My son will be turning 9 friday and everything that can go wrong for me is financially has happened this week. I just broke even with my check to pay the rent on time this month with 24 dollars left over, every bill is due with a disconnect notice, and my car broke down this morning. I planned to spend the day with him on his b-day but the boss just made a mandatory class attendance at work for all day friday and the weekend (which I requested off )so I cannot spend any time with him either on his b-day weekend he will have to hang out with his sitter he dislikes. As a single parent of three I break my neck every year but it has finally caught up to me this year. How can I tell him I cannot afford to do anything this year and make him understand that I probley won't be able to at all do anything. I know this will be hard for him b/c teachers will ask what he recieved for his b-day or what he did how can I make him understand I just cannot do anything about it or when I can.
2007-09-09 20:57:02 · 26 answers · asked by nene 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Be honest. My mom was a single parent of 3 on a teachers salary. We were in the same situation growing up. Sometimes, she would sit us down and tell us honestly the situation we were in. She made us aware that we would have food, clothes and a place to sleep and that we were loved. When she did have money to take us places, she wouldnt tell us we were going somewhere til that morning because she knew that something could possibly come up and it could be canceled. This prevented us from getting our hopes up and being disappointed.
I still remeber this and I was probably 9 or 10 at the time.
2007-09-09 21:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by rem 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
The first thing you should do is be honest with him. He is old enough to understand. You could purchase cake mix and bake him a cake. Let his siblings make him a birthday card or you can buy a birthday card adn surprise hi by singing happy birthday when he comes home or before school. most neighborhoods have a local park. You could go to the park with your children. Just knowing that his mother cares and having that time together means more to him than anything you could buy at any store. My child's birthday is Friday also. I don't have a lot of money so I am simply taking cupcakes up to the school decorated with her favorite character and we always go out on Friday on Saturday so we will make this her birthday celebration. We will maybe take the portable grill to the local park that has a pond and let them fish (her favorite past time) while I grill some hot dogs and they'll play and have cake. If you have relatives that live nearby they will probably give him something and some teacher's do too.
2007-09-13 05:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by curious1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like a lot of the other answers. Take a picnic lunch to the park on your next day off or make his favorite dinner. Bake a simple cake or some cupcakes. Have a friend or two over for a sleepover the next time you get a chance.
For a gift, coupons for getting out of chores are an excellent idea! I'm sure he'd really appreciate that.
If he's doing well in school, and you have weekdays off, pick him up from school early the next chance you get and do the picnic. If's he's caught up in his classes it won't kill him to miss half a day.
Keep your head up and remember that your love and time will be more valuable in the long run than any high-priced present he could get.
2007-09-09 22:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by ninn09262 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can afford a b day present. Make one. how about a mask set cut out some cardboard into mask shapes and give him something to decorate it with, old tinsel from the Christmas tree dye some pasta different colours coloured cardboard cut into shapes Etc.... or i know it sounds bad to some but in our family most of our presents come from garage sales or op-shops, you can often get some good things that you just have to give a good wash an it looks like new. And you wouldn't believe some of the things that you can get for so little. Please don't take any notice of the other messages about you being a single mom we were in a two parent family and we also had times that were tough. And remember in twenty years from now kids wont remember what they got for there birthday but they will remember that they didn't get anything. Best of luck. Sonia
2007-09-09 22:57:32 · answer #4 · answered by sonia h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a Christmas like that as a single grandma.
I went to the dollor store.
Another Christmas I gave my kids and grandkids things of mine that they would enjoy. For instance earings. Book, Antique vase etc. A pic of their grandpa.
a nine year old is old enough to understand your limits, it doesm't mean he won't be upset.
How about giving him coupons to turn in when you have the means to take him. Like a movie. Ice cream. Or you make his bed for a week. You let him have a sleep over.
Or find something from his granda's. Maybe a fishing box.
A photo graph.
This situation happens all the time. My daughter and Husband didn't have money for their son's birthday...but then he was turning 2, so he was mostly clueless..
Maybe you can keep a jar hidden where during the year you can put in a bit of change in it once in awhle and hopefully
you can have something to give the kids on their birthdays.
The best gift of all..is your love.
2007-09-09 21:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you bake him a cake? You can get a cake mix from the dollar store, or whatever store you have similar where you live. Or even a card...children are very resilient, and I'm sure he's very aware of how hard you work. He'll understand. Just make sure to make him aware that you love him, and will make it up to him when you do get some extra money. Promise him you'll make him whatever dinner he likes best, or take him to the park, or skateboarding, or whatever he likes.
You could allow him to have a friend over to spend the night...that's free and all it'll cost is some soda and popcorn! And you could have the friends' mom pick him up and drop him off.
Or you could make him a coupon book! Make coupons like "get out of chores for a day" or "free backrub" or "overnight with two friends". It's free, and he'll love it! Good luck, and I hope things get better!
2007-09-09 21:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by still waiting 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I mean this with the utmost respect. You are looking at this all wrong.
Instead of explaining to your son you can't do something because of your current financial situation present him with a couple of options which he can choose from.
You can invite a couple of friends for a sleep over (mac & cheeze/ milk for dinner) or take him to the beach with a couple of friends Saturday to play (bring random fun things) set up an obstacle course with stuff from around the house or bring some sports equiptment (ball). Take them to a variety of free things in LA. There are sites which list free events in the area.
You don't have to spend money to have fun...you just need to be creative. Your son will grow up appreciating the effort more so than the money spent.
BE HAPPY YOU HAVE A SON! CELEBRATE
2007-09-12 16:56:13 · answer #7 · answered by Vivian L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 kids and I have custody of them. I had the same problem with my daughters birthday. I could not throw her a party or afford to get her a gift. I was down to my last $10 and I went a head and took her and my son to get ice cream. I new it would break me but I had to do something. We had a blast and I say it was my best $10 ever spent. After I got my next check I took her to go pick something out and everything was ok. As far as my job is concerned, I have told them and a I also keep reminding them My kids will always come before my job. Dont let your job bully you around.
2007-09-10 00:21:13 · answer #8 · answered by Bones 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not all single mom's are single because they were playing games and got knocked up that's just an unfair assumption. My mother raised my brother and I because my father was an alcoholic and couldn't keep himself together so she left him. My brother and I didn't have extravagant birthdays, or presents. I agree with the picnic idea. I remember more instances of my mom and I just hanging out and watching a movie or making dinner together than what I got for my 9th birthday. Explain to him that things are tough right now, he may be upset with you for a while but it will eventually pass. If your worried about his teachers make a simple phone call and explain your situation. I wish you the best of luck, I've seen what my mother had to go thru, but if it helps my brother and I grew up to be very well adjusted and successful. We both have college educations. Just be honest with your Son, he'll thank you for it in the end.
2007-09-09 21:13:47 · answer #9 · answered by katrina_highkick_59 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Apologize to him. There's not much to do more than that with a child. He may not understand now but if you raise him right, he'll grow up and realize that a roof over his head, and a parent that loves him enough to apologize for not being able to get him a gift for his birthday were the best gifts that he could have had. He'll remember how much you busted your *** for him and his siblings and thank you for it one day when his 9th birthday is long behind him. As a parent, you have to be able to look at your situation, get a grip on your pride, and accept that you are doing the best you can and not beat yourself up over it. You'll get him a gift when you can and the two of you will move on.
2007-09-09 21:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by duber 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i really feel for u. i think that ur son appreciates ur struggles and if u havent before start sharing about the true state of ur finances.
about his birthday use the earliest opportunity to tell him the truth: that this year mum cant manage to buy him something big but that u will try to save for an extra christmas present. if u can, skip sth in ur day like a cup of coffee or a midmorning snack, go to the cheapest store and rummage for something thats cheap but unique.
am thinking the best present for him would be to promise to find him a sitter he likes. why are u using one that he doesn't? kids usually have a reason for dislike.
2007-09-09 21:22:10 · answer #11 · answered by kiki68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋