When I am a virgin, quiet and will not give them sex till marriage. And also I like to be independent and even a simple act of walking and holding hands annoys me and I feel like doing my own thing. Or even an act of going shopping and having him hanging around stifles my independence. I am not autistic, just used to being independent and doing my own thing. I find men to be pains who try to change me and constantly are after anything sexual. Am I normal? I love my own splendid isolation and men find this hard
2007-09-09 20:43:04 · 11 answers · asked by ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well being a male virgin i can understand where ur coming from on that issue, and its also good to be independent, but if your looking for your soulmate you have to compromise on this issue somewhat. People get into relationship because they are looking for their other half, the one that completes them, the one they can talk about anything with, the one who will be there for you through good and bad times. This requires you to do something weird for you(depend on someone).
As far as shopping and other stuff yes you should have some sort of yopur own hobbies and stuff that u like to do on ur own, but if you dont like to hang out with ur soulmate
then your relationship wont last long . If your just looking for someone to come home to once in a while who will keep u company when u get lonely then hire a male maid or something. You have also got to want to work just as hard to keep a great relationship strong as will your man.
Remember this. No matter how much we like our independence( trust me girl i love mine also) we were not created to be alone, if we were, i wouldnt be answering this question and u wouldnt be answering it.
2007-09-10 08:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by virgin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your splendid isolation you may not want the typical things that a relationship brings. It is good to have morals and I'm glad to hear that you stick by them. Independence is a great thing to have but in a relationship you do have to depend a little bit on each other. Usually the people are too co-dependant so it's interesting to hear things from the opposite spectrum. I'm not sure why walking and holding hands annoys you. That would be something to reflect upon and see if there's more to it than that. If you had a negative experience with a man or men as a child it could effect your life now. You ask if you are normal but I don't know how to answer that. What is important is that you know what you want and don't want. Something about relationships bother you (are you afraid that losing even a tiny bit of your independence means you aren't in control of the relationship?) and until you figure that out you will keep running into this. It's fairly normal for a man to want to be intimate but you should never say yes to something you don't desire to do. I think this has less to do with men as it does the thoughts you have regarding your independance. Why has it been so crucial that you maintain it? Just some thoughts that have run through my head.
2007-09-09 20:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by Courtney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're normal, but eventually you will have a different view in life and about relationships in general. I used to think like you and now all I can think of is not being single anymore. Trust me when I say this; there will come a time in your life when you're struck by the "love bug" and you meet that special someone and he will be very beneficial to you and not a detriment. He will be your emotional support through rough times and will truly love you for who you are and not just for sex. For some men, making their girlfriend happy is more important than sex.
God I want a girlfriend so badly...
:(.............
2007-09-09 20:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by Version_Best 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound to me like you've met a man you're attracted to yet. Of course men find this hard, they probably also find you very intimidating, not many women are as independent as you are. Are you feeling pressured into having a relationship with a man by someone? If so, tell them to back off, you'll get there when you're darn good and ready, and not a moment sooner! And just take your time, you'll know when it's right for you, and you'll know WHO is right for you, as well.
2007-09-09 20:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by Jax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all......it is great that you are going to stay a virgin till marriage. Men will do and say anything to get you to have sex with them, and when they do they lose respect for you. I have heard of many girls losing their virginity to men who thought they'd spend the rest of their life with, then they break up. You do not need to have sex with a man in a relationship to keep him. If he loves you he will respect your wishes to stay a virgin until marriage.
I am an independent woman as well, i have my first current boyfriend in my 20's and i felt the same as you are feeling now.
Things grown on such as holding hands, you get use to it. At first it did feel odd to be doing such a thing.
I still like going shopping by myself, as some men do not like shopping.
It does take time to get use to all the things couples do.
2007-09-09 21:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by Glamourous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
become a nun...thats what a nun is...or you could simply get use to the fact that you will be single for long time...i know independece may be important to you...but you did mention something about marriage...well you cannot be independently married...maybe to yourself...but no one else...my simple advice would be to seek some professional advice on this situation...need some more advice...i can do this all day...
2007-09-09 20:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by oraple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So do you really want a relationship with a man is the obvious question. Sounds like you'd be fine on your own, some people are.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
2007-09-10 01:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless you change your attitude, it is not going to be possible to carry on a normal relationship with a man.
2007-09-09 20:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should think of being a nun as a career choice
2007-09-09 20:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by AspiringLovDoctor 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
in do time you will cool it.and you may find the man you want. love will let you know
2007-09-09 20:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋