My boyfriend goes to a different college than me. He goes out most nights and I try to convince myself to trust him but it doesn't always work out. He has never given me a reason not to trust him and he says that he would never do anything to hurt my feelings. He always calls me when he gets back home and I ask him the usual questions, "where did you go," "who were you with", what did you do", but I don't ask in a nagging way. Well last night I was asking the usual questions and he acted like he was really annoyed with me. I apologized for asking him and asked if everything was okay and he said yes. Well he fell asleep while we were talking so I just hung up. He hasn't talked to me at all yet today, on the phone or online. I don't usually like to make the first move to talk, and I don't want to annoy him. Should I call him or wait for him to call me?
Sorry this probably sounds like teenage drama...
2007-09-09 14:08:37 · 11 answers · asked by asummersheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Listen, I've been reading a bunch of teenage drama on here tonight, but yours doesn't sound like it.
Long distance relationships are difficult to keep up.
I'll tell you what I told my mom when she didn't trust the man I was considering marrying after my divorce... whom I am no happily married to for .. umm... 14 years.
If you don't trust your partner, you can't build a strong, lasting relationship. She didn't want me to trust the man I loved and I knew that would probably kill the relationship.
If he's never given you reason NOT to trust him, why is it so hard for you to trust him?
There are two possible reasons for his getting annoyed with you:
1) maybe you sound jealous and you just don't recognize it.
2) maybe he's tired of telling you in such detail everything about every time he goes out.
3) maybe he did something he's ashamed of with his buddies
4) maybe he found a girl he liked
I have no way to know which of these is right. Nor do you. Or maybe it's something different.
I think it would be good to leave him alone today... maybe even tomorrow ... and give him a chance to call you (especially you don't usually like to make the first move). Tomorrow or the day after, you can call him and if you like, you can start with saying you're sorry if you annoyed him. Then ask him what exactly triggered his being annoyed cause you're not sure what it was. Far as you knew, the conversation was going much like most of your phone conversations.
If's best if you ask what got him annoyed so you don't have to guess. Hopefully it's just that your jealousy became apparent... or he was tired of always having to tell you all the details of what he did that night. Whatever it is, if you know what it is, you can work on it either yourself... or with him.
You might need to fess up to having some difficulties with jealousy and you do need to work on that for your own sake as well as for the relationship.
2007-09-09 14:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think someone wants to have a protracted distance relationship. Existence occurs and will get in the way, you simply have got to work round it. If someone desires to be with their long distance BF or GF sufficient/or they love them ample, they are going to transfer to where the other individual is and give up the lengthy distance thing. Those people who have relationships over the internet or out of state "just for the reason that" are as a rule wasting their time. Lengthy distance relationships wont last if there isnt commitment.
2016-08-04 15:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Erika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he fell asleep on the phone he was probably pretty drunk. So maybe he was letting his annoyance come through. Maybe you need to change up the interrogation a bit. Let him tell you about his night instead of grilling him on it. Instead of asking "where did you go, who with" etc. Ask him if he had fun and let him describe his evening on his own terms.
But him being annoyed was a warning, you're starting to nag, even if you don't think you are. He's feeling it anyway. So either you have to cut him some slack, or you need to decide if this long distance thing is working for you.
2007-09-09 14:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think of all people needs to have a protracted distance relationship. existence happens and gets interior the way, you purely could artwork around it. If somebody needs to be with their long distance BF or GF adequate/or they love them adequate, they are going to pass to the place the different man or woman is and stop the long distance difficulty. those people who've relationships over the internet or out of state "purely using fact" are possibly dropping their time. long distance relationships wont final if there isnt dedication.
2016-10-10 06:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiiii
i am in a LDR too...he lives in toronto and i'm in western canada....we hardly ever get to see each other, i know how you feel and i also know that without seeing him or being with him as you would like to .it is hard to trust everything he says, well you will understand with time that you have to trust yourself and your instincts, i get to talk to my boyfriend two hrs a day and thats it! and we worked things through for over a year and a half now, it depends upon how much you both are willing to compromise and are willing to share your time together as a couple. if he is the one who lets you down in promises, dates and bails out on visiting you at the last minute he isnt very serious about it, but if he really understands how alone you feel and is willing to take time off for you during holidays , plans ahead then i would say stick with it . no matter how rough it gets make little sacrifices along the way and trust your instincts and debate the likelihood of whatever story he tells you during those moments he disappoints you , reason within yourself between things that happen once in awhile and to frequent occurrences.
ps; it is again upto you to decide to call and check on him....if he is busy give him some time to get back to you....
2007-09-09 14:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by broken wings 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't freak out yet...give him a chance to get back to you. If it is longer than usual and you are concerned just call him back like nothing happened...carry on as usual. However, a relationship does not work too well once you get into this phase. I've seen it happen too many times. But I'd rather see you prove me wrong.
2007-09-09 14:16:11 · answer #6 · answered by daff73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
while I do agree it sounds like teenage drama a lot of us have went through this. I would recommend calling him and trying to have a talk with him. See how he's doing just act normal. Im sure things will work otu eventually
2007-09-09 14:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long Distance Relationship Answer:
They don't and never work!
2007-09-09 14:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems ur relationship is strained. u must really like him a lot. maybe u should try a difft. approach. keep a little distance.
2007-09-09 14:15:53 · answer #9 · answered by joan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Email works best for long distance.
2007-09-09 14:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by Skunk 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋