No, I'm not 13 years old, I'm just shy of 21. And pretty shy as well. Mentally, I'm just too shy and negative to ask girls out, or deal with liking a girl. I've been on one date (she basically told me to ask her out) but that's it. I always worry about what other people (people that I know, which is basically family) will think about me. I've been in college for 3+ years, surrounded by hot girls, and have managed to not ask a single one out. When I like a girl, I instantly think of the negatives, and blow it for myself. Some people on another forum said I'm just not ready, and I don't think I ever will be.
OK, that's it for now...
2007-09-09 11:27:30 · 9 answers · asked by Wocka wocka 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You already know what the problem is. No one else could have said it better than you did: You m i n d f u c k yourself. And if you already know the problem, the solution should be equally obivous....don't do that. Yes, breaking this habit is easier said than done, but there's more female motivation around you right now than you can shake a stick at just waiting for you to get control of your own head. The only one standing in your way is you (who could possibly tell you how to deal with you better than you)? Change the way you think and you'll change your whole reality.
2007-09-09 11:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it sounds difficult but you should change the way you think, don´t be too negative. After all it´s not that hard to ask someone out, the worst thing that could happen is that she tells you that she doesn´t want to. Try not to overthink it, it makes it more difficult. I´m telling you this because the same thing happens to me, I´m shy too, but you can´t live forever like that, can you? I know it´s easy to say this, even I´m not sure to be able to do this, but well, be brave!! I don´t know, get some help from a friend, don´t just sit there and wait, that won´t solve anything.
2007-09-09 11:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not fair for you, try and do something about this. Hey don't think at all what other people think of you that should not be a bother. Who cares what they think. It's your life and you live it the way you want. Go ahead and get to know some girls and do ask them out. Maybe a girl who you think like what you like and at first just become friends and then ask her out to a movie or any place that might be fun to go to. Relax and shake that shyness away for good. Enjoy yourself dare to be a little silly just do it.
Good Luck awesome.
2007-09-09 11:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by Esther 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok lets break this down.
I think you need to focus more on becoming friends with females before attempting to estabilish a relationship. Yes i think you are capable of one, and more then mature enough to handle one, but I think you need to start off slow and progress from there.
Start by small talk. You've been in college for 3 plus years, you obviously have had to interact with females on occassion, exchanging notes, swaping snide comments about the professors. Or if not, you've overheard them talking possibly, you know what they are talking about, the type of things they mention to their friends, the subjects they talk about (not encouraging you to spy, but this is probably just something that you've picked up over time).
Now what you want to do is establish a friendship with one of them. Yes you are surrounded by hot girls and in no way shape or form should you deny yourself a relationship with a hot girl, but it might be easier to talk to someone who physically appears less intimating then the model in 6 inch stiltios who you happen to sit beside in a lecture.
Once you've established a friendship (and feel free to establish more then one), you might want to suggest doing something outside of school, be it bar night, coffee, or one on one studying, or if your ready, ask her out to dinner or a movie. Just a simple "I was gunna go grab coffee, wanna join me?" or after studying... "I'm starved, wanna grab pizza?" When your out, for converstation purposes- when in doubt as a question. This will allow you to build up confidence in yourself and get the hang on dealing with females in general before limiting yourself to one female.
I think you need to focus on the postive... there are MANY MANY women out there in the same boat as you who are shy and intimated by the opposite sex. And its scary and an emotional upheaval trying to establish relationships with your peers, being it just friends or more meaningful then BFFs.
Take your time, your young, the more you learn, explore and expose yourself to the general population the better you will be at opening yourself up to people and establishing relationships.
2007-09-09 11:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay this is gonna be blunt- u like her ask her out u get rejected life goes on! seriously even if ur shy ur never gonna get a gf that way let alone a wife! I just say ask her out and u mite be surprised!! good luck!
2007-09-09 11:32:20 · answer #5 · answered by jennie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just take the plunge. the longer you wait the harder its gonna get. trust me i know. i used to be the same way and was afraid of rejection but you learn not to take rejection personally & after you really dont care if they say no. besides whats the worse that can happen...
just say "**** it, im gonna do it" & psyche yourself up and just do it. do a ton of pushups if you have it too but get it done or you will forever end up with your lonesome.
2007-09-09 11:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
and that is it for now, soon you will hva so many dates you won't be able to keep up with them ,you are just a late bloomer
2007-09-09 11:36:34 · answer #7 · answered by elizabeth_davis28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a loser, go on Montel or Oprah and cry your heart out.
2007-09-09 11:36:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ravi Joshi 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
huh?
2007-09-09 11:31:12 · answer #9 · answered by ashleyyy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋