My boyfriend is always talking about how his life "sucks" and it hurts my feelings because it makes me feel like nothing to him. BUT, I KNOW he loves me..he tells me all the time and says that he wants to marry me,etc...
At the same time I love him but I don't want to feel like nothing for the rest of my life..how can I talk to him about this without making him feel bad (he is slightly depressed...)?
Also it will have to be over the phone or in a letter because he is away at school...I MIGHT see him this coming weekend but it's only a like..50% chance..
Thanks!
2007-09-09 11:41:46 · 20 answers · asked by southernsweetie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he probably misses you, but you need to let him know how you feel. tell him the way you just told us... if he loves you he'll understand and make a change
2007-09-09 11:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by msmikki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your boyfriend needs you to be there to pick him up not drag him down. I am sure what ever problem is causing his depression it is not you, you are probably the bright spot in his life. You need to believe and trust in his love so that he can move past this tough patch in his life. Take it from a girl who has been there, when you start feeling bad about yourself you don't make anyone feel better. You need to get involved with other activities to occupy your time while your boyfriend is away so that when you see him you will have many interesting things to talk about.
2007-09-09 18:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by Kathy F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you need to talk to him. A letter would probably be the best way. Becos then you can say what you need to say to make sure he understands that you arent attacking him, that you arent critizing him etc. IF you talk over the phone there is always the possiblity that you would not say all that needs to be said.
I know from experience that if you dont tell him now, that he will not know how it makes you feel. He is not a mind-reader, and he will only understand once you tell him. And to make sure you say ALL that you need to say for you , write it in a letter. That way it is said and done, there is no mistake of meaning and he has physical proof of how he is making you feel.
You deserve to be happy, you are something and he needs to know how he has been makingyou feel. Even if its not on purpose.
2007-09-09 18:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by nettie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, just talk to him and some how show him that life is what one makes of it. If he is always saying how bad it sucks then he is hurting you because ur in his life. No more negative talks. If he starts to think positive then he will see life different. Try to help him see this and if he continue with the negative talk let him know that he is including you in his awful way of looking at life and ur not having it. Then u decide what to do.
Good Luck.
2007-09-09 18:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by Esther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down, turn off the TV, etc and let him know how that all makes you feel. Chances are he may not even realize what he's doing. He could mean every other aspect of his life except you. You know us males aren't the greatest communicators in the world and have to pull our feet out of our mouths from time to time. We often need female coaching on this. And other things as well.
2007-09-09 18:49:27 · answer #5 · answered by clayp72 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He may have a depressive illness but still . . . He sounds depressive, oppressive, and probably abusive and he tells you that he loves you because you are his security blanket and dish towel. If he makes you "feel like nothing" PLEASE from the voice of experience, let him be someone else's problem and find a nice guy who is emotionally healthy and will make you feel "like something" really good. If you hang on to this person, things will only get worse . . . for you.
Been there, done that. Don't do it, girl.
2007-09-09 18:50:53 · answer #6 · answered by philosophyangel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmm.....you have to talk to him to see what is really going on. Guy's don't like to open up but this is one of those situations where you should get him to try. Depression is a serious thing, and if he is having these feeling he may need to talk to a professional. I would advise you not to take what he says to heart and make your self depressed. It is important that you keep your spirits up so that you can encourage him. Isn't that what relationships are all about. Talk to him, please! I know school can be stressful but it sounds like something more here!
2007-09-09 18:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by lonely23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have feelings for this boy, but they way he is talking and treating you is not fair. Relationships should be equal partnerships and they should make us feel better about ourselves. It sounds like this guy has his own issues and needs to learn to like himself. Until he learns to love the person HE is, he can never love you. That is the TRUTH, plain and simple. You can tell him he makes you feel bad, but he is not in a place to give you what you want. I would suggest taking a break from each other for a while. You will find that you will begin to feel better about yourself once you have gotten away from this toxic relationship.
2007-09-09 18:50:46 · answer #8 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You come first, if he make you feel bad because he's down on life than think about how his depression will progress in the future. for now he needs to get help and you should be supportive. think about you, make sure he gets help before you fully commit to a serous relationship. good luck and make the right decision for you
2007-09-12 22:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by Frank R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you might be but I would run for your life! I would imagine you have some strong feelings for him and care about or love him but you cannot fix him! You have apparently tried to reason with him and it hasn't worked. Maybe you could suggest he get some professional help and you could hope he comes around without you having to coerce him.
2007-09-09 18:53:56 · answer #10 · answered by aggie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an abuser and your taking it. He obviously has issues and hasn't received or sought out any help with. You make what you want of your life, no one makes it for you. That's an excuse. Beleive me when I say, you are better off without him, he will only hurt you at some point.
Tell him to get help professionally or it's over.
2007-09-09 18:46:46 · answer #11 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋