I have been in an abusive relationship before.. my ex hit me so i ended up fighting back, we went to counceling and the counceler told me to stop fighting back and the violence would stop ... it didnt, so i got out of the relationship and evtually that woman who told me not to fight back got fired.
It has been years since that happened ive had a couple boyfreinds since then and just got engaged again, He was wonderful!! and promised never to hit me, he knew my past and wantd to kick my exs *** but i never let him.. He asked me to marry him last januaray and i accepted.... of course, military man, whole nine yards... well i hurt my back at work last friday, all the muscles on my left side were pulled.. i asked him to stay so i wouldnt be alone and ended up waking him up, cause he was kneeing me while i slept and hurtong my back even more... he got upset... words were exchanged and he got up to leave. I rolled over and tried to stop him from leaving... not my intention on waking him
2007-09-09 13:06:58 · 15 answers · asked by hguy222222 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
9 hours ago
he hit me, in the back where i hurt it at work two days prior... after he had promised never to hit me... What do i do??
8 hours ago
He claimed that it was a reaction, to me trying to get him to stay. It was 4 am... he has never ever shown the violent side of his nature before but he must have one he is a black belt and just gout out of the navy. He was brought up in the south and i in vermont... so we are very different up bringings.. am i in the wront or was he....
The thing she left out is that when she says she reached back to stop me from leaving she hit me in the balls, I did have a reaction to that and as soon as I did I jumped over and started saying sorry and trying to make her feel better. She hasn't stopped telling me I'm abusive since then. I've never touched her before and would never do it again. Guys do have reactions to getting hit there. I want to know what other people think about it though?
2007-09-09 13:09:30 · update #1
She doesn't believe she hit me in the balls either, she is convinced she hit me in the leg. She thinks this should of been added to this. And she says she never called me an abuser but I don't know how to delete that. I'm trying to make this question show the full story from both sides.
2007-09-09 13:45:36 · update #2
Tell him he should respect you and not even touch u physically ...respect urself and leave any man who hurts/abuses you....
2007-09-09 13:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by smart 1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having once been in an abusive relationship.. and read other articles on abuse and just hitting in general male female double standard, i seem to agree with the older answers. She was promsed that he would never hit, and he did... He seems to have some repressed anger also in reposting her questions and inserting words into her mouth. Regardless if he were a true man, he should have never hit her in the first place. Walked away maybe, but never ever hit her.
She should leave, if nothing else take time and look at her options becuse if he cannot control his temper when she is already hurt. Than what is he going to do in a more searious situation. Run honey Run...
2007-09-09 21:04:23 · answer #2 · answered by never loved 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it happens once and you stay because "he's sorry and it will never happen again", then the next time it DOES happen, it makes it that much harder to leave. The longer you stay the more likely you will be not to leave.
He may have had a reaction due to being tired, but that is an excuse and no excuse is good enough to stay.
2007-09-09 20:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it was an accident. half of what you guys are saying aren't that drastic! its not as if he intentionally hit you, he was kneeing you when you guys were both sleeping, your explanation of the situation is kind of murky. plus it looks like your man is trying to explain himself on the additional details section, so obviously he is saying you hit his balls that is why he kneed you! that is not abusive. abuse is when you guys are both fully aware and concious of your actions. like if he hits you for not doing the laundry or something studpid. no guy or girl should hit each other for any reason. whoever strikes the other first is always at fault no matter what reason. what you did in your first abusive relationship was right, you hit him back to defend yourself, i don't know what the counselor was thinking telling you not to. but it truly doesn't sound like you are in an abusive relationship right now. i think you're still recovering from the first abusive relationship and you're still really skittish which is normal.
2007-09-09 20:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by vixen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need help. Adults that care about one another
need to show love & affection, not child like bickering.
If you plan on a life together and really want this to last.
Why don't you get counceling?
2007-09-09 20:16:03 · answer #5 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out NOW. It will only get worse. That counselor deserved to lose her license. She gave you terrible advice.
A physical abuser cannot change without longterm psychiatric help. The beatings will escalate.
2007-09-09 20:10:42 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you, GET OUT OF THERE! You have already been in abusive relationships and do not need to be in another one.
2007-09-09 20:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let him cool down and talk about it, I sure he didn't intentional meant to kick you. Communication is the key to a happy marriage and relationship.
2007-09-09 20:12:45 · answer #8 · answered by rma2ks 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well did you hit him in the balls? if so he was probably reacting to that. it was 4am and you did hit him in the balls. so stay with him. perhaps you want him to abuse you subconsciously. b/c that would seem normal. let it go, talk to him, communicate.
2007-09-09 20:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by duckcom1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now... I know it is hard, especially if you have been a victim before.. but he is showing his true colors now. Get out now before children are involved.
2007-09-09 20:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by greyskymourning82 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋