My former father-in-law is ill and not expected to live long. He was my father-in-law for 22 years and is my children's grandfather so I want to pay my respects to the family.
My ex and I had an ugly split - he left for another woman who he is now married to. I've never met the new wife, rarely see my ex and have minimal contact with my exe's family since the divorce. When he passes away, should I attend the funeral or go to the visitation, or both?
2007-09-10 00:36:13 · 12 answers · asked by Jo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What would your former father-in-law want you to do? You could go to the visitation and say a private farewell, you could send a floral tribute and a lovely card expressing your condolences or attend the funeral or all of the above. This is a time for supporting your children through the loss of their grandpa and that should be your main focus.
2007-09-10 00:46:44 · answer #1 · answered by lizzie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could write a note to your former in-laws now saying that you are sorry to hear about the illness and send your best wishes and thank them for being great grandparents and say how much they mean to your children. That way, even if you don't go to the funeral, you have paid your respects to your former in-laws without directly involving your ex-husband. Also, maybe you could talk to your kids about it if they are old enough to see what they think about it.
2007-09-10 01:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am sorry for this, impending death is never easy. With that said, he was a part of your family for 22 years and your children's grandfather, so I would go to visitation, pay my respects, then skip the funeral.
2007-09-10 00:47:03 · answer #3 · answered by WVPV07 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd at least go to the visitation with the kids. it shows them you are a good person regardless of what happened with you and your ex. 22 yrs is a long time. you have a history. to pay your respects is a good thing. i think i'd pass on the funeral though. it's more personal. if the kids want to go with their dad, they can do that.
2007-09-10 03:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u dont have to go unless u want to. or unless your children want you too. There is no wrong or right here. If you were close to the in laws then u should go. If u dont feel like you were close to them or want to pay ur respects then u dont have to do that at all. If your children plan on going and dont mind u staying home then by all means stay at home.
2007-09-10 05:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by melissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should attend the funeral, keep releationships aside, go to help them what you could do for the needy before going contact or console thru phone for a while with the relevant person.
2007-09-10 02:40:52 · answer #6 · answered by Narayan akul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say go to both.
When my fathers mother past a way , my mom , and her husband of 27 years both attended. When my grandma was in the nursing home they both visited her regular.
2007-09-10 01:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Kit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He and your ex's relatives are related to your children and so as their mom and considering the fact that a grandparent is closely related I would go and support your son(s)/daughter(s) and also pay my respects.
2007-09-10 02:55:01 · answer #8 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funerals are not for the lifeless, they are for the residing. they are so human beings can enable flow and get on with their lives. you do no longer ought to make up your suggestions in accordance with him being abusive addict. Make up you suggestions based on your sister. If she is going, then the choose arises to flow, purely in help of her. And comparable if the youngsters are going, or in the event that they are disenchanted approximately it. (The wording makes me doubt they have been his childrens? ) OR while you're on the fringe of his mom or absolutely everyone else on that area of the family contributors. yet while they are not that standard to you. No you're no longer a jerk for unlikely.
2016-12-16 16:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by yasmin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do both. Do it out of respect for your former father-in-law.
2007-09-10 00:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋