Are we hurting our children by stressing tradition we were raised by upon them?

Question

Whether it be religious tradition, or tradition that they should have a family and kids when they grow up, etc? Are we hurting our children more than helping them by enforcing traditions we were raised by upon them?

If I wanted to specify I'd give the example of the perfect conservative middle-America 60's family, their kids as the parents of the new generation, keeping with those traditions of their baby boomer parents. The Brady Bunch may be a good example.

Answer 1

It really depends on your tradition. Additional details would be appreciated.
Updated Note: While the Brady Bunch wasn't a "real" family they did exhibit a lot of strong family values that aren't as common today, however, if you plan on enforcing this on your children or doing such things as punishing them by pretending to take your love away from them just because they disagree or rebel against this tradition, you may be going about it the wrong way. So to answer your question, yes you can harm your kids if they grow up not living up to your expectation or vision of a perfect American family. Just be sure to let them know you love them no matter what they choose to do in their life, but you tried your best to teach them the values you found most important in life.

Answer 2

It really depends on the tradition. If your children don't want to be involved in those traditions find some other ones. Come up with some traditions that your whole family can decide on and will love doing. This way your children don't feel pushed, but are still involved in wholesome activities. This will help you to grow closer and have more fun. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I think it depends...

Which is why I really don't like the phrase "Traditional Family Values." Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it a traditional family value for the women to stay at home and never get an education and essentially be the cooks and maids of the family?

I don't think there's anything wrong with weird or quirky family traditions, but in general I think it's silly. Change is a necessary part of life as time moves on. Resisting change is as silly as resisting time itself: pointless and non progressive.

I'm not talking big earth-shattering changes, I just mean small changes are necessary as time moves forward.

Answer 4

Yes. Tradition should just be a guide, not a norm. But parents want their kids to grow up with the values and norms they grew up with . But many of them don't realize that times do change, however slightly, and that they need to understand and adapt to them, for the sake of future generations and harmony. ESpecially when kids are raised in a different country than the parents. Values are great, but one shouldnt be judged when they choose not to follow them. One should be accepted when they do follow the values. People just don';t realize the pressures of beding bi-cultural. But even in America, the generation gap is big. There are many things we won't understand or accept about our kids/parents generation, but one must try and see things from their point of view, and only do the seeing, not the enforcing. Tradition is there for guidance, not enforcement. If so, it won't work when put up against different circumstances.

Answer 5

If the tradition is one of institutionalized abuse, that is bad. There are a number of "traditional" ethnic mindsets that discourage women from getting an education or supporting their own families... this is miserable for 1/2 of a given populace.

If the traditions are comforting in a changing world, that is good. A lot of us love and take a lot of comfort in our holiday celebrations, not just for the religious part of them, but for the family memories and traditions.

Answer 6

When you stress something upon a child it takes away their individuality. It should be a choice as to rather or not they wish to participate in the tradition. That is, unless they are too young to make their own decision. If that is the case, it is a positive way of keeping a child close in the family, but as they age, they change. If they choose not to participate in a traditional activity, you should ask for their reasoning's, and not criticize them for believing however they feel.

Answer 7

I do not believe we are hurting them. The traditions are the glue that holds a family together and gives a child the feeling of security and stability. Everyone needs something to hold on to that came from their parents and their parents, etc. Traditions are those things. Material things fade, traditions give stability.

Answer 8

I don't see how we are hurting our children by helping to set a firm foundation & structure for them. Quite the contrary, I think we hurt them more by attempting to be their friends from a young age and allowing a 'feel good', anything goes environment. If a child never has structure, traditions, expectations and consequences, then he/she grows up believing that anything they want whenever they want it is perfectly acceptable no matter what. That is the bigger hurt for our children.

Answer 9

i don't think that traditions should be FORCED upon anyone. I do think that traditions are important though. I think that the traditions should be taught to the children and they should be educated on the meaning behind them and the importance to the family and to the culture; but ultimately, they should be left to make their own decisions. I have a friend whose parents tried to force their tradition on her and she rebeled against it and wants nothing to do with it. I have another friend who was taught the traditions of his culture but was able to make his own decisions, and his family's traditions and culture are extremely important to him today and he will definitely teach his own children someday.

Answer 10

If the traditions are helpful and bring the family together and strengthen bonds and morals, how could that be wrong? I think it's very nice that kids know where their parents came from, how g-ma and g-pa raised them.