My friend is FINALLY getting back out there....
2007-09-09 10:28:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please do NOT answer the question before reading it. It is my friend not my "friend". Anyone who implies differently will get a thumbs down from me. Stop playing shrink. A friend can simply be a friend... Jupiter!
2007-09-09 10:39:32 · update #1
Don't talk about anything to do with the Ex. Don't even bring him/or her up in conversation.
Start out fresh with a clean slate. If she has children she could mention them, but not on the first date unless asked.
Some guys are turned off by thinking there will be an instant family in their future.
2007-09-09 10:32:03 · answer #1 · answered by David T 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is such a great question! Help her practice over and over again until it's second nature NOT talking about her ex. It telegraphs things about you that you may not even be aware of. After my divorce I could be sitting calmly talking to friends one minute and be in a full-fledged rant about "what's-her-name" the next minute. And that's the way the hurt and anger comes out of people in this situation....in intense waves of emotion. The crazy thing is, almost anything (no matter how seemingly insignificant) can set off one of these episodes: TV commercials, a smell in the air, seeing a car that looks like one the ex drove....it doesn't really matter what it is because the reaction will still be the same. If she can avoid going places on dates she went with her ex-husband, this will be an enormous help. As many "new" experiences as she can have will diminish the tendency to devolve into retrospection (especially while on dates). This is far easier said than done, but it's a necessary transition to make or some of those early dates will fail miserably. Side note: you have to be a pretty fantastic friend to have been insightful enough to ask this question.
2007-09-09 17:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Avoid talking about the ex
2007-09-17 01:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by John D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid talking about the breakup and the bad things about the husband. If he should ask what happened just say that you could not get along and that just the way it was.or you had your differences-not compatible..
2007-09-09 17:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
anything too personal.
family issues and drama should be avoided
and talk about the divorce or the ex.
and don't let the guy think you have emotional baggage!
2007-09-09 17:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by ally 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Avoid talking about your ex husband or the problems in your marriage.
2007-09-09 17:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Don't talk about EX and past relationships!
2007-09-17 10:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by physco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid talking about your ex- and all the things that were wrong with him/her. "It just didn't work out."
If you have kids, try to avoid talking about all the challenges they provide. Save that until you determine someone is interested in you.
Money problems. ("Is s/he just looking for a meal ticket?)
***
2007-09-09 17:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can talk about anything but politics, religion and the EX!!!
2007-09-09 17:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by Xylophia 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your "friend" not to talk badly about your ex. Politicts, and sex should generally be avoided as well.
2007-09-09 17:33:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mimi 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋