I grew up with 4 bros hence most of my friends are guys. They always ask my advice when dealing with complex women issues or what I think of their new girlfriend. They also share with me their good, their bad and ugly deeds. I guess they appreciate the fact that I can tell them that they suck for what they did to whoever but I still love them anyway all in one sentence. I may not approve somethings because I'm a woman but I don't hold grudges or pass judgement after the fact. I hang out with them in groups or even sometimes individually. We do movies, dinner, dancing etc. I am just as feminine as any girl out there. I do dresses, heels, make up, hair done, stylish jeans, pretty blouses etc.. So if my friends think I'm really cool and have complemented me on several occassions, why won't one of them ask me out on a real date instead of just hanging out with me? I 've noticed a few checking me out when they thought I wasn't paying attention but noone says anything? Why?
2007-09-09 18:04:52 · 16 answers · asked by tzuriel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I do act like a lady. They open doors for me, they work on my car, they help me move stuff, they never let me pay for anything when we go out. So what gives?
2007-09-09 18:20:07 · update #1
Your the buddy girl...and guys don't ask out the buddy girl. And worse most other guys will not want to put up with your guy buddies, so they won't ask you out either.
1.Most guys have few..maybe only one girl buddy(it's hard to get a girl buddy because girls are so weird) so they don't want to risk losing you.
2.You know them too well for them to risk dating you. No guy wants a girl to know him as much as a buddy does.
3.Your buddies don't want to date you and the rest of the buddies too..and the whole group problem
4.At least one of the buddies would naturally think you are already sleeping with one or more of them
5.If you have never given a sign you like any of them, they won't bother asking you out.
6.If your buddies...most guys don't want to date their buddy...that would be too close to dating themselves. They want someone diffract.
2007-09-09 18:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm happy to answer your question; I used to be you. You have tons of potential and don't even know it. You're a late bloomer. As soon as you begin to understand where your real strengths/weaknesses are, your little black book will fill up so quickly, you won't have time to keep up with the paperwork! You really don't need much advice. However, if you have a good appearance, don't try to dress even more sexier but focus on your behavior. Stop being so buddy-buddy; (You're not a Mom/counselor). If a guy confides something to you, just smile back at him and shrug your sweet little shoulders, as if to say "So what! Why are you "crying on MY shoulder?" I'm not here for that. I'm a w-o-m-a-n! A highly-sough-after-one, at least you are about to be; soon. Stop being "just one of the boys." You need to change your image. Just say, "You're a big boy now, I'm sure you'll think of something to solve those issues." Then change the subject somehow. You have to stop this buisness of being a substitute "Mom." Once you start to comprehend what I'm saying, you'll be well on your way to a whole new social life. I will say that the transition for you may be a little difficult at first, but you do need to make that change.
2007-09-09 18:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by wildflower 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww, you kinda sound like me..but with the ladies. With my lady friends who are some of my best friends, even if I do think they're very attractive, I doubt myself into thinking that we'd be a great couple because I usually get the answer "I don't want to ruin our friendship...". Doesn't bother me too much. But anyways, I think it's because you are basically already like their girlfriend because you're always with them, so why bother trying to move it up higher? That is how my gal friends look at me. They see me as a somewhat boyfriend but am not. I suggest you'd be straight out with them...guys have a tunnel visioned mind...THEY NEVER GET HINTS...you have to be straight forward at all times.
2007-09-09 18:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by Joe T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that a picture of your behind? Interesting. After reading your post I think the best way to answer you question is with the lyrics to a song by Everclear - this way I don't sound like a real jerk. You put yourself in stupid places Yes I think you know its true Situations where its easy to look down on you I think you like to be the victim I think you like to be in pain I think you make yourself a victim Almost every single day You do what you do You say what you say You try to be everything to everyone You know all the right people You play all the right games You always try to be Everything to everyone You say they taught you how to read and write Yeah, they taught you how to count I say they taught you how to buy and sell Your own body by the pound I think you like to be their simple toy I think you love to play the clown I think you are blind to the fact That the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down Repeat Chorus Spin around and fall down, do it again You stumble and you fall Yeah why dont you ever learn Spin around and fall down, do it again Yeah, you stumble and you fall I wonder if you will ever learn Why wont you ever learn Come on now, do that stupid dance for me Please respect yourself and be yourself. Sex and love are two different things and if you want a man to love you then he needs to respect you. otherwise you are just another sex toy that he will eventually get bored of and cast aside. And if you have to give sex to get love then there is something horribly wrong. Truth is you come off as very sexual and most guys think with their penises so why are you surprised that they treat you like they do? i am not trying to judge you. I am sure you are a nice person but you need to look inside and ask yourself why am i trying to be everything to them?
2016-05-21 00:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do u pursue a girl who is friends with..lol everybody in the group...the girl who u could say is the rose amongst the thorns??
its a difficult situation especially when u don't want to be the one she hates in the end and the only one she isn't speaking to in the group...
that is the guys point of view. u could change it by actually flirting with the guy u like in the group let him know u want something more..or date someone outside the group
2007-09-09 18:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of two, you are sooo sexy that these guys consider themselves lucky to at least be your friend but also consider you unapproachable. Or you act like buddy material and not like something that want to have a relationship with. One of my good girl friends is like this. She acts like such a homie, that noone can imagine her being the one they take home to mom. Try letting guys help you and do thinkgs for you, play stupid and give them a chance to "come to your rescue" Good Luck
2007-09-09 18:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by Eddie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they don't treat you like a potential woman no matter how sexy you are because your acting like one of the guys.. which means that you are allowing yourself to be seen as too much of an understanding buddy when you should instead be acting like a woman... an all the way woman would never sit there with a man she interested in and let him tell her his previous dirty or otherwise stories because she wants to be what he is thinking about... stop playing the boy friend role and start playing the girl friend role and you will have men interested in you.. no guy wants a woman who acts completely like one of the guys, no matter how girly you look...
2007-09-09 18:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by I Heart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem as you babe. i was told i'm more "buddy-material" and honestly, i have no idea what that means. but i bet if you ask those guys, they'd say the same thing along those lines.
these guys just get too comfortable with you that they see you as (if you're lucky) a sister or (this one sucks) they see you as one of them. i can't say for sure how you can change their mindset, but i know how you feel. just go with the flow. there's bound to be someone for you. i should know, i found one. (:
so good luck! (:
2007-09-09 18:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by dinOgaL(: 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When time comes,along the way;someone might ask you for a date/out.For now,be patient,and enjoy their company.They like and trust you thats why/perhaps you have them as your friends.I can say,you have the quality of being a friend.Keep those qualities,perhaps;it will payback!
2007-09-09 18:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys can be shy about that kinda stuff especialy when it comes to telling there friends that they like them but next time one of the ones you like checks you out and u notice it walk up and flirt a little maybe he'll flirt back bout all i can think of
2007-09-09 18:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋