Manners Help?!?

Question

I really need to change my bad manners, I can't help it to swear, slap, and give revenge to people (messing up their life)

Can anyone give me tips to behave better?
P.S There a lot of mean people around me.....

Answer 1

General rule:
treat others as you wish to be treated.

Answer 2

Well, Maybe you need to just think twice. It helps to take a deep breath. Breathing is a big part of taking control of your life. If you want to do something its best to have total control of your thoughts. Write affirmations that "I am going to be well-mannered today" I am sure you know of good manners because you wouldn't call your way of having bad manners bad now would ya. Just say to yourself every morning or when your about to do something destructive. Tell your self I am going to be nice and take a deep breath. Or I am going to be well-behaved and have good manners because people appreciate the positive. The great things in life is Love so start loving yourself and other people. Make everything feel like heaven.

Answer 3

It's a very good thing that you care about this. Few people do it by themselves, you know. Don't give up.

First of all, you are going to experience some difficulties since you say that there are a lot of mean people around you. A psychological phenomenon of group will inescapably make you excluded from those persons (but is this a sad loss, uh?)

Your chances to succeed will bear largely upon your will and your common sense (hey, you have it, already!). The aims and goals of politeness is to get in good and friendly terms with others and it is based upon the Golden Rule which says "Do to others what you would like others do to you" (Or the reverse: "Don't do to others what you wouldn't like other do to you."). One of those two sentences has been said the Chinese philosopher Confucius, but I just don't remember which one... Ha-ha-ha.)

With that notion in mind, then your behavior will significantly improve and different people will be interested in you. But you are not supposed to know all rules of the "etiquette" by heart. Parents teach us those rules, in normal circumstances. When not, then you'll have to learn them by yourself.

So in order to fix this last problem you'll find all the answers you need in a book that is the reference about politeness and etiquette: The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette (see my link below). There are many thing you'll never had the opportunity to do in that book, but there is everything you missed until this happy moment.

If you continue on that way, then you'll be rewarded in finding better and more interesting people.

Answer 4

can i suggest that you start small and work your way up.
How about treating people you deal with over the phone in a polite and friendly way.
You'll find that if you're enquiring after a utility service and be friendly, they tend to go out of their way for you. and that's a good feeling to have someone do that for you.
Start small and work yourself up.
good luck

Answer 5

All the above answers are good. You might also use the help of prayer. Every time you catch yourself doing these things, say a short prayer and bite your tongue. You might also put your right hand over your heart for a second and mentally say God help me.

Answer 6

Well the first step is admitting that you are behaving in a bad way and the second is to want to change. So it seems that you are well on your way!

One thing to remember...other people's manners or behavior shouldn't dictate your behavior. In other words, if people around you curse and slap, and meddle in other people's lives doesn't mean that you are required to do so too. Like the old adage...if everyone else jumped off a cliff.....

If you are around people who swear or use violence, it is a good idea to try and limit contact with them. It is easy to sponge up other people's bad behavior if that is all that you know. If you can spend time with friends or family who do behave themselves, try increasing your time in their company. But, if you don't really know people that behave, spend more time on your own until you can start meeting polite people. This may mean that you have to change your usual hang outs or activities.

There are a lot of books about etiquette, but before you jump into learning which fork to use with which course, why not make a list of behavior that you would like to possess.

Something such as:
1. I would like people to see me as pleasant and charming.
2. I would like people to value my opinion.
3. I would like people to be proud to spend time with me.
4. I would like to feel confident in difficult situations.
etc.

Then make a list of the things that you need to change in order to achieve each point on your list.
So...
I would like people to see me as pleasant and charming.
1. Smile more
2. Stop cursing
3. Avoid topics that make people feel uncomfortable (sex, addictions, politics, religion, personal relationships...)
4. Ask people questions about themselves

I would like people to value my opinion.
1. Find some subjects that you like...and read up on them.
2. Read the newspaper or magazines (other than pop culture mags) so that you have a good idea of what’s happening outside of your neighborhood.
3. When asked...express your opinions in a friendly and non-confrontational way. People will be eager to talk to you if you aren't judgmental or try and force your opinions on others.

I would like people to be proud to spend time with me.
1. Again, don't curse.
2. Dress appropriately. You can still look cool and even sexy...but subtle.
3. Speak softly...people that speak or laugh loudly in public often do so to gain attention. Being good company is not about being the center of attention.
4. Try new things! If you wrinkle up your nose every time someone wants to try and new restaurant or movie or gallary..no one will want to spend time with you.

I would like to feel confident in difficult situations.
1. Avoid conflict. If you know people who fight a lot or who want to fight with you...avoid them.
2. Learn to walk away. If you are confronted with an unpleasant person, just walk away. You don't need to prove that you are tougher. Walking away without fighting makes you the better person. PERIOD
3. Don't gossip or engaging in activities that will make you the focus of other people's anger.

Good luck! You will find that once you let go of the negativity and move past the small minded people that are around you, there is a whole world of possibilities.

best wishes

Answer 7

It sounds to me like you have much worse manners than the gothiest of goths.

Answer 8

just think before opening your mouth.

"will the words i am about to speak hurt people?" if yes dont continue.

like the saying goes...

its better not to talk if you have nothing good to say XD

likewise

its better not to do anything if you have nothing good to do XD

Answer 9

if someone treats you mean, take a dump on their furniture.
.

Answer 10

Go to church and change your friends.