My boyfriend is very smart 3.9 GPA (going to law school), tall (6'2''), sporty (college football player), good looking, etc. ...
Well, he has his problems. He does not like to show his feelings (to me), very egocentric, very stubborn, very short temper, and act baby sometimes, etc.
In the past 3 years, we don't get along very well. We almost break up two times. The only thing that keep us going is we have a very strong physical connection (lust&love)
I am tired of all the dramas and want to leave him. To be honest, I am hanging on because I afriad I could not find any better guys.
I know, I am stupid.
What do you think? Thank you so much for your help.
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Sorry for the spellings and grammar ---English is my second language.
2007-09-09 13:10:08 · 12 answers · asked by Hope 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
listen to your instincs. If you want to leave him do it because it won't get better. Marriage and kids will only add to the stress. You need to build your relationship on a stong base and thats real love not lust. Your future children need to know that mom and dad are going to be together for ever. Always remember unconditional love last for ever. lust and infatuation doesn't. There are better guys out there and you wont find them hanging out with this one. Maybe your true love is waiting for you somewhere out there and this feeling that your having is a sighn for you to leave him so you can meet your true love. plus if you don't like this guy, don't you think its dishonest for you to lead him on making him think that your really in love. He deserves someone who truely loves him and your not the one. Let him go and move on for your sake and his sake.
2007-09-09 13:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by liliana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with shelle; I don't think you're stupid either. You express yourself well in your 2nd language.
If things have been getting worse between you and your boyfriend, it might be good if you were to break up with him. Having a strong physical connection is good, but a strong physical connection with mutual respect is much better. I think having someone love you for who you are, not what you look like on his arm, might be a better place for you to be. You certainly deserve better than being subjected to his drama king nonsense.
However, it is *YOUR* call to make, but should you make it, think about staying single for a while, and make a wish list for the type of boyfriend you'd like to have, then look for him among your friends. Sometimes the right person is rght under your nose.
Food for thought: If you wrap a box of dirt with pretty paper and shiny ribbons, it's still a box of dirt. And try not to settle for Mr Right-Now. You are worth more than that.
2007-09-09 13:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by lisapeppan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are other men who are smart, good looking,( all of the positives you named and then some). Some that will treat you more how you should be treated. Right now you are "settling" for sex and attraction. Honey, those things Do Not make a relationship last. Mutual respect (for one thing)..If he can't express himself and his feelings for you after 3 years...he isn't going to change. You have to decide for yourself if you want to be happy..or if you want to stay with someone just so you don't have to be single. The only way to find someone who better suits you is to go for it. Give single life a try. Any respectable man isn't going to pursue a woman who is already taken - boundary #1. Have you ever heard that people treat you the way you have taught them to? You have stood by and stayed with this guy for over 3 years..He'll never treat you any differently unless you make him.
2007-09-09 13:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by quest4knowledge 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hung on and married the wrong one. I thought it would be OK. I was wrong. What a heartache and a mess to correct a mistake after 18 long years. What a waste of time and effort. Stop now and walk away. Those traits of his that you mentioned will not get better. Those are character flaws. Move on. There are plenty of nice guys wondering where all the great women are. Yours is waiting and looking. Good luck.
2007-09-09 13:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
no one can really tell you what to do. It is very important to trust your instincts in this. Your boyfriend sounds as if he has some major issues that he needs to work on. You sound as if you might need some additional support to help you feel good about your self and end what seems like an unhealthy relaltionship.
There are many places where you can meet men that will respect and honor you Give yourself time and permission to find one.
2007-09-09 13:41:51 · answer #5 · answered by cbellsew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on. Good looks and brains are alot for a short term. Character is far more important to creating a good realtionship.
2007-09-09 13:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by Bob D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems you are realizing a physical attraction is meaningless if there is not an emotional attraction. Don't sell yourself short. Find a new relationship that has both.
2007-09-09 15:57:48 · answer #7 · answered by Bocephus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not stupid but you do need to call it quits. Physical attraction and lust does not go very far. You should move on and you will find someone better.
2007-09-09 13:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by shelle4392 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nobody is perfect. My wife will verify that. However, if you're that unhappy BEFORE the marriage then a legal document will not change it. He can tell you he will try to change, but he will always revert to his natural personality.
2007-09-09 13:48:29 · answer #9 · answered by xxted_strykerxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do better. Ditch the loser and find somebody who appreciates you for who you are, not who they think you should be. Drama is a bad sign.
2007-09-09 13:44:28 · answer #10 · answered by Rainbow Connection 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋