While my fiance and I were shopping for our wedding rings, I thought I saw him starring at a female. I look far better than her and we are getting married so I can't understand it. He denies starring at the woman. I understand looking, everyone does, but I definitely have a problem with starring. After this my mood for ring shopping just went away and I had no motivations to look around anymore. I have no motivations to go back and look for a ring either. I know that the whole wedding planning has been extremely stressful and our wedding is 5 days away, but am I overreacting?
2007-09-10 03:33:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No I don't think that i have low self esteem. I am way better looking than that woman. I just feel like it was a very special day (at least it was to me) looking at our rings and that starring at another women was disrespectful to me. thats all.
2007-09-10 03:50:37 · update #1
I trust my fiance 100% for some of you that questioned that. And as said before, we all look which is totally normal, but starring is a bit different. All i though is that it was a bit disrespectful on the day when we are picking our rings.
2007-09-10 04:10:31 · update #2
It really could just be stess getting to you.
My wedding is 6 months away and my fiance and I are snapping at eachother non-stop for the most ridiculous reasons! It's a stressful time but I'm sure it will all be worth it! Just try to relax, take a 'time out' and maybe go to the store on your own to look for a ring.
Anyway, maybe your guy was just spacing and didn't realize that he was starring in the direction of another woman!
2007-09-10 03:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Little One 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would be kinda upset as well as you say it is a special day. One thing you might want to consider, does he ever just go into a daze, like day dreaming, he may of been doing this but happened to be looking in the direction of this other woman. (My partner does it quite often, sometimes half way through a conversation!) Tell him how you feel, make sure it is you he definitely wants to marry (if you are 5 days away I can't see why not), go back shopping, he may make a conscious effort to pay more attention to you considering he upset you last time. Just go round the shops thinking of your big day and how it is going to be everything you have dreamed of.
Good luck x
2007-09-10 11:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by **sparkleprincess** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any trust issues with your man? If so, I seriously would consider not getting married for now. Unless you fully 100% trust him, then it won't work out in the end. He could have been doing a number of things when you thought he was staring- I won't make any excuses for him, because that would ruin the mood, but the main issue is trust. I catch my fiance looking at people- but he looks at EVERYONE. kids, guys, women, dogs, etc. He's just nosey. The fact is though, I fully 100% trust my fiance. So him looking/staring at a girl doesn't bother me because I know he loves me and wants to be with me only.
Trust your man. and a good book to read- "the five love languages" by Gary Chapman. I think it's great for everyone to read who plans on being in a relationship. I read it in just a couple of days, it was great, and it helps you understand things better.
2007-09-10 11:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by m930 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not the hottest chick on the block and when my fiance stares at another woman, I lightly smack his arm and laugh. Hell, sometimes I actually point out a hotter woman! At the end of the day though, he goes home with me, not them.
Regardless of whether or not you were more attractive than that other women it says a lot to your self-esteem when you're insecure enough to not want him looking. He's a man. Men are visual. A hot piece of tail will get their attention no matter how much they love the woman they are with.
Get over it and fast or else you're going to have a long road ahead and a troubling marriage.
2007-09-10 11:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're right, it was extremely disrespectful and I think you have something to be real concerned about for the future.
The fact that he is gawking at women now, 5 days before marriage, should let you know what he's going to do when your marriage becomes a little routine. Looks has nothing to do with men who stray. Men who stray are "opportunists" and cheaters. Only you can determine whether or not you are marrying the type of guy who will stray. Make sure you're not or haven't been ignoring the signs cause you may look back on this moment and say, "I knew it." To answer your question: No, you're not overreacting.
2007-09-10 12:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your guy may be innocent.
It may simply be a case of line of sight. Many people "stare" at someone without realizing it just as they would be looking out the window of a moving car or at a TV set. Their mind drifts and they unconsciously let their eyes drift to a moving object. A bright color, a hair color, a rapid movement, etc. can be a target as the mind works on something else.
Everyone does it but most are unaware when it happens and the mind immediately dismisses what it was looking at when the train of thought comes to an end or is interrupted.
2007-09-10 10:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by msbettyboop40 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Chill -- You are overreacting. If you seriously can't trust him, then DON'T get MARRIED. But if you can, then let him know how you feel & move on.
BTW -- You will encounter SOOOOO many arguments that will require you to overlook the entire situation. In some issues you must be passive. By no means am I telling you to let him get by with murder, or not to speak up when your feelings are hurt (or when you feel very strongly about something), but please understand that you've REALLY got to learn to pick & choose your arguments. Let him know how you feel & then move on. If it is something that you can come to an agreement on, then do so. But understand that life will throw you MANY of these situations, unexpectedly. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-09-10 11:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by *Fickle Pickle* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are overreacting, and maybe seeing things. You know, its impossible to go through life without looking at people of the opposite sex. There are people all over the place! It doesnt mean we are crazy lusting after them, even if they are very attractive. Either you have a bad case of pre-wedding jitters, or you are extremely insecure to the point where it is leading to false accusations. Thats just my take on it.
2007-09-10 10:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think that staring is that big of a deal. Sure, maybe it wasn't the best time. However, sometimes these things happen. Is he going to leave you for her? Not likely. Does he think he'd rather be with her than you? Doubtful.
I sometimes catch my bf checking out another girl. I call him on it and make fun of him. Who cares? It's me he's going home with.
Did you ask if maybe he thought he knew her? I stare at guys sometimes when I think they look familiar and I'm trying to place them. I work for a company with 4,500 employees and sometimes I see someone out at the grocery store or the mall, but I can't quite place them or their name.
I don't think it's that big of a deal. Again, it's you he's going home with.
2007-09-10 11:31:12 · answer #9 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is an isolated incident, I highly recommend that for marital harmony, you give him the benefit of the doubt. If he has a chronic problem of staring at women, THEN you have a problem with his behavior. But if you are going to insist on reading more into his behavior than is really there, then he will have a problem with YOUR behavior.
2007-09-10 11:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋