I am changing the rules! what do you think? this is about household chores?

Question

My kids 15 yrs (boy), 16 yrs (girl) My husband works and I am a stay at home mom & wife. I do almost everything regarding the house and yard . Including, but not limited to dishes,cooking, laundry, vacuuming ,dusting ,shopping weeding, watering, cutting the grass. I don't mind but I feel guilty and overwhelmed when I don't get it finished. My kids help out when I nag but I don't want the stress of nagging. I have decided that for now on the kids are responsible for the house work. I will do the yard work and my hubby will work and fix things around the house. I will cook and continue to clean my bedroom and clean my messes and my hubbys messes and I will also do whatever cleaning I feel like doing and that will be only as I choose.(I am sure it will be quite a bit I am not lazy) Does this seem fair ?? Should I give the kids allowance or should I just continue to pay for EVERYTHING including but not limited to(clothes, cell phones, bikes,slurpees, movies etc. etc)

my husband does help sometimes and never complains but he works about 60 hours a week. He is just waiting for me to start demanding help from the kids without him making the rules. He just thinks kids should and will help without being demanded. LOL thats a funny one

Answer 1

wow, you need to get those kids working!!! i am 23 and i have just bought my own house, a task of which i would not have been able to do unless my mum taught me about taking responsibility for myself. i am sure that your kids are great and are responsible when it comes to the things they do (schoolwork etc.) but they need more. my mum had me helping around the house from a toddler. i believe that this helped me have more pride in the tasks that i completed as they were mine, and i always felt the satisfaction when my mum said thanks or good job. the kids should be taking care of all things "them" ie: their bedrooms, their section of the living areas, their dishes and their washing. things like the kitchen and the bathrooms should be a shared chore. my mum drew up a list of all the chores around the house and we all put our names against the one that we were happy to do(which gave us a sense of responsibility and choice from the word go) and the rest we divided up or put on a rotating roster so they were evenly shared between us. one of the biggest hurdles we came across was that when we got fed up with our chores the quality of the completed job started going down hill. so we came up with a way to combat this. we made up a trading card for each of the chores and this way we could trade chores between the family members and we always knew no matter how much we traded we always had the same amount of chores as each other.

but i have to say that dad had to play or it would have never worked. so he simply had less cards to start with. he had cards like mow the lawn, clean out the gutters etc.

we used to have alot of fun with this method, my dad was having a bad time at work so he secretly made up a card for "do dad's job" and he tried to trade it for my brothers "clean the toilet" card, of course my brother being 7 at the time would trade any card for the toilet card so said yes and proudly went and showed mum his new chore trade. she got quite the giggle out of it!

i guess what i am trying to say is the family needs to take the pressure of you and help out more, in the long run it will help them.

much luv and good luck. :)

Answer 2

Nothing wrong with the husband helping out around the house. After all, he lives there too and
contributes to the mess. Your kids are now old enough to take on some chores. Rotate the chores so they can learn to do everything. If you
do the cooking then your hubby and kids can take care of the clean up. Your son can cook one night
a week and so can your daughter. Hubby can cook on the week-ends. You are not the maid.
Quit acting like one. Hubby and kids can tackle the yard work as well.

Answer 3

It is a great idea but expect some resistance. My 13 year old has the opportunity to earn up to $20 per week based on her chores. She is responsible for the dishes, her room and bathroom and the living room areas. Having a dollar amount tied to the chores gives them a sense of earning money. Be specific as to what responsibility belongs to which child, especially if there is a monetary reward attached. You're in for a battle enforcing it, but once you get it in place the rewards are great. It gives you a much needed break and your kids a stronger work ethic and the sense of accomplishment when they earn something instead of having it given to them.

Answer 4

This is what i would do. set a list of chores for each kid to do daily.

For example the 16 year old chores should be

Clean bathroom

Do the dishes after every meal

dust things that need dusting

clean their room

Help with dinner

the 15 year old should

Clean their room

mow the lawn

Vacuum the floors

Put clothes in washer for you

take garbage out

I would give them allowance of $5 a week and if they want something they should save for it.

Answer 5

I think it is reasonable to ask for help. It is a lot of work to be a stay at home mom. My husband might work 40+ hours a week, but he works at a desk. I'm on the go all day and night. I do feel guilty about asking him for help and I also feel like I shouldn't have to ask. If he sees the trash needs to go out, well then he should take the trash out. Why should I have to ask? Your children need to do chores. I would give them a set allowance. They are old enough to start budgeting their own money. I think you should have them do their own laundry and make dinner (once a week per child). These are things they need to know how to do when they move out. My 24 year old sister just got married and asked me what I cook for dinner. I told her things I make and she said she doesn't know what or how to cook, because no one had ever taught her. I told her it has taken 6 years, but I think I am finally getting the hang of it and I would get her some of my favorite recipes. My point is that if my mom or dad would have taught us to cook at 16 we wouldn't have this problem when we had a family. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Don't pay kids for chores. They need allowance just because they are kids.
Your son and daughter should be actually doing a LOT of housework, not everything though. My son is almost 16, and he does laundry, the garbage, loads and unloads the dishwasher, vacuums, dusts, helps with buying groceries and putting them away, does the cat litterbox, any other chores he has time for when it's needed - mows lawn, waters garden, shovels snow in winter, etc. A child should always be responsible for keeping his or her own room in decent shape.
We still pay for his necessities - of course. Any money he gets is 'extra' - for him to do with as he wishes - usually he saves for a new stereo, game, etc. But we pay for clothes, his bike, shoes, etc. - the normal things.
They aren't little slaves for us, but everyone in the household should be contributing to its upkeep.

Answer 7

Yes. I do all chores including mowing the yard while watching our 3 kids. My husband works out of state all week and it is like pulling teeth to get him to do anything while he is here. He won't even take care of a pop can that he drinks or a wrapper that he opens. It kills me. It's bad enough that our older kids 7,5 won't help me pick up. I don't expect too much from 1 1/2 y/o.

Answer 8

Make a chore list.
And if by the end of the week they complete their list give them an allowance if not don't give them anything!!

They are both of working age anyway so maybe the should be getting a job to pay for their extras?