There's this guy at school who I used to be close friends with, until he disrespected me by touching me sexually. When I told him I was upset about it he only made it worse by making vulgar comments to me. The whole thing seemed really out of character for him. Before this, he was always very protective of me. He flirted at times but I always thought it was understood to be in good humor. This was before the summer.
I didn't talk to him for months, but the other day I saw him at school. He approached me in the library and was looking over my shoulder. I took off without saying anything.
The thing is, if he apologized I would forgive him right away. But he won't. I miss our friendship, and I don't want any hard feelings-- but what he did was wrong. I know a lot of girls would be flattered or would laugh it off, but I'm not like that.
What can I do to possibly make things right? Should I just leave it alone? Or should I confront him?
2007-09-09 14:38:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There were no events leading up to the sexual touching. There was no warning. I did not lead him on. It simply happened. He knew I didn't want it to happen. He knew that I was serious when I got upset about it.
2007-09-09 16:04:30 · update #1
Its not up to you to make it right, it is up to him. Obviously he values his pride way more than he does you as a person. He needs to apologize sincerely not just for his actions but for how he responded when you told him no. He was way in the wrong on both things.
2007-09-09 14:42:57 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Too bad you didn't report him to the authorities at your school. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make it right. That's up to him. He was completely in the wrong. I wouldn't confront him either, as he'll make the vulgar comments again. I would keep as far away from him as possible. Had he liked you as more than a friend, he should have made his feelings known in a way other than sexual touching.
2007-09-09 21:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have our learning curves, and he may have mistaken signals you were giving him, or others were reading what he was missing, and steered him to what they though were actions he should act upon.
You said he was protective and that he flirted with you. You stated that you THOUGHT his flirting was just good humor.
You may have also in your protective friendship allowed, your actions to go unguarded and unwitting lead him on.
His advance may have just been a simple, way to advance what he saw as a developing relationship, and your response was rejection.
What you need is to define was it a calculated advance or an assault.
Were you a misleading tease or was he a creep.
If he is a party who's affections were rejected, he may never apologize.
This is one of the situations where what happened and how it happened should be put in prospective. the ole first base VS the drive for a home run. ( you give no more info on his dis-respective actions)
2007-09-09 22:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by tom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend , you know that I really do care about you and we were good friends for a long but I was really wasn't ready for what happened. Can we be good friends again and when the time comes and I become more receptive, I'll probably give you signals and because we are good friends you will pick up on it: but all this has to wait until I am ready for it
2007-09-09 21:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he didnt mean anything by it, the mere fact that u seemed upset with the gesture would make him apologize for his action. but he made it worse by making vulgar comments. ok, so u missed the friendship. but i thnk it's best that u move on. if he valued u as a person, he would try to explain his actions and apologize for it. he does not strike me as worthy of friendship.
2007-09-09 21:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by blah blah 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You communicated your displeasure with his inappropriate action to him. How he responded is his choice and he has to live with the consequences of not having your friendship until an apology is received. You can't do anything to make it right until he offers an olive branch. And in order for it to be effective, he has to do so because he really is remorseful.
2007-09-09 21:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what ? you sound like A very good girl very good morels, don't change for some A-**** there are plenty of females without a clue how to be a lady,if you keep it up I'll bet you'll be a great one. Let him go feel someone else if that's what he wants, You let know one touch you until your ready. good life.
2007-09-09 21:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by philtoldyouso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds simular to the guy i like lol but i dk but if hes touching u sexually u might just want to stay away from him but at the same time i get the missing ur friendship so i might confront him
2007-09-09 21:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by lifes a pain drama's no game 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on, he obviously took the friendship that ya'll had and crossed the line and he's mad u shut down his manhood, he figured "oh we cool, i could probably can do whateva she wont get mad", but quickly how things change. he messed up, now he has to live with it.
2007-09-09 21:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by Good Enough........ISN'T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him. maybe he was trying to make a move on you and felt humiliated by your rejection. if it was a misunderstanding then you can start from there. if he was just being a douchebag then you should let him go. theres no reason to try to be friends with such an @$$hole.
2007-09-09 21:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by nuckfut25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋