.

Answer 2

I hear ya...big rings or weddings don't equate to anything related to a marriage. Knowing what I do about my fiance's finances, our lifestyle, etc, a 1/4 carat ring would simply not do. I don't even think that's vain, it's reality. I do think many people just answer to what would work for them, without considering everyone is not in their same shoes...I think a small ring is fine for a college student struggling to get going, but not so much for an established adult. I also see talk of "upgrading" your ring later...I personally think that's awful. That's saying right off the bat that your ring isn't good enough, but you'll give him a temp pass until he can come up with something better later. My ring is a little over a carat, it cost a good amount of money, but he can well afford it, and it is something I will be wearing every single day for the rest of my life...what's wrong with wanting something nice? Nothing, that's what.

Answer 3

It's not the WANTING the big rock that makes you vain. Really.

I mean, let's be honest. We ALL love beautiful things, and we think we're worth it, and secretly, we all want our hubbies to think so, too. I mean, come on. If money were NO OBJECT, wouldn't we all like the 2.5 carat, internally flawless diamond? Of course we would.

You get a lot of answerers who will say "My husband could have proposed to me with a ring from a gumball machine and I would have said yes, because it's a symbol of our marriage!" I'm no exception - I would have done the same, but it doesn't change the fact that my husband proposed to me with an absolutely incredible ring, and I adore it!

The disdain comes in when you meet the women who say "If my man doesn't give me at LEAST a carat, I'm not going to marry him!" regardless of the financial situation. Or the ones who pick the ring out themselves - again, without regard to their SO's financial situation. There's a difference between showing him a ring you like and letting him pick something he can afford and surprising you, and telling him exactly what you expect from him.

The women who EXPECT to be given the lavish diamond and even MORE lavish wedding to put on appearances - with no regard to their personal finances (maxing out credit cards, taking out loans - living beyond their means) are the ones who are, in fact, vain and selfish.

Answer 4

Do they currently wear a ring? If so, say can I see that...then slip it on your finger memorize where it is on your finger. This is how my now hubby did it. If they don't wear one, take a piece of string, tie it in a bow around the finger, not too tight not to loose. Make sure it will slide over the knuckle. Then just leave it there for a minute or two, say something silly about the bow or what not. Then lay it aside. When they aren't paying attention, pocket the string. He said he was bored was just messing around. Two weeks later he showed up with an engagement ring.

Answer 5

The rings should have nothing to do with vanity. Hopefully a man chooses a ring for his woman that he thinks she might like, and that fits his budget. But, for example, a one carat ring would look plain stupid on my delicate finger. And, I wouldn't have presumed to specify anything about what I wanted for a ring. He knew I liked yellow gold, obviously because it's what I wore for jewellery I already had, and I'm not the type to follow a fad such as for white gold.
But otherwise, he chose extremely well, and we had the type of wedding we chose to host for our guests - a totally traditional wedding for 200.
Most men, mature men, are not vain at all. I chose a manly man for my husband!

Answer 6

I think it's fine to have as big a diamond and as big a wedding as the couple can afford. Where I think problems come in is where a couple goes into serious debt for either one. I also do think some women are more into the wedding than they are the marriage (all about getting married, not so much about being married), and that certainly is an issue for the marriage going forward.

Answer 7

I guess this is one way to look at things if your insecure enough to take the time to care about what others think. A wedding ring no matter what size is suppose to represent the love you share and bind you for life, it shouldn't make a difference as to what size it is. Mine is probably somewhere in the middle and we both decided on it. He figured that if it was going to be on my hand I should at least have a say so in what I wore. We also decided together what was a reasonable amount to spend. If I had wanted something bigger he would have gotten it. I found the ring that made me fee the same way I felt about him. It's a personal choice and you shouldn't care about what others think. My only suggestion would be to be reasonable and don't set yourself up with tons of debt just to have something larger. Save up if that's what you want.

Answer 8

If you can afford it, why not? I don't think that's the problem. I think the issue is when women demand their boyfriend/fiance spend all this money that he might not be able to afford. My friends just went $25,000 into debt (seriously) over their wedding. EVERY cost was put onto credit cards. They have very low-paying jobs and neither of their parents could help them out. To me, that was a wedding just for show. However, if you can afford it and want to, then that's your perogative.

Same goes for the ring. If he has the money and doesn't mind spending it on a ring, then that's his own choice.

Answer 9

Dont get me started! These types just think that its virtuous to denounce anything even remotely expensive as a "waste of money that could be spent on buying a house". On the other hand, I think if you can afford and want a little glamour in your life, why not? At the same time, I can appreciate both expensive and budget weddings and do not think one size fits all. We should be talking more about making weddings beautiful and classy, and less about how inexpensive or overblown the ideas are.

Answer 10

if you notice, the only people whom would
call you vain, are other women.

for some reason, women always have something to say
about pointless stuff like that.

i want a big engagment ring as well,
and my boyfriend of 6 years knows it.
i wasnt raised with money,
i was raised by my father
and im more like the girl next door.
so youd be a liar if someone called me vain.

women do want pretty things,
and i see, if he couldnt afford it,
then itd be alright with you,
but since he CAN why not get it?

i'm totally with you on this one.
no one else matters in this situation,
but you and him.